Here we go again. This time, Dr. Laura answers the question that has been burning in all of our minds: how damaged are the damaged goods that are the result of a divorce? Answer: Damaged.
The question: I lost my wife to breast cancer three years ago, and I’m ready to find a new love in my life. It seems that a woman who has been divorced may not know, or care to know, how to make a man happy, and perhaps only dating widows gives me a better chance at being happy. What do you think?
Dr. Laura’s answer: I think statistically speaking, you’re probably right. Somebody who has come from a loving relationship where they really miss their spouse is more likely going to have a very positive attitude towards marriage and love and caretaking than somebody who’s come from a bitter situation of a breakup, with anger and resentment and angst, so I would say, statistically speaking, cause, you know, statistics are about population, you’re always going to find a perfectly healthy, wonderful individual who made a mistake and got divorced and rectified the mistake by the divorce and is really cool and loving, and you’re always going to find somebody who is widowed who perhaps wasn’t a very nice wife in the first place, but statistically speaking, a widow who really loved her husband and had a happy home, yeah, I think you’re right.
Before I jump into this, let me remind you that Dr. Laura herself was divorced and then married her current husband.
Dr. Susan’s answer: What do I think? I mean, I know you didn’t ask me, but I’m going to tell you anyway: I think the divorced women who are being ignored by you should consider it a bullet dodged. I think that if you’re seeking happiness, you should be looking for a person who has individual qualities that are compatible with yours; if you’re looking for somebody whose sole purpose is to make you happy, you might consider hiring a companion. I think that you’re trying to find a way to make yourself feel superior, as a widower, to those who went through divorce, and I think you are projecting this onto the women that you meet. I think it is absolutely stupid to make the assumptions that you are making, but at the same time, you are right in staying away from divorced women, because you are not going to treat them well. And, truthfully, I think you’re an ass.
As for Dr. Laura’s answer, now might be a good time for her to figure out that “statistically speaking” requires some basis in statistics. Sure, it gives you an air of authority to say “statistically speaking” in front of a sentence, but then you have to back it up with fact, or your statement falls completely apart. As far as I can tell, no such statistics exist. What she really wants to say is “according to me, most people who got a divorce are bitter, and most people who stayed married until death are loving.” In broad strokes, divorced people tend to have worse health after the divorce. So do widowed women. Divorce can be traumatic. So can losing a spouse to death. And a widowed woman is far more likely to have murdered her spouse than a divorced woman whose ex-spouse is still alive.
That last sentence is absurd. So is assuming that a divorced woman won’t be able to be a good partner and a widowed woman will. But really, Dr. Laura is right in encouraging you to stay away from divorced women, because lord knows they don’t need you in their lives.