This is the story of how I met Mr Cesy (or Good Looking Hockey Boy, GLHB for short, for the purpose this story). It’s entirely ridiculous, so I thought I’d share it for your amusement.
- Come home from university one sunny February day to discover your flatmate having a beer with his tall and very good looking field hockey team mate.
- Somehow be slightly charmed as GLHB shows you a disgusting picture of his toe which has had the nail removed after he attempted surgery on it with a craft knife. Slightly regret it when he leaves your house.
- Start chatting on Facebook to GLHB. Actually do your homework for your Political Communication class when GLHP tells you it was his favourite paper, so you have something to talk to him about.
- Invite GLHB to your ’80s themed birthday party. Be disappointed that he isn’t able to come because he is working. Spend quite a bit of the night looking at the door, hoping he’ll come in after work.
- Make a status update that asks if anyone wishes to come and see “Angels and Demons” with you. (Feel shame while writing this when you recall you wanted to see “Angels and Demons”).
- Go and see “Angels and Demons” with two of your flatmates, their respective girlfriends and GLHB. The seating arrangement is somehow done so you and GHLB are sitting by each other. Make terrible jokes about the Catholic Church throughout the movie to the annoyance of people behind you.
- Take a sudden and unprecedented interest in field hockey. Get up on freezing cold Saturday mornings to watch keep your flatmate’s girlfriend company at hockey. Tell yourself that’s the only reason you’ve gone to watch the hockey.
- Ingratiate yourself with GLHB’s best friend, hoping to wrangle an invitation to a pub crawl you know GLHB will be on. Fail miserably.
- Turn up at the end of the pub crawl anyway because the pub is 100 metres from your house and you can “use a break from writing assignments.”
- Watch as your drunken flatmate puts a coin in your drink as he hands it to you. Proceed to scull the drink because there’s a coin in there and you have to.
- Smile as GLHB joins in the fun by putting a coin in your next drink. Shoot him a look that is supposed to be alluring while pretending to be slightly annoyed about what he has done, just end up looking like a dog chewing toffee.
- Manage to get a coin in GLHB’s drink. Watch with delight the faces he makes while he sculls a Jack and Coke.
- Get hit on by a very drunk member of the hockey team who is not GLHB. Become dismayed as GLHB’s best friend and your flatmate “encourage” it because they can see how uncomfortable it is making GLHB and you.
- Leave pub to go home and finish the assignment that you were taking a break from. Discover shortly after that you have been joined by the dregs of the pub crawl at home, most notably your drunk flatmate and GLHB’s drunk best friend. Start chatting to GHLB on Facebook while you try to ignore the drunken party going on downstairs.
- Start receiving phone calls from your flatmate’s phone. Discover it is quite obviously GLHB’s best friend on the line but he’s saying he is GLHB. Listen as the best friend tries pick up lines (as GLHB) that a 12-year-old would cringe at. Laugh nervously as you find out that the best friend also rings GLHB pretending to be you, and apparently fails miserably.
- End up burning the best friend with a cup of tea as he makes another phone call to GLHB pretending to be you. Protest that it really was an accident, which it was, but you’re not too sorry about it. He’s not that hurt anyway.
- Discover next day that the best friend and your flatmate have set up a so-called “company,” the sole goal of which is getting yourself and GLHB together. Best friend and flatmate name themselves “Lord of Awesomeness” and “Lord of Sweet-assness” as the officers of this company. Become slightly disappointed that they don’t register with the Companies Office.
- Go around the company and start chatting to GLHB about mutual favourite television shows. GLHB comes down to watch some QI and lends you his copy of Fawlty Towers. Smile as he informs you that when you have finished the first season, he will come down and watch the second with you.
- Praise John Cleese for only doing six episodes a series. Blast through the first season that night.
- Invite GLHB down to watch second season of Fawlty Towers. Manage to watch the first five without too much drama, on your bed with arms around each other.
- Fail to watch the final episode of Fawlty Towers as you start making out for a very long time. GLHB ends up staying the night.
- Accept an invite from GLHB to watch Quantum of Solace at his house three days later.
- Turn up at his house, make some awkward small talk with Best Friend, and then attempt to watch Quantum of Solace with GLHB. Take approximately nothing of it in.
- Accept when GLHB asks you out.
- Laugh as the Lords of Awesomeness and Sweet-assness proclaim success and invoice you for one “relationship creation.” Pay the invoice (one box of beer) and bask in the glow of a new relationship.
Over 2.5 years later, we still haven’t seen the final episode of Fawlty Towers and I’m still not sure what happened in Quantum of Solace.
Anyone else have a completely ridiculous beginning to their relationship with their significant other? Share it in the comments!