Craaaaavings And Lure Of The Forbidden

Today, I ordered a Frappuccino and didn’t really like it. If you think that’s weird, trust me, I understand. There was a time, about 6 or 7 years ago, when I loved Frappuccinos.

I thought they were wonderful. I couldn’t wait to sneak out of the office for a little coffee break. I was dieting at the time, so I would assiduously save Weight Watchers’ points so that I could get a coffee Frappuccino (if I had the points) or a lite one (if I had less points and didn’t mind the sucralose headache that I would inevitably get). They were a special treat, an airy delight, a moment of sweetness in an otherwise dull and stressful day.

I didn’t have them every day but I craved them every day. The days when I didn’t have the points or the time to pick one up felt a little more dreary, a little less special.

frappuccino from starbucks
Delicious or "eh?" (Image courtesy of

If you had told me back then that I could never have a Frappuccino again, I would be seriously upset. If I heard that now, I wouldn’t care at all.

So what’s changed since then? Basically, I’ve gone through I fundamental change in my relationship to food.

The weird thing is that I now have no restrictions at all. I don’t count points or calories or fat. If I really wanted a Frappuccino every day, I could technically have it. The amazing thing is that by letting go of the restrictions, I now have the clarity to realize that I don’t want a Frappuccino every day. In fact, over the last few years, I seem to really crave one once a year or so. It seems like I crave it mostly as a check-in that, yes, I still don’t think they’re that great. I still want certain foods, but my choices seem much more connected to what my body really needs. I rarely get a craving that has the feeling of desperation that I used to experience.

So how might this work for you? How can you let go of cravings that don’t quite feel right and get clarity on the food that your body is really asking for?

The truth is, you have to stop restricting. You have to stop telling yourself that you can’t have certain things and can have other things. This can be extremely scary, but also extremely healing. When you have lots of cravings for foods that you don’t think you should eat or want to eat, you feel like your body is betraying you. You feel like you can’t trust your body. But it’s actually the opposite, you can absolutely trust your body, but you have to give it full rein. You have to say to yourself, “I can eat whatever I want, so what do I want?”

You can’t stop cravings by ignoring them or getting mad at them or your body. Instead, you have to treasure your body’s wisdom and allow it to tell you what you need and want. That is the only way to stop the craaaaaavings and instead connect with what your body really craves.

So this week, try experimenting with letting go of diet rules and connecting in with your body instead. Let me know how it goes in the comments section below. And if you’re ready to let go of cravings for good, get the support you need by signing up for a free Body Love Breakthrough Session with me.

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. Go to to get her NEW free gift – Golda’s Top 5 Tips For Consistently Feeling Great In Your Body!

7 replies on “Craaaaavings And Lure Of The Forbidden”

It’s that way with everything you deem forbidden. I was trying to save money last summer, and tightened my budget more than usual, which meant that I wasn’t baking as much as usual. I found myself salivating over bakery cupcakes, which I know I detest. (I cannot stand the richness of the cake part– and those are really rich ones– and I absolutely hate frosting of any kind)

Similarly, when I’m trying not to go on facebook so much, I end up spending way more time on facebook (or wondering when I shall be on facebook, or thinking about it).

Seriously. I have never wanted a carmel apple so badly as I did when I had braces. It was the first thing I ate when I got them off. I mean I like carmel apples, but not enough to want like that. Usually I have maybe one a year in the fall when all the orchards are selling cider and other apple goodies.

love this concept, I’ve been slowly gaining weight over the past few years and in the few months where I’ve been trying to lose it I find I’m starting to think about food in an extremely unhealthy way. Trying to nip the negative associations in the bud while still improving my eating and managing to lose some weight and feel attractive again. It’s a struggle but this article was extremely well timed :)

Rings true. Back when I had trouble with disordered eating (as in, was writing down every bite I ate, and eating half an apple or half a banana at a time because the entire one would be too much calories, etc.), my beverage of choice was Baileys. And when I got better, it suddenly lost all appeal. I had one at a hotel bar earlier this spring, after idk how many years, because I really wanted some dessert but everything was already closed, and it tasted completely meh. I don’t care if that was the last time I ever touched the stuff.

Since giving up restricting myself, I find that a lot of things now taste “too sweet” to me. My favourite dessert nowadays is a glass of cold almond milk.

This was one of the first things I learned when I started looking into HAES that really resonated with me: the idea of the forbidden food. We’re a lot more likely to fixate on it if it is “forbidden.” I know that I have a really hard time turning down any sort of sweets, even if I know my body REALLY doesn’t want it, because for so long sweets were always held at arm’s length.

The minute I stopped thinking of sweets and fatty things as forbidden, I started developing the ability to say no to sweets.

It’s funny how that works.

I do the same thing with pastries. I used to bake all the time, or stop at the bakery on the way home, or for a weekend breakfast. But I actually ended up cutting back on them because of disposable income, or the lack thereof. Plus, I started running with a friend of mine on weekend mornings and I absolutely felt like crap if I started or ended a run with a super sweet, heavy pastry. Now it’s no big deal- they’re sometimes a nice treat if my BF brings them home on a Saturday morning, but I’m still more likely to just have half a bearclaw, then something a little more substantial and healthy that my body actually wants.

And yet again, PMag’s timing is impeccable. This morning I stepped onto the scales (yes, I know) and was a bit unpleasantly surprised. My first reaction was “HO! STOP! We’re not going to eat anything that isn’t necessary any more!”
It’s the biggest trap I could step in. I did it for years. Tell yourself not to touch/eat/do something and it will sing around in your mind until kingdoms come. But I took a step back from that trap and told myself I wasn’t telling myself anything. Weights fluctuate, especially in the small way mine showed this morning. I’m fine. I still fit into the same clothes. Food restrictions make me nervous. I am not those numbers on a scale.

So I just took the piece of pie I was offered at work and decided that would be all the ‘extra’ food I would eat today. And it was, because I’m not ruled by my stomach nor my cravings.

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