Open Thread

It’s The Weekend Open Thread You Always Wanted

It’s the weekend, let’s do an open thread, like we do. 

By [E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

123 replies on “It’s The Weekend Open Thread You Always Wanted”

My cousin, who’s stuck to a disastrous, abusive relationship for several years, has been away from the guy for a whole week now. I think this is longer than ever before. I’m long past having any optimism about the situation, but… hm.

It’s a step in the right direction. Hopefully she has a lot of support. The time just after leaving an abuser can be more dangerous (in the short term) than staying with him, and survivors often find it hard to find money, a place to live, etc .etc. after leaving because they’ve been made dependent for so long. All the best to her, fingers crossed.

Well, perhaps you can just be cheerful about this week? When I had a good friend in an abusive relationship, I used to try an build her up as much as I could when she would be in the micro breaks in the relationship. It was shit every time she took him back, but helping her realize that she could be happy without him around was all that it was really in my power to do, so I tried to focus on that.

I’ll try! Should see her in the weekend, hopefully, and I’ll call. I can’t call her much otherwise, because I know the guy uses any excuse, including incoming calls, for starting shit. They also have no Internet connection at home.

And for what it’s worth, she did eventually leave him for good, but it took years. So, I guess my advice is, do what you can do but, accept that leaving will be her choice and that you cannot make it for her*, and don’t give up hope totally.

*And there is no blame on you if she doesn’t make that choice right now. Realizing that it wasn’t my fault that my friend’s relationship was shitty was a big thing for me.

Warning: What follows contains a fair amount of whining.

I’m feeling like shit today. Not in a I can pin point this down and that is why I am sick kind of way, but in a I have a bunch of little things that are adding up to feeling like poop. Both of my ear piercings have somehow managed to get infected. I apparently sound very congested to my coworkers (I dunno, sinus crap happens so often for me that I have a very skewed baseline for what is normal). Stomach is mildly irritated (probably sinus draining related). And to top it all off my tendency to neurocardiogenic syncope is acting up, so keeping my torso vertical is proving more difficult than it should be. I had to sit down in the shower this morning.

But I have an important meeting today, so I am at work. Blargh.

On the upside, I cleaned my car out this weekend. I have a totally clean car.

Also, the author of a book I reviewed on Goodreads liked my review and I feel vaguely proud of that.

I did not know that! I’ve been putting some saline solution on it, and I was going to pick up some antibacterial ointment (I’m out), but I was worried about it not letting the piercings drain and breath. I’ll give the toner a try.

And I doubt that I’ll be able to leave after the meeting, I have a ton of crap to get done. But I might sneak home on my lunch hour for a power nap.

Arrrrgh I’m so many balls of nerves and I need to vent to people who are…well, people.

Life things: this housing thing. Is. Driving. Me. Nuts. It’s like when you have no idea what to do and you go nuts trying to look end up getting nothing done. What I thought I had locked in has a 2-year lease and a roommate leaving five months in which would hypothetically cause our rents to go up if we don’t find a replacement, and I don’t know enough about anything to know if this is sketchy or not. I also only have one more day towards the end of the month to find an alternative if it is. Then it’s August, I need to move in September, and REALLY didn’t want to wait that late. This late. I don’t want to stress. nor do I want to go all in unless I’m 110% certain, and I don’t want to wind up living somewhere I hate because I fucked up as usual. And if it doesn’t work out, what do I tell these other potential roommates?

Boy things: I met a boy (/man. He is considerably older than me, I realized once I did research) on Monday, texted back and forth daily (not obsessively) since then, saw him Friday, had so much fun, then…significantly less contact today and yesterday. I don’t know what to think. But I’m never this comfortable around most people and I would have liked it to work out.

I have a lot more going on than I did a month ago, I’d like to think; at the very least, a job. But I would like…well, magic to happen for my next six weeks. I want to know where I’m living, know that it’s not ill-informed or an awful place, and be with a nice boy for a short time who’ll help me learn that not all men suck.

Even if nobody has anything to say back/I’m too weird and ragey and feelingsy, I heartfeltingly thank each and everyone of you for being real people.

Curses! Victoria Secret got me again. I bought some perfectly ridiculous underwear this weekend when I was just going in there to pay my bill. They are perfectly ridiculous because they are crazy full of sequins( in an unsuitable for prolonged wear sort of way) and since I’m not currently dating anyone no one will be seeing them anytime soon but me. But but but they are so so sparkly. And it said limited edition on the tag which is like my kryptonite phrase when I’m wavering on an unnecessary purchase. Did I mention they are sparkly?

