Lunchtime Poll

Lunchtime Poll: Unfortunate Events

After Cassandra’s post about ladybleeding earlier this week, I promised to make today’s LTP about unfortunate accidents. Have you ever had to leave work to change pants? I’ve only had to do it once, I started unexpectedly and very, let’s say, forcefully. Thankfully I lived about ten minutes from work and I was back, feeling fresh and frisky, in less than half an hour, but it was still awkward to have to go to my boss, who was younger than me and a guy, and say, “I need to leave for half an hour, I’m having feminine issues.”

And if there are any menfolk in the audience today, have you ever had to leave work to get new pants?*


I tried to think of a good image to add to this poll, but this was the best I could do.

*I was at a party one night and everyone went into overshare mode. I left wondering if I was the only person I knew who had not, at one point or other, shit my pants.


By [E]SaraB

Glass artisan by day, blogger by night (and sometimes vice versa). SaraB has three kids, three pets, one husband and a bizarre sense of humor. Her glass pendants can be found at if you're interested in checking it out.

87 replies on “Lunchtime Poll: Unfortunate Events”

Agh.  I had a work “related” story….

I was in the infantile stages of figuring out that me and gluten should not be friends (up until this point I thought it was JUST Wheat that caused me discomfort)… Anyway.  I had bought a loaf of Spelt bread (Spelt has gluten in it) and had eaten a sandwich before doing a work fund raising event. it was just a piddly little almond butter sandwich… not a triple-decker monstrosity…

The event was a 3.5 mile run/walk.  The stomach cramps hit a mile in… I barely made it back to my car before my bowels let loose… I was mortified… what kind of 30-something year old woman shats themselves?  One with an intolerance to GLUTEN… not just wheat.


Well, I’m bolstered by everyone else’s story to share mine.

It was the 5th grade and not only was I the type of kid who the teacher’s word was law with and I had a crush on my teacher.  I wanted to be the best student evar! so I took all of his rules fairly literally.  He was a brand new teacher, and had a rule during reading groups that you didn’t bug him with that day’s group unless it was about bones, blood or puke.  We were not to disturb him with going to the bathroom.  So I waited.  And waited.

Anybody seeing where this is going?  Yep.  I pissed myself.  It’s funny how when you do that there’s is no stopping it.  All you can do is frantically squeeze while staring at everyone around you, wondering if they notice that there is a spreading stain down your pants.  Then I got to explain to the teacher I had a crush on that I pissed myself, and then explain it to my mother, and then to at least 5 people in the office while I waited for my mother to come collect me.  I don’t remember people mocking me for it, but then, I don’t remember most of my childhood.

I never had many issues with my period, thankfully, but one other time, also in the 5th grade, I split a pair of pants from the waistband to the crotch on my ass playing a map game where I was basically doing the splits making a chain to get someone across to Hawai’i from Alaska.  I had an uncomfortable day, since it’s really hard to wrap a leather jacket around your waist.

I had the (almost) same exact thing happen to me in first grade!  We were doing some stupid phonics worksheet about syllables, and I had it finished within the first three minutes.  I raised my hand to go to the bathroom and the teacher told me I had to wait until everyone was done with their worksheet.  I waited, and waited, and waited.  I eventually peed my skirt.  I cried, went to the bathroom without permission to clean up, got pulled out into the hallway to get yelled at for disobeying orders, got to go to the nurse and go home.  I have never SEEN my mother in such a fit of rage as she was when she took me back to school at the end of the day to let my teacher have it.

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