Open Thread

Persephone Lounge is Open for Business: OT for 2/16

This week, you guys. Seriously. It’s been a tough week at work and I’ve had a fever I just can’t shake for the last few days, but P-Mag has been hopping, and I love it! 

So grab your favorite drink (right now, it’s tea with honey and lemon and a little vanilla for me), get comfy, and tell us what’s happening. If you’re new, don’t be shy. Say hello! If you’re a little overwhelmed with what’s going on here on the site, this post might help a little. Old friends, catch us up on what’s been going on. And please remember to be excellent to each other. That’s how we do around here.

I’m in a Kate Nash mood, so here’s a little something:

By [E] Rachel

I punctuate sentences with Oxford commas, and I punctuate disagreements with changesocks. Proud curmudgeon. Get off my lawn.

606 replies on “Persephone Lounge is Open for Business: OT for 2/16”

So maybe I am being an asshole, but I call one of my kittehs “Little Mittens,” because she is a tuxedo cat and it looks like she has little white mittens on her paws.

Then I realized that if Mitt Romney ever became President (O Hyperlink Monster forbid), some very clever children’s author could make up a book series about Mittens the Cat running for POTUS.  Not to mention, ROmeny’s nickname could be President Mittens who has a catnip addiction.

Oh I think I need to go to bed…



I think they need to shut it down.  yes, i can understand the need to interrogate suspects, but when you’re waterboarding them and torturing them it’s like having the fucking bastille in the u.s.  and some of those guys didn’t even do anything.  shut it down and move them to normal prisons and make them watch sesame street all day or something.

I don’t actually have an argument yet…. I know that I’ll oppose it but I haven’t solidified to what extent or my reasons.

Although, I did notice something interesting when I was researching yesterday.  A friend and I were arguing about whether or not we could define the US as to having been technically founded through terrorism (we decided that, by most dictionaries, yes but not by the US’s legal definition) so I looked up the country’s technical definition.  According to the US Law Code, terrorism is “premeditated, politically motivated violence perpetrated against noncombatant targets by subnational groups or clandestine agents.”

And Dick Cheney has said, “it’s (sic) a vital facility. The people that are there are people we picked up on the battlefield primarily in Afghanistan. They’re terrorists.

Obviously the emphasis was added by me, but it seems to me that Guantanamo Bay houses primarily POWs, not terror suspects. Soldiers on the battlefield fighting enemy soldiers are not terrorists. And since POWs should be protected from certain things under Article III of the Geneva Conventions there are blatant issues before you even delve into morals or the nuances of national and international law.

I know. I feel already like PMag’s at Discourse Level 20. With a few levels in Obsessive Fandom and Journeyman-level Unicorn Fancying.

PMag’s signature move is the Telling; inflicts damage equal to double your level and inflicts the Told condition for seven rounds.

Other signature move is the Oh Snap. When applied to a Told opponent, it inflicts the And Everyone Knows It debuff for the rest of the match.

Hello all our new friends!

P-Mag ran an online book club in our early days and due to popular demand (or something of that nature), we’re bringing it back. I’m currently collecting suggestions to read for our first book — the field is wide open, so if there’s something you want to read, love, or think other people would enjoy, drop them in a reply. I’ll have a post up over the weekend with the possibilities for final consensus.

Since it’s supposed to be a book club recommendation and I’d like to join in, I haven’t read any of the Nursery Crime novels by Jasper fforde yet. They should be at least above average.

I’m so glad there are other Thursday Next fans here! Some of my friends are dismissive of it and its English-major, geeky, time-traveling, pun-y goodness. Bold claim–I will take Thursday Next over Harry Potter, if made to choose. It’s that good.

I’ve heard of the nursery crimes series, but hadn’t checked them out yet, as I got a little worn out on Thursday Next after re-reading them a few times.  So glad they are getting a positive recommendation! Now that I’ve finished the last George R.R. Martin book -which I had to wait months for from my local library- hopefully I can get my hands on more Fforde.

I’m so excited about this! All I’ve been reading lately are animal behaviour books for work so I could use something new on my bookshelf.

