Open Thread

This Weekend Open Thread Bleeds Red

Is this technically Valentine’s Day weekend? Are you celebrating this weekend? Or are you observing “Cupid is Stupid” instead (I totally stole this phrase from a radio commercial – it works, no)? 

With Valentine’s Day on Tuesday, I’m assuming most revelers will be out this Saturday night. We don’t do much for Valentine’s Day, but I always enjoy a handful of conversation hearts (usually on February 15th, when they are half-price.)

Whether you’re in or out of love – what’s going on with you this weekend?

945 replies on “This Weekend Open Thread Bleeds Red”


I am a former Jezebel commenter, and I recognize some of the names on here. I was a reader of Jezebel even after I stopped commenting, but I just can’t give that site page views anymore. Persephone has the actual content that I wish Jez had, and I’m hoping this is a good community!  I’m a 23 year old office bee. I live with my long term boyfriend and our cat,and enjoy British tv shows (Downton, Sherlock, Torchwood, Dr. Who, any PBS Mystery series), food, fashion, and news.

Currently I’m writing a training manual for my soul sucking job. I hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Hehe ah Captain Jack. I’m not as far into Torchwood as I’d like, although since I’m going through Dr. Who withdrawals I need to catch up on it.

There is a definite need for a training manual (since our department has no up to date written procedures), but I don’t know how much detail to include. I have a feeling the manual will wind up being a book. Also, I am now learning to appreciate outlines, something that I never understood in college.

Hi hi! I just joined today myself– also a former Jez reader, although I could never ace their commenting audition.

I’m also an office bee in her early/mid twenties, although I edit the manuals and add stuff more than write them, although I would like to write more at my position. I also love British television– I’m watching The Hour right now, actually. I also like Downton and am awaiting the second season of Doctor Who from my library. I’ve heard so many good things about Sherlock that I’ll need to give it a try one of these days.  I’m sure I’ll also get to Torchwood.

Anyway, a pleasure to meet you!

I haven’t seen Luther, but the description on Netflix reminded me a bit of Cracker,  which I tried to watch but the episodes were just so hard to get a hold of. Prime Suspect is pretty good too.

The Hour is OK, but I’m in the middle of the third episode. It will likely get better– I really need to learn to get adjusted to slow paced dramas. I feel like the lack of Mad Men in my life has worn my patience.

Thanks for the welcome!

I just finished watching Luther! It is such a good show – pretty dark at times but kept my interest for sure. I’m sad the second season is only four episodes. I know British tv does shorter seasons and most of the time I agree with it (I’d rather have 3 excellent Sherlock’s than 26 episodes of Start Trek with a couple goodies you have to plod to get through) but I want MORE!

Welcome, Magenta!

Hi Magenta!

I guess I started commenting on Jez back in the end of 2008 or so. I commented pretty frequently, but left after the starring system and tons of great commenters got banned. I deactivated my account after the hacking/redesign. I haven’t seen the Hour, I’ll need to check it out. I’m going through some serious Dr. Who withdrawals, wanting some new episodes. I really enjoy Sherlock, it’s fast paced and smart, and I think the writers do a good job of taking the fun of Arthur Conan Doyle’s stories and updating them in a way that makes sense.

Nice to meet you!

Hello!!! I am also a recent Jezebel refugee! So glad to know there’s a place that wants and respects us. I’m really happy to be here.  So, I’m a public high school teacher, and I love absolutely every show mentioned on this thread except for The Hour which I am now running to my Netflix to find.  Really excited to make some new friends. Hurray!

Oh, and can someone please explain to me the points thing? I did see the legend, but I’m not sure what they’re used for. Also, I tried to make a group, as I notice there isn’t one for teachers yet, but all I got was a white box with an OK on it and that was it. Do I need to have a certain number of points to be able to make my group? Thank you for helping me get oriented!

Basically, when you do stuff, you get points.  This weekend, there are 4 times the regular points, so if you do stuff, you get lots!  And if you go to your account, and then points, and then “unlocked badges,” it can show you what level you are.  It’s kind of silly and doesn’t really have a point, except for fun.  And strange competitiveness when people are feeling competitive.  Ahem.  Guilty.

Yep,  you need 500 points to start a group. (I’ll donate some of mine to you as a welcome gift, and in support of starting a teacher group. I used to teach!) Groups and forums are interconnected – each forum topic needs an affiliated group, and only group members can post in or start new topics for the group.

You don’t need any points to join any public group, though.

Here’s a post with a lot of the details on our gadgets.

