A Shave and A Dance: DIY Snatch Care

Q. Any advice for shaving one’s pubic hair? I always seem to get, erm, stubble and that’s just not nice for sexytimes. (Nobody likes a carpet burn!) I’m kind of interested in waxing, but also terrified of it, so any insight into how to get a smooth mound would be (forgive me) gnarly!

A. Excellent question! As someone who is always grooming their pretty kitty to fit it into some sort of odd thong or another, the whole grooming of the delicate area can be, well, tricky. We all have personal tastes that range on what is considered “groomed” or pubic friendly. Some of us rock the au natural a la long hair gal, while some of us prefer a delicate landing strip of hair that guides the eye towards the end of the rainbow. I’ve personally gone the route of dyeing my own lovely bush a stark shade of pink and thrown some glitter in there, just for good measure. While were getting off track here, I just mean to tell everyone the golden rule: do what’s best for you. What’s one persons bare landscape, is another’s hairy mound – so remember, gnarly is a flexible term and we have to do what feels best for us – and that always varies. So grain of salt, my little loves,  but in other words, let’s get this hair removal party a-goin’.

Whether bare or pom pom, you are the decider of your shaving adventure.

Shaving versus waxing can have its pros and cons. Depending on how sensitive your skin is, one may work better for you than the other. Now, my fellow stripping ladies all swear by going to see a pro. Let’s just put that right out there. But any pro costs money and we don’t always have money. So if you do decide to go the DIY route, whether shaving or waxing, let’s go over some tricks of the trade and make sure that you are going to have the smoothest, most fabulous looking snatch in the tri-state area.

1. When either shaving and waxing, repeat after me. Exfoliate, exfoliate, moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. Exfoliating takes off all the dead skin and leaves a clean canvas for you to do your thing and prevents ingrown hairs in the process. Some folks swear by baby oil, but I tend to find that baby oil makes my skin feel not-so-fresh and can end up clogging my pores. Coco butter and shea butter are both miraculous gifts from the gods on high, but any scent-free lotion will do.

2. Stay away from the too long and the too short: both can make your experience difficult. Longer hair is harder to pull out and more difficult to shave, and shorter hair won’t always catch when waxing. But wait! Short hair is good for shaving right? We are going that way anyway? Yes, in theory, the shorter the better, but with shorter hair, the razor can actually drag and cause irritation. The general consensus seems to settle on about 1/4″ long.

3. Avoid waxing or shaving after exercise or tanning: these activities can leave your skin in a less than chipper shape. Exercise breeds sweat, which can breed bacteria, which can breed a nasty-ass infection. Tanning crispifies the top layer of the skin and can actually end up potentially peeling a layer of your skin off. Also, once you have waxed, avoid water, whether in the swimming pool or the ocean. Both of these can introduce bacteria to your freshly nude vajuju. A nice little shower, however, will prep you for the stripping of your lady bits.

4. Move in the right direction. Hair growth patterns usually can go in one direction, usually down. With waxing this works well, and normally will take just once to get everything out, minus a hair or two you may be able to just pluck out with tweezers. Apply your wax with the follicle, spread, press, and pull. Voila! Clean leg. Now with shaving, this can be a bit difficult. Going with the growth isn’t the best way to shave and it can leave some uneven spots, thus a few more trips with the razor over the same area. This leads to irritation.

5. Don’t go over the same area twice. This can be harder with shaving, as your razor won’t always get everything. The more you go over a sensitive area with your razor, the more likely to feel the burn. A nice trick I have picked up is getting a stand up mirror and pulling the skin a bit taught, while shaving. Not only can you look at your lovely snatch and realize the all amazing power of your self-raising flower (I see you, Patsy and Edina fans!), you are more likely to catch most of the hairs. If you do end up missing some spots, try tweezing stray hairs out, followed by a little alcohol or witch hazel. This will cut down on inflammation and make your snatch smell like momma’s liquor cabinet.

6. Behold, the baby powder! This is a great trick that if you have ever danced in any sort of thong, it works wonders. While moisturizing is crucial to keeping everything from getting inflamed, baby powder can soak up moisturizer and keep everything easy to work with.

7. Get rid of the undies. While you are at it, get rid of whatever you have. Here’s the time to chill naked for a bit – anything that may rub up against your freshly done pubis mound may cause irritation.

8. Accessorize: Vajazziling? A little bow on your landing strip? Perhaps a coat of glitter or even a touch of bright color? The world is your oyster, kid. If you go for it, own it. Make your pussy the queen of the neighborhood.

Well kids, hopefully this advice has proven effective. If not, throw that shit out the window and make sure to do what works for you. Whether long and lovely, or short and trim, your pubic hair is your bidness, and you take care of it how you want. We’ve got your back either way. But for all those who go forth into their shaving adventure, just remember this little diddy!

Happy grooming, my peaches!

Got a ques­tion to ask, sub­ject you’d like us to dis­cuss, or myth you’d like us to bust? Keep “˜em com­ing! (Lord.Have.And.Mercy.) You can send us an anony­mous mes­sage via the Ask Us! fea­ture here. We promise we don’t bite (unless you’re into that type of thing”¦)

By TheLadyMiss

14 replies on “A Shave and A Dance: DIY Snatch Care”

Yes! This is true. Most folks can use it and be honky dory. However, I said that I tend to find that baby oil makes my skin feel weird and it has clogged my pores.  And if not clogged up my pores, it just agitated my skin. Its hopefully not intended to come off as a blanket statement. I condone whatever the hell works for you, be it mineral oil or be it nut oil, if you aren’t allergic to nuts.


Great post!! One thing to keep in mind for the nut-allergic, is that Shea is a tree nut. So perhaps it is best to test it out on a small patch of less sensitive skin prior to putting it on more sensitive areas? – Signed, A musicologist who once made her entire self extremely itchy because she didn’t realize that shea is a nut. :(

I have never even thought about using lube. Anything thats strictly oil based (i know this is a loose statement, being that almost all lotion has some oil in it. science.) makes my skin all wacky though. I have a girlfriend who swears by olive oil, which I have yet to try.

Olive oil is also my go-to post wax. In addition to removing wax fairly easily, it feels nice & keeps my skin from drying out & being covered in nasty bumps.

Also, salicylic acid works or hydrogen peroxide work wonders on ingrown hairs. Just be sure to moisturize as soon as they’re absorbed to avoid irritation & drying out.

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