Alright, back from hiatus after all the drama with which the mid-season ended. For a quick refresher, check out QoB’s last recap to be reminded of all the backstabby, break-uppy good times from way back in November and then on with latest romangst!
The episode opens as Bonnie follows voices (It’s fine, she’s a witch, otherwise it maybe would be a bit problematic?) into the basement of the old witchy house where she frequently gets her witchy ways on. In the basement, she finds four coffins, one that contains a peacefully-resting Klaus who happens to be holding the Orginal Witch’s amulet in his cold, dead hands. But look out! There’s someone behind you! Then Bonnie wakes up, natch. It seems that Elena too has been feeling pretty paranoid since Klausageddon ““ there’s been no sign of him, or Stefan for that matter. Damon appears to be resolving Stefan’s betrayal by getting wasted and nattering at Alaric who, in turn, is concerned about the newly fired, currently failing history Jeremy. And since Jeremy and Tyler are both newly-single, the two of them are commiserating by hanging out shooting shit. As boys do.
So of course, because older sisters have a responsibility to be concerned about the mental state of their younger brothers (trust me, I know), Elena, ever the dutiful sister, worries away about Jeremy, since the boy’s lost everyone, going through hard times, being a teenager blah blah blah. Damon points out that he still has her, a little sad and maybe pathetic coming from the guy who neither has his own brother nor does he have Elena, at least not in the way he wants. In any case, problem not solved, especially since Klaus shows up, finally, to do some threatening. See, he wants his family back from Stefan, and if Damon and Elena don’t track him down people are going to have to die. When murder is your leverage you tend to get people motivated. Plus, where’s Rebekah?
But the thing about murder is you have to kind of act on it to make it believable. I suppose for posterity’s sake Team Good Guy has to at least feign resistance against their hybrid overlords, but we all know what’s going to happen. Tyler, perpetually in a conflict of interest, sets Jeremy up to be mowed-over by a fellow Klausite because Klaus asks him to. Fortunately, Alaric takes one for the team. Seems to be the pattern, eh? Tyler feels mildly guilty about the whole thing but appears to be being swayed by Klaus’s pathological charms. Dude is lost without Caroline. So, inevitably, Team Good Guy agrees to find Stefan. As luck would have it, Stefan has been in touch with Bonnie, who then obviously tells Elena where to find her jerk of an ex. At the old witchywoo house. Stefan doesn’t give a rat’s ass about Jeremy nearly dying and he’s not about to give Klaus his family back. It’s his only leverage. I see his point. I also think he’s faking his utter disdain for Elena. But that’s for another, more interesting episode.
Stefan: Stop talking.
Elena: Are you listening to me? He’s going to kill Jeremy.
Stefan: Not really my problem.
After Elena storms out, Damon goes inside to talk to (stake) Stefan. As usual, Damon gets Stefan to talk. The coffins aren’t just leverage ““ they are revenge. Oh, and Stefan mucked up the kill-Klaus plan because it would have cost Damon his life. But since now they both agree that Klaus has to be dead, they decide to work together. Stefan reveals the coffins in the basement (rendered invisible by dead witch juu juu to those except the privileged few). Bonnie believes that the one coffin that cannot be opened holds the key to the destruction of Klaus. Meanwhile, Elena has returned a knifed Rebekah to Klaus in exchange for protection for Jeremy, but warns him that his sister knows he killed their mom. Klaus is going to have to wait a while before he wakes her up. Give a while to chill with that nugget of rage.
Back at home, Alaric isn’t healing right. (Does his ring need to be recharged with a soul gem?) Conveniently, as the paramedics are set to take him to the hospital, the Klausite shows up to send away medical help and offer his blood if only he is invited into the house. Like a ninja, Jeremy shoots the guy in the back with an arrow and then proceeds to chop his head off with a meat cleaver (less like a ninja). Alaric goes to the hospital where he heals with unnatural rapidity (thanks Damon’s blood!) and meets a new love interest/potentially suspicious character with devious backstory. Jeremy has started to accept his life of death and violence but Elena is having none of it. It’s just not fair! Jeremy is just a boy! He needs to have a normal life! So Damon compels him to forget the horror of his life and they agree to ship him off to family in Colorado. I guess he doesn’t see ghosts anymore.
So, this episode was pretty meh for me. I’m kinda glad that Jeremy is being waylaid. He’s boring. Still, cue the sad music. Maybe the writers knew the episode was a bunch of rehashing of the last episode, so they finished it off with a (somewhat predictable) bang. Damon realizes now that Stefan isn’t the world’s biggest d-bag and that he’s still not free to feel what he feels for Elena. He tells her the truth about Stefan botching the kill-Klaus plan, that he did it to save him. S,o he still has to feel guilty about being Elena’s rock or whatever. He’s about to leave all deferred closure-like but says fuck it, if he’s going to feel guilty, he’s going to feel guilty about this, and then proceeds to kiss Elena. THE END.
Anyway, after a pretty utilitarian episode, the big payoff wasn’t quite big enough for me. (Now, if Stefan and Elena had kissed, that’d be something.) Featuring fairly boring characters doing fairly predictable stuff is, well, fairly boring. As a remedy next week’s episode should heavily feature some dramz between Caroline (where is Caroline? Don’t they know she’s the star of the show?) and a shirtless Tyler, more bitter Stefan, perhaps secretly pining after his lost love or being Rippery. And some Katherine. And I guess, just for spice, Elena and Damon doing it wouldn’t hurt either.
PS. People are calling Elena and Damon “Delena.” I much prefer Elamon. But maybe that’s just me.
Image from vampirediariesweb.com.