Another day, another excruciatingly painful decision, focused this time on the saltiest competitors!
On Day 7, the basic trumped the exceptional (what, me? Biased? Never!):
Brie 60% v. Gouda 40%
Ricotta 60% v. Fontina 40%
We’ve got a killer today: the mighty Parmigiano Reggiano must battle with the briny, goaty Feta. I can’t offer much help on this one, folks; I know my pick, but this one’s gonna hurt big time. In the other match-up, we’ll find out if Havarti can sustain its upsetter position against the bravura Asiago.
On your marks, get set… DEBATE! [And I mean DEBATE, if you don’t bring it I will stalk your comments and start fights to ensure entertainment value. Cheese is a big deal, you guise!!]
77 replies on “The Big Cheese Bracket: Day 8”
oh god, Parm vs Feta is like sophie’s choice for me. I went with feta only because I eat more of it by volume.
I was able to click on both Feta and Parmigniano. That’s a good thing, right?
Not really, because I have to recount/recalculate without the double vote–it messes up the percentages.
Oh sorry, gold.
Sorry, Parmy, I had to go with feta on this one. Has anyone noticed that Feta in the states and Feta in the UK tastes different? The latter is definitely milder. Why is this?
Dammit, you guys have convinced me to go back to Sainsbury’s tomorrow to buy cheese. And nothing but cheese. I’ll gladly suffer my college cafeteria fare if it means I can spare the cash for cheese.
The sacrifices one must make…
I’ve never been to the UK, so I can’t say… Virtually all U.S. feta is imported from Greece; is that the case in the U.K. as well?
FETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETA
FETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETA
FETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETA
FETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETAFETA
In case it isn’t clear- I have strong feelings about cheese.
I would just like to say GROSS! to the previous bracket. Gross Brie and Gross Feta.
BLECK BLECK BLECK BLECK!
(I have feelings about the Gouda, I can’t help it)
I’m going to need feta to win this whole thing, ok? I could just eat giant blocks of it.
*high five*
I could do in a giant block of feta and an entire jar of olives at this very moment.
I have actually done this. 1 lb blocks of feta in brine were on sale at Whole Foods last year for really cheap… it was gone in two days. :(
Catering blocks of feta are your friend.
Oh, me too. However, people always seem to cringe when I pop huge bites of straight feta into my mouth. What’s wrong with them?!
And now I’m craving feta. Seasoned feta. Pounds of it.
I think I may have missed the last vote. Gouda, I apologize for not having your back on that one. I’m glad Fontina got shut down because I’m still mad at it over Manchego.
I’m going with PR over Feta because of this rationalization: Feta is good on MOST pasta, PR is good on ALL pasta.
PR is good on ERRYTHING, Feta is good on lots of things. Really, would the world be more bereft without feta than without parmigiano? No contest!
That was a tough one, but this was my reasoning for choosing PR over feta.
Tough though …
Can I just note how sadface watching your glorious delicious deliberation is making me? I finally had to come to the truth that some of my funky GI issues come from Lactose Intolerance a month  and a half ago, and I miss Cheese. I miss ALL of these cheeses.
Have lots of delicious fun for me okay?
I’m sure cheese misses you too!
AS a friend says, It was a codependant relationship.
*covers ears and nose to block out cheese’s siren song*
Not sure if this will work for you, but a lot of hard cheeses have less lactose in them than the soft ones, so you may be able to enjoy some cheese in moderation.
Or just buy shares in Lactaid, I very nearly did.
Why, whyyyyyy. I think feta was my first real cheese love, in a delectable pumpkin and chickpea salad. But parmigiano is something that I just cannot do with out.
Gawd, now youll be asking me to choose between vodka and wine. I WON’T DO IT.
VODKA. PARMIGIANO. EASY CHOICES, MY FRIEND, EASY CHOICES.
More like WINE. Parmigiano. WINE 4EVER.
(We need a Booze Bracket next.)
YES, THIS! BOOZE BRACKET, PLEASE!
Thirded! Motion passed!
That would be epic!
Booze bracket is genius.
Hmm… interesting! I wanted to do an ice cream bracket in the summer, but maybe y’all should propose booze for spring!
Next up is Middlemarch Madness, it starts next month, and 14k is doing ice cream in June or July. If we made it a little bracket, like this one, with 32 original contenders, we could squeeze it in between MM and ice cream. If we do a booze bracket, I’m totally getting some sponsors. Booze ads pay the folding kind of money.
Narrowing it down to 32 contenders would be a real challenge, but it’s a challenge I’m prepared to take on. With lots of research.
I’ll try to source some poitÃn and send it to you. For research purposes.
Oh my God. You’ll be my best friend ever.
(I took an Irish film & lit class and we watched a movie called PoitÃn and it was entirely in the Irish language and it was so dark and depressing and if I learned one thing in that class it’s that Irish people are the champions of dark/gallows humor. So my background explains so much about me, etc.)
So much so. Have you ever watched “A Film With Me In It?”. Blackest Irish humour I have come across. Of course it’s a Dylan Moran film….
They made him tone it down for Black Books, I’m sure… also In Bruges. And The Guard, apparently, though I haven’t seen that one yet.
In Bruges is now my traditional Christmas movie, if that gives any indication of my sensibilities.
The Butcher Boy is another one I like.
caitlinface: it won’t let me reply to you below, but yes, In Bruges = excellent Christmas film. I was just thinking about The Butcher Boy  today! Not sure if you would’ve read Martin McDonagh’s or Patrick McCabe’s plays in your class, but also worth allok.
Haha. Possibly yes:) I really liked poitÃn the first time I tried it but then I was alcohol-ignorant, and the next time it nearly took the mouth off me.
