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The Lack Thereof: Offsetting Ignorance with Love

Two years ago, I got this totally bitchin’ tattoo that I really love. It is a quote of something a drama teacher once said to my class. He was explaining motivation in scenes. From a passionate love scene to talking in a commercial about toothpaste, everyone has some form of motivation for doing what they’re doing. He simplified the various levels of this motivation by saying, “Everything in life happens because of Love or the lack there of.”

(I later learned that “thereof” is a word, and regret nothing.) Wars are started for love of power, money or land, and are defended because of a lack of love for the enemy. A lack of love for jalapeños is motivation to pick them out of your half of the nachos we’re sharing.

This quote is written in black ink on my left side. It’s the only one of my tattoos that I can see in a mirror, or without having to do some kind of wacky yoga position. Anyway, the tattoo is placed in a location I think is a pretty sexy. I’m not about to write an online dating profile, so I’m not gonna get into that.

What I really want to get into, is how applicable I think that quote is, Honestly, I find it more and more applicable as we all get deeper into the shifts and twists of 2012. The more that I glance up and really examine things, the more I notice how those who are severely lacking in love seem to want to take it out on the rest of the world.

For instance, earlier this week, when I was at the Kentucky state capitol building in Frankfort, someone severely lacking in love made their absence more than apparent. While walking with a large group of Black women into the capital building’s cafiteria, a 30-something male in a suit said in the general direction of our group, “Looks like we’ve got a full house! Something must be on sale!”

A younger me would have called this dung beetle’s paradise out, by comparing his penis size to that of a gnat, or sprinkling him heavily with various forms of “fuck,” “motherfucker” and “fuckalope.”

But I didn’t. I told him to stop being rude, rather than elaborating on how he is a racist prick who needs to put his fucking privilege in check. I didn’t even mention how I felt as though he was a potential product of incest, because his mother had to have been the pig his swine of a father was fucking all those years ago, in the privacy of the barn he grew up in.

People like that really piss me off, and rightfully so. I wish that level of intestinal fortitude could be exercised by the people who do have love in their hearts, to take a vehement stand against injustice. People like that used sheet of toilet paper also prove to me that there is a lot of evolution occurring in myself, and other folks who have cultivated their inner peace to a point where they aren’t going on autopilot and curb stomping people for ignorant shit like this.

I mean, in the past week, I’ve heard adult males tell me that it must a privilege to be female because, “There are so many men who want to become women.” I don’t know how to effectively dive face first into exactly how ignorant that statement is without calling that misogynist, transphobic motherfucker something that doesn’t involve a colostomy bag and the rocks banging against each other in his feeble little brain.

There has to be a severe love deficit going around, affecting the minds of my fellow Americans like some sort of ignorant-zombie pandemic. Every time I become acquainted with intelligent, compassionate people, their loving light seems to be offset by this intense, steamroller of boxed-in stupid. Perhaps there is a balance to be found here, but hot damn. Sometimes I worry that the lack of love found in the people who say this ignorant shit to people’s faces is too strong for those of us with love in our hearts to effectively counteract.

By Pam Newman

Black, intelligent and awesome are three adjectives Pam Newman uses to describe herself. Other adjectives that others use to describe her include: bold, compassionate, geeky and rockin'.

Pam has a tattoo that says, "Everything in life is done because of love or the lack there of." She later learned that thereof is a word, and regrets nothing.

10 replies on “The Lack Thereof: Offsetting Ignorance with Love”

Love love love this piece. My personal philosophy stems from love, plain and simple. I view my fellow humans as brothers and sisters and make a conscious effort to engage with them on such a level everyday. It cracks me up that you profess this philosophy and then follow it with the story of the racist prick and all the things you want to say to him. Some people just really don’t want to be loved, no? I think this instance speaks to the difficulty of living and walking with love. I frequently find myself struggling with the love when I’m on the interstate. =)

Much love to you for this piece. I love your tattoo.

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