Well thank you so very much from one teacher to another! I’m still getting used to the set-up over here. It’s a little tricky but I’m determined! I am so touched by everyone’s welcome. I guess I hadn’t noticed how cold things had been getting at Jez. This is lovely!

That is an amazingly wonderful thing.

Even if I can’t get to the vinyards themselves, I do live close enough to the Finger Lakes that I can get tons of local wine. I just can’t get some of my favorite kinds (Earle Estates? It’s a good meadery. Also stopped and got some organic peach wine, because the sign was effective. Would have stopped more, but dwindling budget + bad weather means I only stopped at two places.)

But! In a few weeks, I’m going to have to make that drive again. What a shame.

For Valentine’s Day crazy_dude and I go out to an expensive dinner we would otherwise not be able to afford.

I don’t really mind this “holiday” because our plan is always to go to a good restaurant and stuff our faces. We never do gifts but always get each other funny cards. Same for our anniversary.

I am just waiting for all the sale Valentines candy on Wednesday :) Valentines candy is the second best after Easter candy in my opinion.

I will be spending this weekend working on homework and analyzing some data from some experiments I ran in the lab last week.  On actual V-day I have to meet with a professor who almost made me cry last time we had a meeting.  He is rather arrogant and seems to make it his objective to make grad students feel inferior and not very smart.  Unfortunately I have to deal with him because he is a co-PI on the grant I do research on…. any tips for dealing with tough personalities like that?  I am just hoping to avoid letting myself get close to tears last time when he basically rips apart my ideas and tells me I don’t know anything.


I want the clearance Reese’s hearts. Put those babies in the freezer and NOMMM.

I am quite lucky in my grad program that my professors make a point to not make you feel small. They are self-deprecating (even though some of my professors are internationally known researchers in my field) and are quick to say “I really know nothing,” and I really appreciate that in an academic. Personally, the ones who feel like they’re so fucking brilliant that they can be assholes to other people are the ones who really aren’t that great, anyway.


Ok, for some carthartic bitching, what is the worst thing that has ever happened to you on Valentine’s Day?

I once had a screaming fight with my boyfriend of the time. It was about his up-coming hall of residence ball. I refused to go because we had gone the year before. My own hall of residence ball was on the same night, but I went to his, mostly because it was being held in a mother-fucking castle. However, when we got there, I got abandoned so he could do absinthe shots in the toilet all night. I only knew a couple of people, and then I lost an earring. I spent most of the night wandering around looking for him, having no idea where he had gotten to. When he asked if I wanted to come to this one, I wanted a promise that I would be looked after and get to spend the night with him. He couldn’t promise that so I let him know how hurt I’d been last time and how he’d better sort his shit out.

Looking back now, that really was the beginning of the end of that relationship, what was sad was it dragged on for another 18 months. Ick. Thinking about him gives me the creeps now. Mr. Cesy isn’t the best at balls either, but he’s always been attentive (particularly after I fell down the stairs at one!)

Oh Dear God. That is a horrible Valentine’s Day.

I don’t have any horror stories, but once in high school a guy friend of mine brought me a giant box of chocolates and flowers and wanted me to be his girlfriend. I was like, “Eh, OK.” A week later he thought we should not be dating. Again I was like, “Eh, OK.” He was gay, as it turned out, and I was his last-ditch effort to be straight. He told me later he thought if he couldn’t be in love with someone as wonderful as I was, he knew he wouldn’t be able to be in love with any woman…so sweet! (Esp. since I was a serious dork in high school.) (As I am now.)

That’s awful! What a douche! I had a similar experience once when my bestie/date spent the whole ball in the bathroom and left me standing alone feeling like a loser. After he had been in there for two hours, I finally sent someone in to check on him. Turns out he has Crohn’s Disease and he was having digestion problems. It was an awful night for me but also awful for him; thankfully this was the turning point that led him to the discovery of his disease! I think we promptly went home when he finally emerged. :S

I got fired on valentine’s day 2005.  Completely out of the blue.

Since then, I’ve joked that while most gals get pink flowers on valentine’s day, I only get pink slips.

(Though, honestly, getting fired was the best thing that happened to me – the job was stressful, I was battling lots of inner turmoil, and it was the kick in the pants I needed to turn my life around.)

Oh, that’s terrible… I don’t really have a bad Valentine’s Day story. But, on a related note, I do have a terrible birthday story involving my ex (this was ~5 yrs ago).

For my birthday, he decided that he would rent a space and throw me a big kegger-type party. He wanted to do this despite the fact that I was a low-key person, w/ only a few close friends. Well, I held my tongue since I figured he was at least trying to do something nice/different? & he promised that he and his friends would put on a show (he had previously played in a rock band and some of his other friends made hip-hop music), which I liked and actually seemed to be a big motivation for him.