If you’re going non fiction, anything by David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs. Although the latter can be rather depressing….but good! But depressing…

So… as an update to my whole “Waaaaaugh sick” thing, I realized that my greatest worry, right now, is that they’re going to tell me that I’m never allowed to wear high heels again.

Not going to lie, that is probably going to be the worst medical news I can get.

It’s good in the fact that “never wearing high heels again” is nowhere near as serious as, like… something fatal (I’ve had two glasses of wine and similes are beyond me right now), but I am pretty sure I will cry if they tell me that.

(For those of you not following along at home: recent diagnosis of spinal arthritis, plus going through the third time I’ve sprained my back. Still need to make an appointment with a rheumatologist. Don’t wanna.)

Oh my goodness, that sounds awful! I’m not a big heel wearer (I’m 5’9 and I find that people treat me strangely when I wear heels), but if it is any comfort at all, they are at least making cute-looking flats these days. I mean, 15 years ago, flats were not hot. These days, there’s a flat out there for everyone.

When do you get the verdict on high heels?

I’m 5’1″ and I feel kind of weird that I’m so attached to heels, like… it’s just ~fashion~ but darn it I really like shoes, and I really like heels. And I know that I don’t need to justify my ~performance of femininity~ to you guys, but I kind of feel torn up about it myself because I was a tomboy for so long and I think I might be having an existential identity crisis. About shoes.

Aaaaaaand just realized that airplane seats are a kind of charged fat-shaming thing and I should put a disclaimer that I fully just posted that to brag about how my short stature makes me conveniently travel-sized and OH GOD I AM OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING AND ITS MOTHER RIGHT NOW.

It is time for bed.

I’m sure this will earn me another log on my fire when I end up in Hell but I don’t really believe in Hell so I’m just going to enjoy this. My youngest daughter’s dad is divorcing his wife! Now, before you go thinking I’m a horrible person for being thrilled about the demise of  someone’s marriage, let me explain. She is an awful human being and he has been miserable for a while but has been staying because of money. She’s one of those jealous, insecure women who pulls a bunch of passive-aggressive bullshit and does that stepmom thing where they take their feelings about the bio mom out on the kid and expect the dad/husband to treat her bio kids better. She has caused a lot of problems and made the co-parenting relationship between my ex and I extremely difficult. (Example: he had to sneak around behind her back and ask me to keep it a secret when he wanted to give me $20 to put towards her birthday party at the skating rink.) So leaving her is not only going to make his own life easier, it’s also better for my daughter and for me. I’m so glad he finally grew a pair!

I have a stepmother who got angry at me for eating Tesco Value ham, because it was supposed to be for the dog.

I wouldn’t have minded if she’d said “we keep that for the dog” or “we use that for the dog”, but no, she said “that ham is for the dog”, and then looked at me witheringly as if eating human ham was some bizarre aberration.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that this exchange characterises our entire relationship. We get along purely because we’re both fantastic at completely meaningless small talk. It’s a strange kind of coalition, but I think we’ve both agreed that we’re never going to be friends.

The upshot of this is that I will never judge step-parent related relations without being a part of them. It can just get too weird to explain. Rock on, sister friend.

Best advice I’ve ever gotten:  Any conference worth doing is worth doing poorly.

You got accepted into the conference, so your data is good.

Winging it will be more interesting for the crowd anyway.

And if you do a really, really shitty job?  Nobody will even notice or care, really.

I suggest making an outline of what you plan to say. As you said, you’ve already done all the research, you know your shit. Just put it together! I usually like using outlines to help me keep track of what I want to talk about. For conferences and other shit that follows a strict time limit, I usually do practice runs and time it…but I’ve also winged it from an outline.

Outlines are awesome. I learned that trick in a public speaking class; it can help you be more animated cause you’re not reading directly off a cue card, but it helps you keep track of what you’re doing, where you are, and what you’re saying next.

Hi, i just joined, but have been lurking for a while. Or since I found Unfuck My Habitat. (Thanks again, POM, my house is still not always clean, but my my attitude toward my filth has definately changed.) I just wanted to say, that living in a rural area, I dont often meet with people that share my views on politics, or feminism, or love of wine, and PM has helped me not to feel so alone.

