In case you haven’t turned on a television or computer or stepped out of your house for the past couple of weeks, I have a timely public service announcement for you: tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. That’s right… the holiday with all the chocolate and hearts and little naked babies shooting people with arrows. Oh no! Did you forget to do something special for your Significant Other and/or cat?
If that’s the case, I wouldn’t recommend you try this: it’s a blend of chipped beef, peanuts, grated cheese, mayonnaise, chili sauce, and pimentos. But it’s on a cute little heart shaped piece of bread so that makes it romantic somehow.
I can’t comprehend this recipe. First of all, the “peanut butter” in the title is a misnomer. The closest this recipe comes to peanut butter is an unpleasant combination of crushed peanuts and mayonnaise. Second of all, how the hell did anyone even think to combine the ingredients in this recipe? I can understand beef and cheese, but not beef and peanuts, or peanuts and cheese, or any of these things with chili sauce and pimentos. Third of all, I wonder about the heart shaped piece of white bread. Is it supposed to make it these items(I struggle to call this “food”) look sweet and romantic? Because eating this certainly didn’t put me in the mood for romance. My husband refused to touch the Beef-Peanut-Cheese Hearts with a ten-foot pole, so I was stuck eating the whole batch. NOT. ROMANTIC.
In closing, I think I have scientifically proved that making something heart-shaped does not automatically produce magical feelings of love in human beings. I know this discovery will come as a terrible shock to greeting card companies.
Chipped Beef-Peanut Butter-Cheese Hearts
1 4-oz package chipped beef
¼ cup finely ground peanuts
¼ cup finely grated American cheese
2 tablespoons finely ground pimiento
¼ cup chili sauce
3 tablespoons mayonnaise
Thin-sliced white bread
Stuffed green olive slices
Pour 2 cups boiling water over chipped beef; let stand 5 minutes and drain. Put beef through food chopper, using fine blade. Combine beef, peanuts, cheese, pimiento, chili sauce, and mayonnaise. Cut bread with heart-shaped cookie-cutter; spread with mixture. Place olive slice in one corner.
The recipe featured in this post is from the Mary Margaret McBride Encyclopedia of Cooking, published by the Homemakers Research Institute in 1959.