So the day before the party, we were supposed to go buy some appetizers/etc. But he decides he has to hang out with his friends instead and tries to tell that we don’t need to get food or anything after all. When I told him I didn’t think we should throw a party with a keg and no food, he suggested I go shopping by myself. I refused. He also tells me that I will need to buy my own booze b/c the keg and the rental space were expensive. Oh, and I didn’t drink beer then.

The next night, he gets plastered (this was a common occurrence). He gets so drunk that he can’t perform. I spent most of that night hanging out with my friends/siblings & avoiding him. There were a ton of people there, and I barely knew any of them. I saw a few people that I knew from my ex and they told me they didn’t even realize it was my bday. Later, we notice that the music player belonging to the venue was missing. Then the ex yells at me that I should pay for it since the party was for me. He says the same thing about the keg bucket (but we later find the bucket in his car—he was drunk and didn’t remember). My brother suggests to the ex that I drive home since I didn’t have much to drink. Of course, he takes this as an affront to his manhood and then yells at me “for not trusting him.” I end up crying, leaving w/ a friend & staying the night at her place. Oh, then the next day I got food poisoning.

I once got a dozen roses delivered – courtesy of the long ago boyfriend who went away to the other coast for college – and the note said “Happy Valentine’s Day. PS – I promise I won’t see Allison anymore.”

Needless to say, I didn’t know there was an Allison. But we were so young, I can’t hold it against anyone anymore.

Then there was the time I went to help a friend relocate from SF back to SoCal – we got done with that road trip on Valentine’s Day. I went straight to that boyfriend’s work with some flowers and candy for him, had a little smooch in the parking lot on his break, and then I went back to our home…

…. where I found a bra under the bed. And it wasn’t mine.

Then there was the time when the recent boyfriend guy took me to Big Bear for a romantical weekend… he’d surprised me with roses when I got to his house, and then we went on our adventure….

…. where he told me at some point that he didn’t see himself living in this country much longer. End of discussion, no “wanna go with me” or anything, just: “yeah, I want to go home to Germany soon.”

And then when we had our romantic Valentine dinner, he was outside on the phone with his daughter the entire time. I ate my meal alone.

And when we got back to his place, he asked if I’d mind if he took a couple of the roses he’d given me so he could give them to his daughters. Which was kind of endearing and kind of asinine simultaneously.

The year my husband and I separated, he wanted to do a romantic valentine’s day with me, but his mother refused to watch my stepsons. So he came over and gave me some lovely jewelry. Which he put on the credit card that I paid off. He also showed me the new Movado watch he’d bought for himself for Valentine’s Day.

Wow. No wonder I am jaded. lol!

Since I’m a Hallmark greeting card writer, I don’t have the option of being anti-Valentine’s Day. :)

I think it’s worth pointing out we sell more non-romantic cards (like for friends, kids, and parents) than romantic ones!

Mr. Donovan and I actually have fancy plans this year. We’re going to get dressed up and go out to hear Bach concertos in the new music hall downtown. We usually do something, but this is fancier.

Also, uh…hi, everyone.

It’s so awesome that you are a hallmark card writer. Do you ever slip in a dirty card idea? Do you write dirty cards on the side? (omg start your own business I would buy them)

Also, I recognize you from Jezebel!! Are you still commenting there? Or did this evil shit that just happened put the nail in the coffin? (I only commented like 4 times, but after the stuff that’s happened I’m done forever)

Heh, yeah we don’t do dirty writing, except to make each other laugh in read-throughs. :) The dirtiest card that I remember getting approved was a Star Trek one by my friend Kevin, who writes Star Trek books too…something about Captain Kirk making a very special log entry.

Yes, I’m at Jez all the time actually! It’s a hard habit to break for me, at this point. I’m a mod, and I take pleasure in scootching awful comments away from view. But the last week especially has caused me a lot of grief. :(

Eh, I’m one of those Valentine’s-Day-is-overrated people. But for some reason, Fiance is really intent on celebrating it this year. Then when he found out he had to work late Tuesday night he was actually kind of upset about it. So we’re going out for dinner on Wednesday instead (same restaurant we were planning on for Tuesday, but now with less wait/hassle/crowd!), and I just scored an awesome new (to me) dress at the Salvy Store. Plus by then chocolate will be half price. Day After Valentine’s = way better.

Otherwise, I got a packet of Parasite Pals Valentine’s cards ( – LOVE IT!) for my lady friends. Gross cartoon science for the win!