I know exactly what you mean, though for a different reason; I’m 17, and I tend to find that people are either uninterested in politics in general (i.e. people my age) or underestimate my ability to hold a conversation. Online, people don’t see that first when I talk.

I can totally empathize with the age issue (as well as the underestimation, though I hold most of my conversations online). I’m lucky enough to have managed two or three friends with whom I can hold political conversation, but one of them I can only interest with the latest of questionably GOP quotes so I’m not sure to what extent I can consider that political conversation….

The post today about TV show reunions got me thinking about several old 90’s shows that I used to watch, and I went searching through lists online of shows from that time. I can’t believe how many I’d forgotten! Rescue 911! The Critic! Night Court! That terrible Get Smart reboot! The old Nick and Nite (otherwise known as the background soundtrack to pretty much every sleepover I ever had at that age)!

I am feeling nostalgic, Persephoneers – what are some shows from your childhood/young adulthood (doesn’t have to be 90’s) that you miss? Hell, what are some things you just straight up MISS from that time? I think if I could find my old Skip-It, my life would be complete.

Oh man. Recently someone gave me a whole box full of VHS tapes from the 80’s/early 90’s – I still haven’t quite figured out why – and probably three-fourths of them are Murder She Wrote episodes taped off the TV when they first aired, complete with original commercials. Honestly, it is fun as hell to watch – especially the promos for the nightly news from 1991.

NEVER let anyone put down Murder, She Wrote or Scarecrow and Mrs. King. NEVER.

What the hell did they watch in syndication after school in the 90s? The A-Team was on too early and cartoons were on cable. Step By Step? “He lives in a van, tee hee!” Because dude is HIIIIIIIGH and here as a subtle warning to us all. If a seven-year-old can spot it, it’s not subtle.

I LOVED my Skip-It!

You can make a pale imitation at home with a ball of yarn. I was knitting and realized that if I wrapped it tightly with a bit of a lead, I could make a quick loop and skip-it in the living room until I felt old and sad. Then, the yarn is right there, ready for knitting!

I also miss those locker backpacks that all the cool second-graders had but by the time I was a second-grader they were over. And always having some new Star Trek on the air.

I could make a quick loop and skip-it in the living room until I felt old and sad.

That seriously made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

The only “style” stuff I remember from second grade was Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers and those shoes you could pump. I wanted a pair so badly that I thought I would die if I didn’t get one. I was with my mom in a shopping mall once and saw that a store had Pumps. I immediately threw myself upon her mercy, begging for pumps. She looked at me strangely and said, “Um, I have pumps in my closet at home.” Happily, we raced home and she showed me her pumps – otherwise known as high heels. My heart was broken. Broken, I tells ya.



Um, of course it did. I created that anecdote for the greater good. I mean, who would really do that?

::please don’t see through me::

I vaguely remember those sneakers–for older kids, yeah? You pump on a basketball on the tongue? I hope I’m getting the right joke, because right now that story is sweetly sad and that could change if I have the wrong end of the stick.

Another 90s toy–the American Girls. They’ve retired 3 of the original 4, and they don’t make patterns so you can make your own doll clothes anymore. I’m sitting on my futon vessel in the living room sea with Vice Admiral M. McIntire and Ambassador S. Parkington as NyQuil does…things to me.

Wait, why? Eight-year-olds can’t buy shit. I’m a grown woman sitting two feet from a stuffed penguin I bought with money earned at my grown-up job. Earlier today, I took his picture with my grown-up phone and edited it on my grown-up laptop. Sad? Yes. But it’s also weird. Who cares; it’s paid for and keeps me off the streets.

Go get your Lisa Frank!

For some reason, I still remember most of the jingle for the Skip-It commercial.  Especially the line “and the very best thing of all/is the counter on the ball!”  Now that will be stuck in my head for hours.

I am teaching a couple of undergraduate lab sections this semester, and we are currently doing “Diversity of Life”.  Next week the students are covering Nematodes, and I almost mentioned that one Doug episode where Roger (the bully kid) was telling Doug that he needed to prove himself by going to the pond and catching a nematode.  Then I remembered that my students would have no idea what Doug was.

I miss my Pogs.