If you want to do this, the easiest way to narrow down is to start with a huge list of EVERYTHING. Then categorize them into families (your corn-based, cane-based, clears, ryes, liqueurs, etc., etc.). Cut out redundencies. Make sure every broad group is more or less evenly represented. Don’t bother with anything too specific (i.e. vodka is it–no potato v. wheat v. rye, no flavors, just… vodka. With wines, you have to think in terms of sweet red, sweet white, rose, champagne, dry red, dry white–no cabernet v. shiraz v. chenin blanc). You should be able to get a decent 32 bracket that way; that’s how I did the cheese, and the ice cream is also going to be 32. Ask around for people’s favorite broad groups of booze, that ensures that you don’t miss anything too big!
Ultimately though, as sad as I am to lose feta, I simply cannot imagine my food consumption devoid of parmigiano. It makes almost everything so much better… and big chunks of fresh, electric sharpness all on its own… and really, what is life without parmigiano? UNLIVEABLE, THAT’S WHAT.
BOOOOOOOOO Â FETA 4-EVER. Â U R SO DUMB!! Â (That’s how we handle debate on the internet, right?)
Maybe elsewhere, but here we use poetry and beauty and gifs. See Pam’s comment thread from Day 7 to see what it *should* look like ;)
I knew I loved it here for a reason. Â And so, a bad haiku:
Feta is awesome.
Do not argue with the facts.
P-R is boring.
I like your poem!
Regrettably, you are wrong:
Parmigiano rocks.
I’m here to speak on behalf of Havarti because of its exceptional fondue qualities. Because fondue, y’all.
EDITED to correct spelling because my creative writing major tendencies won’t allow for misspellings of glorious cheeses.
I will second this. Also I have basically only ever had asiago on bagels, and I’m not a fan.
That’s not even real Asiago! The stuff needs to be eaten in chunks, alone, savored… and Havarti is boring!
COSIGNED! Havarti is pretty much butter. I mean, it’s delicious but Asiago is far more complex and lovely. Plus, Asiago also can be purchased fresh which is softer and less salty so you can get the best of both worlds from this cheese.
I have yet to have fresh Asiago–I just worship the aged stuff so much…
You should try it! It’s totally more interesting and nuanced aged but the fresh stuff is really nice melted on baguette. It melts beautifully.
This would be why I love it so. ;)
Havarti might very well be my very favourite cheese.
Aaaand now I want ALL the havarti!
Just imagine fondue made with dry white wine, havarti, and dill. You’ll never go back.
Oh yeah, I’d RUN back, screaming for the hills… dill is definitely an acquired taste!
I don’t think I’ve ever had havarti and I love asiago on caesar salads, so that was easy. Parmesan cheese is my OTP.
I didn’t think it would be possible to go through life without having experienced havarti!
But you gotta go with what you know. :)
TEAM BRIE STUNTIN’ ON THEM HOES!
/moonwalks, cabbage patch, butterfly etc
Every time you vote for Brie over Gouda, a puppy cries.
Well somebody better get those puppies some Kleenex! Kittens everywhere, rejoice!!
Today I’m team Asiago/Feta.
Also… I voted this post that it made me feel smarter, because I voted Brie.
Finally we’re on the same side. Let’s combine our powers for good. First, the asiago/feta, then THE WORLD!
I’m down! Greek salads for everyone!!
PAH! A pox on you and your family! Gouda lives!!
Also, Parmigiano is far more necessary to a happy life than Feta could ever hope to be. When I make spanikopita (a frequent occurence, I live in a Greek nabe) I can replace half the feta with tofu and salt with NO CHANGE IN TASTE. FETA IS EMINENTLY REPLACEABLE.
BAH! I’m a rubber and you’re sperm glue and whatever pox you spread goes back to you!!
Feta is fantastic. Have you ever had feta on Pizza? I can easily replace  parmigiano with ramano! At half the price!
I like tofu, but why replace the decadence of cheese with something that’s gonna make you fart? Oh yeah, I know. Cuz if you’re not on team Feta, you must be full of noxious gas!
I’ve had tons of feta, and while it’s great, it’s no Parmigiano! I didn’t even *like* feta until I was in my mid-20s, too damn salty–so much so that I only tasted salt, not cheese, and still only like feta in small quantities and mixed with other stuff. And Romano? FEH. FEH ON ROMANO. It has no bite! No depth! No complexity and vibrance! It is in no way at the level of Parmigiano!
YOU ARE A NOXIOUS GAS… Actually, brief seriousness, I started doing that because I’m a vegetarian and need protein anywhere I can get it and feta’s so salty anyway this would cut it. It works phenomenally well–the spanikopita becomes an actual meal instead of an appetizer!
Ok, I’m Team Gouda but this made me laugh uncontrollably in my cubicle.
Asiago and feta–no contest!!!
That was exactly my vote!
NOOOOO!! NOT PARMIGIANO AND FETA!!! WHAT TO DO?!?!?!
Ok feta: delicious on salads and in peppers and fun to say.
Parmesan; a must on nearly all past dishes, tasty on it’s own.
NO NO NO rationalizing this is not helping!
*shuffles to corner*
It’s maddening, isn’t it?
a truly cruel form of torture
HOW DID GOUDA LOSE?
PEOPLE ARE MAD, MAD I TELL YOU.
If by mad, you mean “intelligent, beautiful and capable of making good decisions,” you are correct.
No, no, I meant witless worthless wastrels. An easy mistake to make, I’m sure.
SUCK IT, TEAM GOUDA!
*fancy, complicated, pre-arraigned Brie high five*
*secret, elaborate, choreographed Brie ass-shaking dance.*