In becoming more positive about ourselves, we’ve tackled hearing nice things about ourselves and getting ourselves moving. This week, we’re going to tackle the hardest type of positivity to master for many people: Body Positivity. TRIGGER WARNING for discussion of body image, body dysmorphic disorder, and eating disorders.
I’m not going to lie: I’ve kind of been dreading writing about this topic. It just feels like it’s something so much larger than I’m able to write about. I’ll do my best, but definitely check out the links at the end of the article for further (and more intelligent) reading.
You may think that body negativity only affects you when you look in the mirror, but having a negative view of yourself is something that you carry around all the time. Having a negative view of your body or your appearance has a trickle-down effect. If you feel your shape is frumpy, you try to cover it up rather than dressing to flatter your curves. If you hate your hair, you won’t bother styling it or even drying it some mornings. The next time you look in the mirror, the person looking back confirms what you feel about yourself and so propels the negativity in a vicious circle. Even without looking at cases of diagnosed body dysmorphic disorder, some studies have shown that women in particular have a distorted view of their own bodies (which, of course, can then lead to BDD and eating disorders in severe cases). In a 2010 study, researchers found that the brains of the participants warped the size of their hands in their own mind, and researchers stated that the same warped view could be extrapolated to the rest of the body. In other words, body positivity is something we need to actively work for since our brains are naturally working against us.
So how do we do it?
- First, we have to be aware of the tricks that our mind plays on us and know that what we see in the mirror isn’t necessarily how we appear, especially to others. Consider your reflection like a rumor on Perez Hilton: take it with a massive grain of salt.
- Next, we need to listen to our bodies. Let them tell us what they need and what they’re good at.
- Finally, we embrace what is strong about our bodies and develop it. My big thighs (my own most hated body part) have big muscles in them. I work to make those muscles strong so they carry me through the day, through my yoga practice, through a 5K.
This is a hard one, but as Golda Poretsky hypothesizes in a recent article, “body acceptance [is] a major peace movement of our century.” I’m inclined to agree with her, so come be a revolutionary with us, hmm?
Like last week, I’m only touching on a small section of a very large topic, so check out the other talented Persephone Writers for more on Body Positivity:
Meghan talked about Body Positivity in The Great Orgasm Challenge recently.
Claire talks about the book “Read My Hips” for some further body positivity reading.
All of Golda’s articles are worth a read, but I especially like “You Have My Permission to Love and Accept Your Body, Just As It Is, Right This Minute“and “The Real Deal on Body Acceptance.”
This Week’s Challenge
Take at least one thing you don’t like about your body and re-frame it. Find a reason to love it. Your big feet keep you standing and give you a good foundation. Your curly or straight hair is something people covet so much, they pay salons to make their hair curlier or straighter. Just one thing. Build up to more.
This Week’s Mantra
Love Yourself. Simple and sweet. Love everything about yourself.
If you want a reminder of your mantra for the next week, feel free to click the image above to download the full-size version suitable for desktop wallpapers, printing, or framing.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional or mental health expert, and there are problems that positivity cannot overcome, so please do not take this advice in lieu of a doctor’s care.
Not all challenges will be relevant to everyone, so I welcome you to come and go as you please and take from each challenge what works for you! Please make sure to share your thoughts in the comments!
Sources:
“Mirror, Mirror,” Kate Fox for the Social Issues Research Centre
“Why Women Think They Are Fat,” The Telegraph (UK)
11 replies on “Positivity Challenge Week 13: Body Positivity”
This is appropriately timed. Â I was clothing shopping after work today and man, is that depressing. Â I’m generally happy with my body but clothing shopping makes me hate everything.
I’m the same way. Nothing makes me feel worse about my body than trying on ten shirts and not one of them fitting me correctly.
It’s silly, because we should be blaming the clothes…but for some reason that trigger goes off and you feel like you’re “wrong” or something.
Combined with the fact I feel like designers are playing a huge joke on us this season, the whole trip was majorly unproductive. Â I’m going to resist the urge to recount everything I found wrong with my body in the past 3 hours. Â And yes, we should be blaming the clothes.
I feel you there. I’m sorry your experience was sucky, and I am positive that there is nothing wrong with you or your body!
Definitely blaming the clothes is the right way to go. And vanity sizing makes it even worse, although I will say that I rejoiced a little when I had to keep going down in Ann Taylor sizes to find a dress that fit right. But the whole system is bullshit.
I had my mom teach me to sew just because I was so frustrated with no clothes fitting my body ever.
This has actually been my latest self-improvement movement. I’m definitely going to try to find something positive about my most hated feature. It’ll help keep me from owing money to my “body negativity” jar.
I like the concept of a body negativity jar!
This is how I came to love my hair; while my hair is not as straight as it used to be, it used to be completely and utterly straight. Like, flattening-iron straight, except it was naturally that way. And as a kid, I hated it. I always wanted curly hair. Or at least wavy hair.
But then when hair-straightening started getting really popular, I realized that the hair I hated was the hair so many other people wanted. So, I decided to appreciate it for what it was and to stop wanting it to be different.
I should keep this in mind when I think about other aspects of my body.
And here’s the opposite with extreme curls. I now know how much these curls are a part of how I look at myself and that they’re a business card for my character, but all the years I tied them back so that people wouldn’t notice them ..
About clothes: what Silverwane says. More and more often (when I’m in the right state of mind and not at the end of the day) I ‘blame’ the clothes for not fitting, instead of my body for not curving along the necessary way.
I think every girl has spent a part of their childhood wishing their hair was the opposite of what it was. In a way, I kind of see it as our first opportunity to reframe our body positivity when we have that click moment of “Hey… other people want what I have… awesome!” We just have to remember to apply that to other areas, too.