I feel like I had every toy ever created in the late 1980s and early 1990s, but the one I never had that I wanted so bad was a Skip-It. Shoot, I want one now; it would make exercising fun!

As for the shows I miss, it’s basically the ones I wrote about in the reunion post, plus Unsolved Mysteries.

What would keep me up was, “well, then what happened?” Did they ever find that guy? Was the probe activated? Was the Fort Worth Wedgie-fying Hitchhiker ever brought to justice?

The “unsolved” part lay just outside my grasp.

“Great, they didn’t find Amelia Earhart or the Zodiac killer. Which means they’re now crouched outside in the bushes we don’t have waiting to pants and then murder me. Thank you, Robert Stack. No, thank youuuuu.”

I’m 27, and Unsolved Mysteries is the reason why I’m afraid of basically everything! ;) One of the first posts I wrote for the site was about UM, and the segment that haunted me for years – it was the story of a hotel in New Mexico filled with ghosts, including this creepy little boy with scratches on his face. I was absolutely terrified of him, probably because the special effects in those days made everything scarier than it should have been, but I still had to watch every week!

Ha! I watched with my parents, too, and I also have no idea why they let me. I think if it truly affected me in a bad way (like I had constant nightmares or something) they would have stopped, but the worst thing that happened was for a long time I was afraid of men with dreadlocks (there was an early segment where some guy with dreadlocks started a fire that killed some people, and it just scared the living daylights out of me).

So I think I’m officially done with Jezebel. And I feel kind of like a crappy person because the final straw wasn’t the Libya article or the weird creepy Valentine’s comics or the increasingly dictatorship-y feeling of the site. It was the pet food article posted today claiming that people who feed their pets quality food are assholes.

My cats are my best friends. They have gotten me through major bouts of depression and are a huge reason why I am still walking around on this earth. If I want to spend a certain amount of my paycheck on food that won’t end up poisoning them over their lives and that will ultimately increase their quality of life, shut the fuck up and let me. No, they aren’t “just cats”, they depend on me to take care of them and I’m going to effing do that to the best of my ability.

I just don’t understand what happened to that site over the past week or so, the change has been so dramatic. And now I’m done with them for good. Yay for Persephone, where I’m not an asshole for feeding my pets good food!



For me, it was realising everything had just continued the same way. That there was the same snark on random celebrities as if nothing had happened. That should be front page all week for a so-called feminist website redacting it’s arseholery. It can be really random.

I completely agree! I have a small apartment and 4 cats so trying to keep their poo’s as unsmelly as possible is a big part of why I feed them good food. I don’t feed them the absolute best because I unfortunately can’t afford that, but they get the non filler, very little carb, high protein stuff. I’ve also started sprinkling probiotics on their food and it has helped so much with stinky poo!

What are these probiotics you speak and where can I find them? I feed my cats excellent, organic, high protein, no-filler food for the same reasons you stated above. They’ve gotten me through terrible times and I’ve already told my mom that they’re as close to grandchildren as she’s ever getting. (side note: I was gone for three weeks and took them to her house. She was so excited to have her ‘grandkitties’ around). They are my family. Damn straight I’m going to do my best to take care of them.

Back to my question though, despite the awesome food I give them, one of them still stinks like crazy. I always thought it was because she is a lazy bum who doesn’t feel the need to cover her poop. But maybe probiotics would help too. The other one is a smelly gasbag, so I’m willing to try something.

I’ve been using NaturVet Enzymes and Probiotics, I got a really good deal on it (some crazy coupon and free shipping or some such deal) but the Amazon price is still decent and I will definitively be buying again when I run out. I’ve seen the same product at my local independent pet shop for roughly the same amount. It lasts awhile too!

One of my clients uses Purina FortiFlora Enzymes for her 15 year old Siamese with chronic pancreaitis/gastritis issues and says that it has really really helped.

It may also be useful to have the vet check out your cats’ anal glands (eesh) as issues with them can cause super stinky poop issues.

Is it weird that I could talk about pet products for hours?

I’m the same way. My dad and I research dog food to give our pups the best quality of life we can.  They’re bird dogs, so they have more protein needs than a bottom of the line food can supply. Plus, no one wants to pick up the nastiness that comes with crap food.

