Editor’s Note: Rude and Not Ginger is graciously hosting the 2012 Oscar liveblog! Everybody jump in and comment, b/c she’s awesome.
Another Editor’s note: R&NG is having trouble getting on the site, because the site is being a giant asshole. I don’t have a TV in my office, so I’d be a really shitty commenter on the Oscars, keep talking among yourselves while I hit some shit with a hammer.
Hey guys! Rude and Not Ginger here. Selena seems to have gotten things working for me just in time. I wasn’t able to actually live blog most of the red carpet, but here’s a summary of what I think so far:
- Octavia Spencer looks beautiful as always.
- Jessica Chastain’s Alexander McQueen gown is my favorite so far; she is STUNNING.
- I love everything about Maya Rudolph, including the lovely color of her dress.
- Rooney Mara is both adorable and a little awkward. Her dress is pretty but the things on her boobs are weird.
- Emma Stone’s dress is a pretty color but the bow thing is odd.
- Viola Davis looks FABULOUS. The dress is a great color and her hair is fantastic. She and her husband are also super cute together.
- Both Tina Fey and Michelle Williams have lovely dresses in pretty colors, but with unnecessary ruffles.
- Christopher Plummer is the greatest.
- Colin Firth is charming as always.
- Jean Dujardin is very handsome, and I like that one of his favorite things about the US is cinnamon rolls.
And now for the awards themselves!
8:31: Time for the obligatory Morgan Freeman introduction and Billy Crystal opening spoof of nominated films.
8:33: BIEBER! Why?
8:34: Princess Bride reference makes up for Bieber.
8:40: I haven’t seen The Descendants yet, but my favorite review of it came from my 87-year-old grandmother, who went to see it because she likes George Clooney: “I couldn’t believe some of the language they used!”, accompanied by disapproving look.
8:48: So do we think Hugo is going to sweep a bunch of technical awards? I haven’t seen it either, but it looks beautiful from the trailer and clips I’ve seen. I was kind of hoping for a Tree of Life cinematography win, though.
8:51: BRET MCKENZIE SIGHTING. You guys, I will be so excited if Bret from Flight of the Conchords wins an Oscar.
9:01: I’m curious about this movie Brad Pitt saw as a little kid.
9:06: I love Sandra Bullock, but I still can’t get over the fact that she won an Oscar. For The freaking Blind Side.
9:10: I will never get used to hearing Christian Bale’s real accent.
9:14: Congratulations to Octavia Spencer! The Help was problematic, to say the least, but she is wonderful.
9:20: This is mildly amusing (Hey Jennifer Coolidge!), but oh boy is this show going to run long.
9:24: I actually do like these mini-interviews with the technical award nominees.
9:25: I was hoping Drive would win that one, just because it was its only nomination. But I don’t know anything about sound editing.
9:28: Yep, Hugo is going to win All The Things.
9:34: Ladies and gentlemen, we have Muppets!
9:40: Christopher Plummer looks like he would really like people to stop reminding everyone that he’s 82. I don’t blame him.
9:44: A very nice speech from the makers of The Undefeated. Including the night’s first f-bomb.
9:46: I didn’t see Kung Fu Panda 2, but I was rooting for it a bit because it was the first major animated film directed solely by a woman (can you believe that?!)
9:57: Emma Stone is quite charming.
10:01: CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER. He’s long overdue, and was absolutely wonderful in Beginners. Great movie. And he always gives kick-ass acceptance speeches.
10:10: And now the part where everyone takes a bathroom break.
10:14: I missed Penelope on the red carpet. Love her dress.
10:17: YES! Man or Muppet! So great. I really wish they had let the Muppets perform. Bret, you’ve got it going on.
10:26: I’m rooting for The Descendants because it was co-written by the guy who plays the dean on Community.
10:28: And Dean Pelton is an Oscar winner! It’s a good night for stars of cult sitcoms.
10:32: Woody Allen. Meh. I enjoyed Midnight in Paris, but I liked Bridesmaids a hell of a lot more.
10:38: Yay for the bridesmaids! All looking lovely, and all hilarious.
10:43: The father-daughter winners were sweet. I always feel bad for not seeing any of the short film nominees.
10:52: I can’t get over the fact that the young woman from The Secret Life of the American Teenager starred in such a well-received film. Good for her, because TSLotAT is TERRIBLE.
10:54: Michel Hazanavicius wins Best Director for The Artist, thanks Uggie the dog.
10:56: Meryl remembered her glasses this time! Her dress is also gorgeous.
11:09 Esperanza Spalding did a great job during the In Memoriam segment. I’m glad you no longer hear the clapping during that one, because that always felt insensitive when one person got more applause than someone else.
11:16: Jean Dujardin has such expressive eyebrows. And Cumberbatch sighting in Oldman’s clip!
11:21: Dujardin wins Best Actor, continues to be handsome and charming. We’re in the home stretch, but these things are definitely going to run over time.
11:24: Crystal really has been painfully unfunny (and frequently offensive).
11:27: Oh, I love Colin Firth’s Mamma Mia references to Meryl Streep.
11:29: Meryl wins! I was really expecting it to go to Viola.
11:35: Say what you will about The Iron Lady, but Meryl gives a damn fine acceptance speech.
11:37: To absolutely no one’s surprise, The Artist wins Best Picture. And Uggie gets to come on stage.
Well that’s it! Thanks for letting me live blog and sorry for the technical difficulties. P-Mag readers are the only people I’d want to talk to about this ridiculousness. Good night!