So after all the horrendous crap that went down at Jezebel, I’ve decided to permanently quit. I was only really ever into it for groupthink, but I think Persephone seems to be building a similar (and safer and more diverse actually) kind of environment in terms of community. But man, I’ve gotten so used to just typing it in the address bar that before I even realize what I’ve done, I’m on the main page. It’s weird actually and makes me question my internet behaviour overall (how automatic is this crap?!). It’s like my fingers are addicted or are controlled by something other than me. Anyone else every experience this with a site?

On a different note, I taught a yoga class this morning (which was great!) and managed to pull of saying “shit”. I love when I can work cuss word into a class. It makes everyone happy.

The class usually starts with some meditation to focus on the breath, but I haven’t experienced anything like chanting. It concentrates on maximizing each asana, and there’s less vinyasa to it. I like to mix it up with Ashtanga and Anasura. I love Bikram. I used to do it in college, but now I don’t live in an area with a Bikram studio.

Sometimes I still type out “Je” and then hit down and return, because that’s what I used to type in and then it would autofill and get me to groupthink.  The cache has long since been cleared and it takes me to a nothing site, but damn, that muscle memory gets you.


I know how you feel re: Jez. I just quit myself recently. I really liked the tone of the writers, and I even defended them during the whole Daily Show/Olivia Munn thing, but recent events on the site (not to mention their weird “audition” system for commenters) just left a bad taste in my mouth. I’m now a Persephone/Hairpin girl.

That’s the thing right? The interaction can be so great. But I’ve noticed over the last three, maybe four months, the tone even in groupthink has shifted. A lot of stuff that used to not be tolerated (ie. numbers) is all over the place. Now I’m not personally affected by that stuff (well not directly anyway) but at the end of the day it seems to really compromise the content. It has moved more and more from being about stuff that I can relate to and more to stuff that I can probably relate to but don’t necessarily want to. But P Mag is the best!

We’ve got plenty of room, bring ’em with you. We don’t have something exactly like Groupthink, but there are forums and we do a nightly open thread through the week. Slaybelle is starting weekend front-page stuff with an upcoming book club and a writers’ group, so there are lots of opportunities to socialize outside of regular comment threads on our articles. We’ve got a great group of core commenters, many of them from Original Flavor Jez, and several of our writers are from the same circles. (I recruit from tumblr.) We disagree with each other, but I think everyone here does a great job of listening to each other, and treating each other like real people, instead of pixels on a screen. That sort of sounds like I’m trying to sell you a timeshare, but we’re glad you’re here, and hope you’ll make yourself at home.

Yeah, I’m breaking the habit- deleted the bookmark & cleared the cache. I never did become a starred commenter over there, but I did enjoy reading a lot of the discussions. Sometimes the hive mind could get to be a bit much, though. The recent story that comes to mind was the whole Paula Deen/diabetes story. Even the Wilford Brimley letter was called body snarking.

Not a particularly romantic weekend here, unless you count lots of herbal tea, painkillers, boxes of tissues and other cold remedies, as being romantic. As for the 14th, I suspect Mr. Juniper will do something for me, going on past years. I can’t say I enjoy the day as it’s an anniversary of something not especially fun. However, I’m trying to get past that and am planning to make super scrummy muffins iced with hearts for Mr. Juniper, as well as getting Juniper Junior to help me make a card.


V-day is on an indefinite hold as I wait to hear back about a campus interview for an academic position….*sound of chewing fingernails*

I should clean my very very dirty house & get some papers graded, but I can’t seem to get out of my pajamas or stop re-watching Season 3 episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race.  And eating Trader Joes Belgian Waffle Butter cookies.  Escandalo!

UfYH can be used for classwork, too. Instead of doing 20 minutes of cleaning followed by a 10-minute break, do a 45/15: 45 minutes of schoolwork, then a 15-minute break. Close all windows that aren’t necessary for your work, and if you’re just writing, close your browser entirely.


Oh, I’m not a student–I’d MUCH rather write the papers!  Alas, I have to grade them. There’s a whole pile of steaming, smelly papers that are staring me down now.

But, yes, you’re right, the UfYH method does work well…until my eyes fall out of my head and my husband’s had enough of “No, no, no more passive voice, dammit!  “I can’t believe this kid STILL does not know how to write a thesis statement!” “If I see one more Pronoun-Antecedent agreement issue, I’m going to open a vein!”    Then it is time for WINE.

On Valentine’s Day, I’ll be too broke to do anything, but after, I plan to buy myself perfume, The State on DVD, and a steak and kidney pie made to order from my nearest British delicacy shop. I also think a trip to the bookstore would be in order.

I’ll be enjoying my relationship with myself.

You would be correct in that. I can’t wait until my after-Valentine’s celebration.