I’ve been checking the site periodically, mainly to see if there’s any acknowledgement of their epic fuck-ups in terms of respecting their commenters. So while I didn’t read that article, I saw the headline. And it pissed me the fuck off. Every time I see this “just (animal)” stuff, it pisses me off. I mean, I’m a dog person who currently owns cats, and I’m also a parent. And I feed anybody for whom I am responsible the best that I can manage in light of my circumstances. I don’t know if maybe the point of the article was mocking the admittedly self-congratulatory tone folks can get when they do so, but based on what you have to say… I’m guessing no. I’m guessing I read that headline right.

The thing that gets me is that, seemingly, a large portion of the Jezebel readership are pet owners/have been pet owners and the higher-ups over there have absolutely no problem alienating even more readers than they already have in the past week or so.

If the article was meant as satire or funny ribbing about people who feed their pets like kings, I wouldn’t have been so upset but the basic gist of the article was ‘well, they are animals and don’t give a crap about what they eat, so why bother feeding them the good stuff when you can get the Made in China-full of poison-recall waiting to happen food for a couple dollars’.

Sadly you did read the headline right :( And let me know if they end up apologizing for being massive twats, because it would be a huge surprise to me if they did.

If it’s supposed to be funny, it should be funny. And the butt of the joke should deserve it, which is what people seem to miss when they’re hiding behind this sort of “edgy” comedy BS. They won’t apologize, I don’t think – for this or anything else. Yuck. You see the theory that they’re just trying to drive away certain types of commenters? I mean, ok, maybe it sounds “paranoid” – but it seems like damn near the only possible explanation at this point! You’re right – lots of readers are/were pet-owners, and they knew it.

Dude, my dogs eat better than I do. One of my ‘huas is off his food lately, so tonight he got hand-fed homemade food. Whatever, they are completely dependent on me for their well-being, so they get the best of everything. Anyone who thinks that’s ridiculous can kiss my ass. And my dogs’ asses.

I’m so glad I don’t read it anymore, because I don’t need that kind of rage in my life.

Yes, my dog gets fancy, quality dog food. Yes, we (my mom helped with most if it) paid several thousand dollars for ear surgery for her shortly after I adopted her. Yes, I put a jacket on her in winter. She gets cold! She has fur? Yes! Her fur is very short and she is very small!

Yes, some people are snobs about how animals are treated. I am proud to be one of them.

I hear you!

3 out of 4 of my cats have health insurance and the other one will get a plan as soon as I can afford it. That may seem insane to some people, especially considering the state of affairs in health coverage for people in the US, but my cats are my family and will get the highest care that I can afford to give them. Plus it makes financial sense, given how absolutely crazy expensive vet care is, particularly for emergencies.



Yeah, that article really pissed me off too. I work at a boutique pet food chain and I know a lot about pet nutrition. My takeaway from that article was that the author either doesn’t care about her pets or she doesn’t actually have any. Or that she likes being awful to well meaning people. Either way, it pissed me off.

I took the opportunity to try and set people straight and give constructive advice to those who seemed receptive. Because I actually care about pets’ health, unlike the author.

I would imagine she doesn’t have any pets. People who do have pets will ‘get’ it.

I mean, I get shit all the time from my friends about how I treat my cats like they are kids/people but it’s all good natured taking the piss and no one goes home feeling judged. That article had the complete opposite tone and was just…blegh.

I am sorry in advance for being tedious. I keep trying to be lighthearted about Jezebel, but the truth is, I am very angry and hurt. I volunteered my time as a moderator and tried to help make it a safe space. In return, they posted terrible things that made me cry and feel terrible. I feel betrayed and also embarrassed that I wasted so much of my time on them.

I sent this email (attached), but I don’t really expect a response. (Hilary is BabyJane.)

Bryn, you aren’t tedious. You’re one of my favorite people: here, there, anywhere I run into you. I spent a HUGE amount of time there for a good two years or so, and when I left, I felt like I was leaving a toxic relationship. It takes a while. We’re glad to have you.

I mean this only as a compliment when I say that having you as a mod over there was like knowing my favourite aunt was watching us comment with compassion, and not that level of snark which goes one past funny. If they don’t really fucking miss you, they’re arseholes. You don’t know how happy I was when I knew you were posting over here.


