What I Watched This Weekend: Shark Tank, Game Change and Big-Ass Mansions

We’re trying a new feature this week! Each day in this time slot, one of our writers will talk about what they watched the night before. It’s like the water cooler at work, only with people you like. Because I try never to ask the writers to do something I wouldn’t be willing to try myself, I’m going first. 

TV and Cocktails With Selena

I picked three completely different things to spend my TV time and column inches on this weekend. I caught the dramatic interpretation of the McCain/Palin campaign, Game Change; the entrepreneurial wonderland Shark Tank; and one of those specials on HGTV where they feature homes worth more money than my entire neighborhood.

Game Change – I haven’t read the book (Game Change: Obama and the Clintons, McCain and Palin, and the Race of a Lifetime), although I’ve read several thoughtful pieces reviewing it. I’ve put it on my to-read list after catching the HBO film.

As I’m kind of shallow, I originally tuned in because the cast features several people of whom I am fond, namely Woody Harrelson, Julianne Moore and Ed Harris. It was a fascinating two hours of television, both because of some serious Emmy-worthy performances and because I’m reading You Are Not So Smart: Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways You’re Deluding Yourself, which has me on heightened alert for confirmation bias. I am not, as it turns out, that smart, and I think the movie confirmed all of my biases. I recommend consuming this with a bowl of lentils and organic soy milk.

Or do the following shot every time you think, “Holy shit, Julianne Moore is even better at being Sarah Palin than Tina Fey.”

Palin in Comparison Cherry Cordial

Pour the following into a shot glass over the back of a teaspoon so the layers don’t blend.

• ½ oz. Cherry brandy
• ½ oz. Creme de Cacao
• 1 oz. Irish cream

Shark Tank – First, I fucking love this show. It’s my dream to take P-Mag in front of the sharks so Kevin can tell me there’s nothing proprietary about our idea and Damon can laugh at our profits.

Second, I would totally swear and blow it all if I did get on Shark Tank. I like this show because they’ve found the best possible group of sharks. It’s gotta be hard to make ridiculously rich people likable in a shit-ass economy, but I enjoy the Shark Tank regulars more than I ever liked the crowd on Project Runway All-Stars Except the Judges and Supporting Celebrities Who Are Terrible And Kenley. On Friday’s episode, we saw dreams achieved and dreams crushed, and it was entertaining from start to finish. I recommend consuming Shark Tank with Sara B’s sausage balls and a Root Beer Float.

Root Beer Float

• 6 oz. cheap-ass beer
• 1 oz. Amaretto
• 1 oz. Kahlua
• 4 oz. cola

Pour over crushed ice in a big-ass mug. Drink with a straw, if you feel like dancing on the table and singing “Gloria” at the top of your lungs, replacing “Mark Cuban” for “Gloria” in the chorus.

Beautiful Homes: Celebrity Estates and Estates That Are Celebrities – This was a late-night Saturday indulgence my DVR thought I might like, and it wasn’t wrong. I can’t image for one moment what someone who lives in a 48 million dollar home’s life might be like, but they have really beautiful furniture. Also, spectacular ceilings and staircases. HGTV has a whole series of shows on homes the likes of you and I will never step foot into, but I never tire of watching what people with more money than God spend it on. I recommend enjoying any of the “HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT BATHROOM COST WHAT?” shows with some of Stephanie’s orgasmic mousse and a Golden Cadillac.

Golden Cadillac

Fun fact: This is rumored to be Elvis’ favorite drink.

Throw the following into a blender with ice:

• 2 oz. milk, half and half or heavy cream
• 1 oz. banana liqueur
• 1 oz. Galliano or vanilla flavored liquor/vodka

Blend until as smooth as a milk shake, serve in a pretty glass over more ice, with a banana slice and mint leaf as garnish.