The Beggars’ Banquet: Peppermint Bark As Good As Its Bite

So, normally when I write about food for Persephone, I think to myself, “What have I been eating a lot of lately?” And then I write about that. Unfortunately for you (or perhaps not-so-unfortunately), all I have been eating lately is metric tons of peppermint bark.

Here’s how you make the good stuff:

2 lbs. chocolate (milk or dark or semi-sweet, your choice) chips
2 lbs. white chocolate chips
12 large candy canes (large meaning normal-sized, not those little 3″ deals, but not the ones that resemble police batons, either)
1/2 tsp. peppermint oil

What you do: Line an 11″ x 17″ baking pan (like Pyrex style) with parchment paper; tin foil works too. Spray with cooking spray in a pinch if you’ve nothing suitable to line it with. I don’t recommend wax paper; you’ll be pouring hot things in and wax melts.

Beat the shit out of your candy canes. I recommend doing the following: unwrap candy canes. Place in large ziplock bag. Place large ziplock bag between two large towels. Take out a meat tenderizer, hammer, or something else for smashing. Commence smashing. You’re done when the pieces look sprinkleable.

In the top of a double boiler (or, in a metal bowl set over a pot of simmering water if you don’t have a double boiler), melt your milk/semi/dark chocolate first. Stir constantly. Pour the melted chocolate into your lined 11×17 pan, spread evenly, and place in the fridge to firm up quickly. Rinse your double boiler or metal bowl, dry it thoroughly, and commence with the melting of your white chocolate. Mix into the white chocolate your peppermint oil and, once everything is sufficiently melty, remove from heat and mix in candy cane bits. Pour over the semi-hardened chocolate and spread evenly again. Chill for about 1/2 an hour, possibly slightly longer, until everything is firm. Break into pieces with a knife (or whatever) and chow down.

You should store this in an airtight container in the fridge for up to a week, which means you should be eating this on the regular. Naturally.

It’s kind of embarrassing how you can make so much of this for so cheap, right? But how stores charge between $10-30 for small tins of the stuff? Make it at home. 

By Meghan Young Krogh

Meghan had a number of quality writing mentors over the course of her education, which just goes to show that you can't blame the teacher for the way the student turns out. Team Oxford Comma represent.

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