I’m so sorry. I would be hurt, too. Particularly since you put so much time into being a moderator.

I know it doesn’t have much to do with the actual issue and what happened at the end, but I do think you were a very incredible presence over there. I personally always thought you were rad. :)

I don’t think it’s tedious, Bryn. There’s been some extreme mindfucking going on there, and it seems pretty obvious that a lot of it has been intentional. I don’t think it is wrong to expect that a website ostensibly “for” women would be just a wee bit more sensitive to certain matters, especially since they spent a lot of time decrying the very things they did themselves. And I think your email was good. I hope they at least respect your wish to be deleted.

Firstly, I don’t know you, but hello! Secondly, give yourself a break. This just happened. Let it feel shitty for a while; you’d be suspicious to me if this just rolled off your back.

Recently I was in a similar situation, where something I gave my time to with people I thought I was building something with went pear-shaped. It is so hurtful and infuriating to feel like you’ve wasted time and misread the whole situation. Embarrassment…so true. But part of the risks of doing anything worthwhile.

There’s something to be learned from just about anything. However, that doesn’t mean that you’re at fault (in case you were wondering about that). Fact is, the Jez thing was atrocious. That’s not in question. So as you turn the thing over in your head hundreds of times (if you’re anything like me, thousands), please remember that whatever else can be said about this situation, they were wrong initially and their response was worse.

How I’m trying to handle my situation is to keep in mind that I did what I did because I believed it to be the right course of action, I’m going to learn from this what I can, and I won’t let it make me fearful or bitter. Can you say that you gained something at Jez, that you did what you thought was right? Hold onto that. Don’t let them take away that spirit, because it is a choice.

Finally, if tattoos could be videos, this would be mine:

* Re-reading this, I just want to clarify–I’m not trying to tell you, or anyone, how to feel. I’m trying to give a Knute Rockne, All-American-style speech of encouragement.

Go out there and win one against the Gipper!

You are not being tedious. I appreciate your take on all of this because not only do I value your opinion as a well-respected (now former) member of Jezebel but you also seem to know a bit more about how it works because of your experience and position as a moderator.

I’ve popped over to Groupthink a few times today but it’s just so dead over there. It makes me sad. I even changed my bookmark in my browser so that it links to GT instead of the main page. I did read the Chris Brown article because I wanted to see what Dodai had to say about it but I ended up regretting it.

Like PoM said, it’s like leaving a toxic relationship. You know it’s bad for you, you know it has to end, but it still hurts.

I don’t think you should be embarrassed (though I’m by no means trying to tell you how to feel)–you and the other mods were/are incredibly fair and calm, even when the editorial stance seems to be in total conflict with the commenting policies. (No way could I have been a mod–I would’ve punched my monitor many, many times just in reading the stuff that gets submitted to Trollpatrol.) ;)

There’s not much I can say that others haven’t already. You did so much more than could reasonably have been asked of you.

I want to rant about the apology you deserved as a response to that email. It just seems so fucking obvious to me. Any decent human being, confronted with the reality of the very real pain that they have contributed to, would recognize that necessity. But that is why the Libya post struck the nerve that it did, I think. It became evident that that basic level of compassion and decency could not be expected any more. There are plenty of good people still over there, but they’re not the ones shaping what happens… and when they try to, well… glad you’re here.

Well you are so welcome here. I never got too involved over yonder, but I have certainly been delighted to see and hear from the new faces here, including yours.  Everyone seems to have only the very best to say of you, which makes me excited to hear your thoughts and contributions going forward.

Hey, you’re not being tedious and your hurt feelings are very valid. Those of us who ended up in the mod position did so because we felt a really strong tie to the community and the site. I can just say personally it was very difficult to deal with the level of hurt and betrayal in the comments on the Libya post — because so much of it was justified.

Feel free to hit me up privately if you need to talk. Lots of hugs for you.

Oh man. You guys are all so nice, and I appreciate it so much. Can’t even tell you.

