Open Thread

It’s Friday, I’m in Love With This Open Thread

It’s also Friday the 13th, which, for half-assed superstitious people like myself, means I was sure something shitty was going to happen all day, while being self-aware enough to hate myself for thinking it. 

Regardless, it’s Friday night: superstitious and non-superstitious alike, we should be having fun in this open thread.

(P.S. 3x points all weekend!)

By [E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

207 replies on “It’s Friday, I’m in Love With This Open Thread”

So last July I broke up with a guy I had been seeing for 10 months. And yeah, it wasn’t the best break up, but really very few break ups are easy. Now frankly, I’m still irritated by the last few months of our relationship (which are what led me to breaking up with him in the first place) and I’ve been dealing with the friend fallout that occurred, because apparently I’m Satan’s favorite daughter. And I had thought that it was all over and done with. But some of our mutual friends keep bringing up how I “broke his heart.” And I just want to say “and what about me? He tried to break my spirit and get rid of me!” But I never can. I just nod meekly and change the subject. I’m so sick of being the bad guy for ending a noxious relationship, but I can’t seem to make my friends drop it or at least realize that it takes two people to ruin a relationship, not just one. Nothing is ever completely one-sided.

Euch. You not being happy is more than enough reason to get out of a relationship. You do not owe anyone a relationship that you don’t want just to keep them happy. Maybe it sucked for him, but you are not a prop there to keep him happy. If you didn’t want to be in the relationship (for whatever reason) leaving was the right thing to do. And really is this guy Gandhi that they have such a hard time believing he had his own fair share of shortcomings that lead to the break up? But I know that ‘splaining things to friends can get difficult because of the overwhelming “I don’t want to start shit,” self censor. I am a major conflict avoider myself when people I know and see on a regular basis are involved, and have bit my tongue on more than a few occasions. But for what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing in getting out.

Thanks, I really need the validation this morning. It’s been really bugging me for the past few weeks, and then I was actually confronted about it by some of our mutual friends this weekend. Luckily, I was slightly tipsy so I actually gave them a “fuck off. you don’t even know” stare, which I’m now sort of regretting because conflict. Blegh. I just wish they’d leave it alone.

Sorry I’m a bit whiny. :/

No need to apologize. Shitty situations mean you get a pass for whining.

I have a very low sympathy threshold for the “broken heart” card. Yes it can suck if someone you like breaks it off with you, but your sadness is not a reason for them to return to a relationship they wanted out of. Sometimes relationships just go bad. That’s all there is to it. There doesn’t need to be a villain in this scenario, despite what popular fiction has told us. If mutual friends can’t see that he did something wrong, at least you’d think that they could see that you didn’t do anything wrong either, and that eight months down the road everyone should just move on.

And then there is the fact that my best friend had a guy who was all but stalking her for a while after she went to dinner with him once and then said, “Let’s just be friends.” She was forever being pressured to be nice to him by some mutual friends. When she did but her foot down about how they were not in a relationship, had never been in a relationship, and she did not want to see him any more there was much bawwwing over “broken hearts.” It kinda made me put my foot down about this foolishness. Because those people might have been my friends, but she was my best friend, and for her I will start shit.

Gah. The thing is.. I actually let him break up with me. Granted I led him by the nose to get him to do it, but I figured it would make life easier for him (and me by extension). But apparently, I’m just some huge heart breaking bitch because I was honest. The weird part is, only our mutual friends have done this. The rest of our class (we’re in medical school together) keeps high-fiving me (or an equivalent) for no longer dating him. It’s weird. I’ve never had to deal with such dichotomy with my dating life before.

I hope they eventually left your friend alone. People get so pushy when they want you to do something that isn’t in your own agenda.

Eventually he wasn’t able to hide the creepy anymore, and they all kinda quit being friends with him. This was may have brought on a round of “SEEEEE. What did we tell you?” But yea, people need to learn that relationships are not romantic dramas on the tv. Just because you are friends with two people does not mean that they are compatible with each other and should date. So all the sympathies you want from me about this, because I have seen first hand how bad it can suck.

Maybe these friends were more enamored with the idea of the relationship rather that the reality of it? You know how it is: you want Ross and Rachel to be together so much! It would be so perfect and romantic! It’s comfy!

But at the end of the day, you’re the one in the trenches and it sounds like you made the right call for you. Opilex really said it. You’re not here to make some dude or a group of friends happy. Your happiness matters. A relationship is made up of two entities, not one.

Paper due tomorrow afternoon. 1600-1800 words. Two classes in the morning. I have a thesis, all of the research done, all supporting pictures found (architecture paper), and part of a body paragraph. It’s the initial draft, not seen by the instructor, but read by “writing fellows” who aren’t in the class and rarely give me any sort of useful advice. It’s 2:20am now. Think I can get away with getting up early (before 10am class), doing a bit more writing, and turn in a partial paper (with pictures) and the outline/research? I think maybe. We shall see. Tired now. Bedtime?

Tumblr social justice blogs are like this really deep thicket of wtfery. My friend linked me to a giant thread-battle between a whole bunch of radical feminists and a whole bunch of trans people/allies and oh my god, it just…I have sympathy for literally nobody after an hour of that shit.

That said, though, it did make me think twice about how I use the words “sex” and “gender”. 90% of these arguments were spawned by one or the other side using a different definition of one of them or conflating them. Same with “transsexual” and “transgender”.

I just, beh. BEH.

Oh, great, was this one of those “we’re all feminists! But we’re going to tell you at least one of these things: 1) you’re splitting our cause by talking about your issues, 2) we’re going to tell you what your issues are, or 3) we’re going to tell you what your experience is”?

All three, from both sides. I just feel like there’s a point where your incoherent rage needs to go into a banner or a campaign or something tangible, because you’re just shouting into an unsympathetic void instead of shouting at people, where they need to be shouted at, in their fucking faces.

Also I just read this and may well have cried. I have ridiculous privilege as an LGBT person living in a liberal area and there were still parts of it I could relate to so strongly;

Edit: That in no way means I completely agree with it, but….damn. It strikes a really uncomfortable part of me.

Use it to make rice and peas (; more detailed recipe: You can use dried beans too, (soaked and whatever it is you do to dried beans) that’s what my mom does and she gets very snooty about it.
You don’t super have to use the pepper, but whatever you do, don’t cut it or puncture it or touch it or leave it in too long or look at it sideways or it will burst and murder your tongue. Unless you like peppery things, but I am a general infant when it comes to those. Ginger is also optional.


The week before last my boss was on vacation, last week my coworker was out so both weeks I picked up about 15 extra hours and my days off were all f’ed up. I get to go on the longest vacation ever starting Tuesday. I have to work 12:30-5 today and 9-4:30 tomorrow and I’m honestly not sure if I’m going to make it without saying something nasty to a customer.



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