Open Thread

Oh Happy Weekend OT I See Before Me

That’s it for our regularly scheduled weekday posts this week! Slay will be here over the weekend for the writers’ group, and most of the staff people will be around catching up with our old friends and getting to know our new friends. I’m keeping the 5x points party going through Sunday afternoon, so this is a great time to get to the rank you have your eye on! 

To get us in a party mood, here’s a little bit of fun:

By [E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

1,370 replies on “Oh Happy Weekend OT I See Before Me”

The long day that was Friday will be continuing today. :( But thankfully the supervisor that I do not care for is in Toronto all week so at least I can read her emails whenever I want instead of her popping in and laying down the passive agressive at will.

But my stomach is super upset, a friend is going through major life changes and I just want to go home and watch Totoro on the VHS that I just got from my grandma (it’s the same one I used to watch when I was little – some good things come out of having pack-rat family members). And I just want to scroll through the OT and see what everyone is up to and find new fun friends.

And another friend and I were talking about Lent so I’m trying to think of something good to do (I like to support and participate with all my Catholic friends). Friend comes up with really great things each year and I am always so jealous.

I just made my first comment on a Jez article in over a week, and I immediately felt very guilty about it. The article was linked by a friend, and I clicked it out of boredom/curiosity. I hadn’t read anything there in five days, and I really regret clicking on the link and commenting. I didn’t think I would have that reaction, but I did. I think that means I’m officially done there.

When I quit going there I’d also feel guilty about clicking over when my friends linked articles. I didn’t comment because I dumped them right when they redesigned the site and I couldn’t be arsed to figure out how, but I definitely felt guilty about giving them the pageview. It sucks giving up reading something that you were a part of for so long. It feels like withdrawal, and when you fall off the wagon it just feels so weird. We’re glad to have you here, though!

I have to go to a funeral tomorrow (or this morning, technically; ugh, I need to go to bed), and I’m kind of stressing about it. It’s for my great-uncle’s wife. They were married for about 8 years, but I knew her about as well as I know the lady who is always walking her dog when I leave for work. (Actually, I probably know that lady better.) I was only ever in the same room with her maybe four times. She also came into the family under ugly circumstances (she and my great-uncle were having an affair while my beloved great-aunt was dying, and they married a month after she died). My great-uncle is also not a very warm or kind person, but he has been so helpful with my grandfather, who has Alzheimer’s, so most of the family is attending the funeral. I’m just worried the whole thing is going to be really awkward.

On top of that, I’ve only ever been to one funeral– my great-aunt’s, eight years ago, when I was 15– and I don’t remember a thing about it. (I have a habit of repressing bad memories.) What am I expected to do? What do I say to my great-uncle? (Note: I’m an atheist, so no “She’s in a better place,” etc.) Am I supposed to wear black?

Any suggestions/advice would be greatly appreciated.

Wear black. Appropriate response is usually “I’m sorry for your loss.” at least fake sincerity. There will be lots of sitting, and lots of weeping. if it’s a viewing, there will be a line to go up front and pause in front of the casket for a few moments in thought. As long as you don’t laugh or smile when it is your turn, you can think about what you like. Since you aren’t super close, once you’ve done all this/sat through a eulogy, you can make your excuses and go home.

Yikes, I just realized wearing black is going to be tough. I don’t think I own anything black, besides maybe a pair of leggings. I might have to see if I can borrow something from my mom or my sister. I did not even think about this until now. That was stupid.

The viewing was today (yesterday? whatever). My sister and I didn’t go. I just can’t handle those. I went to the viewing of my best friend when I was 11, and it was really traumatizing. I had a total meltdown afterwards, and I had nightmares about it for a long time.

It’s just going to be a very strange experience. She has no living family, so we’re expected to do more/be more involved than we probably would if she had family. But she’s barely more than a stranger to most of us. Two of my great-uncle’s kids never even met her. But she seemed like a nice person, and certainly no one wished her any ill will.

Anyway, thanks for the advice. I’m gonna scrounge around in my closet to see if I can find something to wear.


Aww, it’ll be fine. Good for you for going. Mostly, your job is just to show up and be appropriate. Your presence will mean a lot.

If you want, you can maybe tell your uncle you’ll be keeping him in your thoughts, and/or tell him it was a nice service, because he’ll want to feel his wife was properly honored. You can also tell him you hope he’s holding up all right, or it might be a good opportunity to express appreciation that he’s helping with your grandfather.

But “I’m sorry for your loss” is good exactly because it’s formulaic. It implies that something’s so sad that you don’t have anything else to say.

Thank you for the advice!

Everything went pretty well. My great-uncle was really composed, so we didn’t have to really do any comforting, just offer quiet support.

The ceremony was a little awkward, as we had to participate all the family duties, which I was not expecting, but not too bad. And it was short, thankfully. The burial was a military burial, as she was in the Marine Corps in World War II. So that was pretty cool.

Usually it works well to let the other person talk. Half of the time the conversation won’t be about the deceased. Also, you probably won’t have to worry about excessive face time. The family members closest to the loss tend to get the parade of people who come up for a few minutes, but they’ll really only have long conversations with the people they are actually close to.

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