The good thing is: I came over here! I cannot believe the quality of the content. Mr. Donovan had to hear about it all the way home this evening :) but he didn’t mind. Such good writing, on such interesting, varied, and relevant topics…and such a fantastic community, too.

thank you again. *sloppy hugs for all*

You’re not being tedious at all, and I would be surprised, frankly, if you WEREN’T angry and hurt.

I find it shocking Jez is so willing to completely shove aside their mods’ concerns. There’s a reason mods are mods – you didn’t get the job in a raffle. Yet you were wholly banned from the site more or less at the drop of a hat.

Initially, I assumed there had to be more going on behind the scenes – a longer-term falling out, something that had been examined or discussed at least a little. Instead, the sense I get is Jez’s leadership thinks your having volunteered your time and effort was some sort of privilege they gave to you. Voice an objection to the site’s conduct, they pull a you-can’t-leave-me-I’m-leaving-you. That’s bull, and it’s beyond obnoxious.

I’m miffed the follow-up on that sick rape article is still limited to the nasty “clarification” posted a few hours after it was published. I’m waiting for something more, eventually, but I’m not holding my breath.

I don’t think we’ve interacted since I dropped Jez about a year ago, but you were always somebody that struck me as intelligent and funny and just *good*.

I felt heartbroken by Jezebel with the Duke Fuck List.  I mean, really, really heartbroken.  It was silly how heartbroken I felt, because it’s just a website, but it felt like – like a good friend had turned around and done something really shitty, and then when somebody called her out on it, she was like, “god, stop being so sensitive.”  And then spit on me.

And I didn’t volunteer my time there, so I can only imagine that it’s 40 times worse for you.

I’m glad you’re here, though, for purely selfish reasons.  We are better with you around.

Good on you for getting out of there. I was a lurker and rare commenter on Jez for almost 3 years and I always appreciated your contributions. There were always a few names I’d look for in any discussion and yours was definitely on that list. I didn’t hear about the whole blow up until yesterday–mainly because I steered clear of the original article until I heard people talking about it in Groupthink.

My point is this: the idiots who drove you (and scads of others) away are awful and don’t deserve your tears. There are many who will miss you over there and lots who will appreciate you over here. =)

For the picture inspiration writing challenge this week I made a short story and I have to thank SlayBelle and Kortney (who took the photo) for it because, well, it turned out really bloody well and it’s been what I’ve been writing and editing the last few days and just thank you thank you.

I’ve rarely felt as inspired as when I was writing this, and I’ve rarely thought about the structure and the flow of a story as much as with this, so just…lordie, thank you so much.


I think it’s the feeling of shared amateurism, that we’re all just trying to write because we love it and not because it has to be good. It makes you relax and just think about the pictures in your head. And I loved that photo, it was very evocative of lonely togetherness.

Shit, I sound like an art critic. You know what I mean.

She described the world to me as being like the centre of a vacuum cleaner; the sort where there’s a central fabric that the dirt clogs up on. Humans are the dirt, connected to each other in howling wind,  kept without consent. It was a mark of how my mother raised me that I understood this not to be a bad thing; it was merely the case. We are all stuck here; why make it more difficult?

Geez, Alex. Fantastic piece.

Thank you very much! I showed my mum a story of mine once and she said that for someone as obsessed with household appliance metaphors as I am, I should be doing a lot more housework. I replied that I think a lot about housework when I’m trying to avoid doing it.

You will be over the moon when you try some quality loose leaf. Just make sure to steep it properly – too long or too hot and it goes bitter. But if you have to wait awhile until it gets there, I’ll echo Linotte’s recommendation for Tazo – they make excellent bagged tea. The only other bagged green tea I like is by Good Earth.

Good luck with the headache amelioration.

“I got a king sized bed. I don’t know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he’d be comfortable. ‘Oh, you’re a king, you say? Well, you won’t believe what I have in store for you! It’s to your exact specifications! I believe I can set up your old lady, too!'”

Hand to the Lloyd, my nostril cleared a little bit right there.

“Look at all the limes in this goddamn thing! This fuckin’ thing is tropical! Look at the limes, how they float. That’s good news. Next time I’m on a boat and it capsizes, I will reach for a lime. Like I’ll be water-skiing without a life preserver, people will say ‘What the fuck?’ and I will pull out a lime. I’m saved by the buoyancy of citrus.”

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