So I know this person, my ex-boss, who is getting married this summer. He would constantly talk about how his wedding would be the wedding of the century, blah blah. This was before I, along with a bunch of other people quit/got laid off because his company was hemorrhaging money and said boss wasn’t dealing with the situation well. Recently, I heard that his fiancee had been stepping out on him (on a regular basis), ever since the company started losing money. Lies about hanging out with friends really meant something else. I’m not really close with said boss anymore and while it’s not my business, it still makes me feel kind of bad that I know that this is happening since he was always really kind to me and left me with a glowing recommendation when I left the company. Also, it sucks he’s marrying someone who’s kind of a golddigger and only with him because he pays for everything for her (he paid for her useless liposuction just before the company started operating in the red). Should I let it be? Should I be sociopathic and leak that info to one of his friends? I should really just ignore this, right? Not my business!
Okay. Let me start off by saying what I would probably do, and that is accidentally on purpose get a little bit drunk and let it slip directly to ex-boss. Because I am terrible at a) minding my own business, and b) keeping secrets.
But I don’t think that’s the right thing to do. And here’s why:
Imagine what will happen if you tell the boss. He presumably looks upon you like a sweet former employee, whom he feels guilty about having had to lay off, but not much more. I noticed you didn’t say “I have this friend who was my boss” or “my boss, who happens to be my twin brother,” which leads me to believe that the relationship that you had with him was a cordial professional one.
His relationship with his fiancÃ©e, I would wager a guess, is much stronger.
When it comes to exposing a cheating partner, it all comes down to trust. Whom is he going to trust more? The person he laid off last summer and has reason to be bitter, who was constantly rolling her eyes* at the idea of the wedding? Or his one true beloved lovely love?
He’s going to trust her. And given that she sounds comfortable with lying as well as being completely vested in the relationship, she’s not going to confess. Meanwhile, your relationship with your boss is not strong enough to survive the conflict, and you won’t actually be making a difference in terms of his wedding, because she will lie and he will believe her.
You mentioned leaking the information to one of his friends. Do you think his friends don’t know? If the information is making the rounds to people who are tenuously connected to the couple, his closer friends probably know, or at least suspect. If you really think that they don’t know, and you have decent relationships with them, it might be worth saying something. Then again, if they are in the dark, and you aren’t close with them, then they, too, will likely believe the fiancÃ©e of their best friend over a jilted ex-employee.
Your ex-boss is going to find out. If she’s stepping out on him before the wedding, and not being very discreet about it, he will find out. It might not be before he’s already gotten legally entangled with her, but your saying something won’t change that. Besides, if his company is hemorrhaging money, it sounds like she’s going to get out of the relationship on her own.
It’s not that I believe that people should support the secrets of a cheating partner, but that I think you being the one to disclose the information will only backfire. Your position as a laid-off ex-employee, regardless of how fondly you remember the job, makes you a poor and ineffective candidate for breaking terrible news.
*I’m sure you weren’t rolling your eyes
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