Steak and kidney pie is good, except if you don’t like steak or kidneys.

And I’m sorry to hear about your break-up. Chocolate seems just the right thing. I might try that myself, actually.

My V-day isn’t going to be until Tuesday- we’ve got the time, thanks to me being underemployed and my BF being an elementary school teacher who gets off work at 4pm, haha. We’re gonna grab the train into Toronto and have a very fancy dinner at Le Papillon on Front St. SO EXCITED.

In about 30min I’m going to a baby shower where I will eat my bodyweight in tiny sandwiches and cake! For some reason, I enjoy these kinds of milestone female-only parties a heck of a lot- bridal showers, baby showers and the like.

My boyfriend unexpectedly broke up with me a few days ago. I am not looking forward to Valentine’s Day. But, the one good thing about being unemployed is that I don’t have to be around any people and do the forced cheerfulness thing. However, all my friends are married couples; so they’ll be doing couple-y things.

I may get dressed up and eat the fancy chocolate I’ve been saving since my trip to Europe this summer. It is specialized by region! So I can have a bit of Venezuela, then compare it with Ghana and Java, etc.

Also, I will totally be down for a PMag bookclub!

The last time I went through a breakup, the things that made me feel best were all the things I felt I “couldn’t” do in the relationship – wear ugly fashions that are “unflattering” or whatever, smear my face up with weird makeup, eat noodles directly out of the pot, that kind of thing. It didn’t make the situation much better, but I think it took some of the sting out of it and helped me to see the benefits to not being in a relationship with that particular person.

Definitely eat all the chocolate. I’m sorry you got dumped. It’s such a sucky feeling.

When my current boyfriend broke up with me for like a week (this was years ago), I totally wore leggings every day (he hates them). I still wear leggings, of course, but I don’t sleep in them the way I did when we weren’t together, because they really weird him out for some reason.

Now that I think about it, I should have worn them to his apartment when I went to take back all my stuff. Damn and blast.

I kind of want to do something cute for Valentine’s day, like make a heart shaped pizza at home and watch a movie but my boyfriend is currently (not in the first two years of our relationship, but anyway) in a “Valentine’s Day is stupid” mood so we’ll see how that goes. Might have to guilt him into spending time with me after he kind of shit the pot with my birthday last weekend. Basically didn’t wish me a happy birthday until the afternoon, didn’t ask me if I wanted to do anything, and when we ordered take-out for my “birthday dinner”, insisted on using my credit card.

I’ve never been a big birthday person but I’m still pretty bitter about that one.

As demonstrated here.

My guy is like that too! He didn’t even get me a card for my birthday or our anniversary. He just literally does not celebrate anything. It sucks when you always have to plan your own parties and buy yourself a gift. I have a friend who was given Tiffany’s sunglasses yesterday by her boyfriend! My guy might suggest we gt Thai take-out! Ha! Well, once again I’m just going to plan Valentine’s Day by myself so I bought us tickets to watch Dirty Dancing at an outdoor cinema on the beach. He’s seems to be looking forward to it. I would rather not have to plan everything but at least I get to do something this way. It’s way better than watching TV, so maybe you should just plan something? Or announce that you’re going out to a club with some of your single lady friends–that should get him at least wishing he had plans with you!

While I don’t mind the principle behind Valentine’s day, I object, as many do, to the commercialization and the idea that a woman’s value is inherently connected to her ability to receive chocolate, a ring, flowers etc. from “the perfect guy”. That, and I’m lucky enough to be in a really awesome relationship and our anniversary is at the beginning of February. Two big relationshippy acknowledgments in a month are too pricey for our very limited pocketbooks so we choose to celebrate the anniversary instead. I also look forward to the 15th when I can rot my teeth on discount V-day candy!

Being somewhat exempt from Galentine’s day, my best friend suggested that she and I celebrate “Gayalentine’s Day”, a combination of Galentine’s Day and Gayentine’s Day. The proper ritual for Gayalentine’s Day is voracious consumption of Pringles, Mike Leigh’s entire artistic output, and home-made brownies.

I’m yet to be convinced that it differs significantly from Galentine’s Day.

This weekend I will be making chocolate truffles with a friend. Most of my friends here in the dorms have to present their short thesis topics and research on Tuesday (thank goodness I’m in another program!), so we will give them chocolate on Tuesday once it’s done, and maybe surprise them with pick-me-up pancakes on Monday night. I suppose that makes it less of a Valentine’s Day thing, but eh!

Otherwise, I don’t have much else going on this weekend. I’ve finished all my assessment for the semester and I don’t know what to do with myself any more, hah.

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