Ahhh me and limited edition and unnecessary underthings go way back. One of these days, you should meet the pink and black striped garter belt that I bought a year ago and have never worn (I’m also very, very single and my current poor excuse for a sex buddy doesn’t particularly care what my underthings look like.). And the unlined, transparent neon yellow-green lace bra that is a cup size too small and needs to be worn with another bra underneath for real support (that, though, I’ve gotten mileage out of).

All’s I’m saying is, it happens.


I secretly covet frivolous undies, but VS (and many other fine lingerie places) are just way over my budget right now. As soon as I get a real-person job, I am totally getting a stupid amount of naughty underthings that I actually have bookmarked on my laptop.

I finally sat my butt down and started the Supernatural fanfic that has been living in my head for over a month. And it’s starting off so good! But I feel like a nerd! But it’s going well, I already have 1200 words I just started like an hour ago! And I’m having all these Supernatural feels!I think I care more about fictional characters than actual people.

And I have a date. On Tuesday. Which will be the first “official” date that I’ve had in…over a year? I’ve “dated” in the past few months but this guy is from OKC and (assumingly) is looking for a relationship-type deal eventually, which the other guy I “dated” wasn’t looking for. But this OKC guy is super adorable and funny. Not as tall as I usually go for but…I guess we can’t win them all. Commence the nervous “omgIhopehelikesme.doilookfat?doilookugly?whatamigoingtowear?” freak outs.

Kissing is goooood, oh wow! Apparently he’s letting me lead and I am moving surprisingly fast for a 26 year old with NO experience. I had to kick him out though, because I have work in the morning and I need to be responsible. Stupid work.

I feel amazing. This is the best stress reliever ever. And we were really domestic first, we went grocery shopping, I folded my laundry, and then… MAKEOUTS! This is everything I wanted. :-)

Well then.

Sitting in the middle of class with people sitting all around me and a dude sharing the table with me.  Lesson learned.  Don’t go over to a certain women’s blog to read the open thread since changes to commenting system.  If one does this, they may broadcast a bunch of porn to the people around them.  F$@k.

I will only have half of the amount due for rent on Friday (and this is with an extension). The local state and church aid only provides rent assistance if there are children involved and an eviction has already been filed.

The current roommates are moving out mostly this week (the last one will move next week). The one with custody of the internet moves out tomorrow.

I just wish that something in my life (other than my boyfriend, he is awesome) could be not totally screwed up.


Protip: Always have your orgies with nerdy friends! There usually isn’t any trouble with ego, presumption of expectations, and everyone is really grateful to be there. My tiny house worked perfectly as a space, all of my feedback today has been positive, A++ would do again if I weren’t two weeks away from moving cross-country.

I’m gonna be sending @veruna a detailed message with all the gory bits, I’ll send it to you too once it’s composed :)

Well, my interview on Friday was a bust in one way but may or may not lead to another job in a few weeks/months… no worries, dudes, I’d only be moving countries, take your time…. My boyfriend actually being back this weekend has given me added motivation to continue the job hunt, though. These once-a-month-at-most sex-fests are hell on my poor confused vagina.

My mother has decided to motivate me with DeBrand’s chocolate after she caught me crying over a practice bar exam this week.  If you were from Indiana, you might know that DeBrand’s is the best chocolate in the world, they make it in my hometown, and they have opened what is essentially a dessert castle 15 minutes from my parents’ house.  Where they make their own ice cream (the REAL stuff).  With the promise of vanilla ice cream, dark chocolate syrup, tart raspberry syrup, and toasted almonds, all served in a dark chocolate bowl (yes, you can EAT THE BOWL) my performance has improved considerably.

Just got my first paycheck for my first week at my new job- which means there is a shiny red Kitchenaid mixer on its way to my kitchen as we speak! I’ve been promising myself for years that I would get a stand mixer as a present to myself for my first grownup paycheck, and you bet that sucker was on order as soon as I realized my check had been deposited.

I am now experiencing the Entering The Workplace = Gaining Weight phenomenon. I’m hoping it will slack off once we’re out of training so boring they have to ply us with cookies in the afternoon to keep us awake.

woo hoo! Congratulations! As far as the working/snacking/gaining phenom…yeah. It’s brutal. I noticed it when I went from teaching preschool (read: moving all day long) to a desk job. Hopefully you’ll find a balance. And use your standmixer for making healthy things and not cookies. (I jest- MAKE ALL THE BAKING THINGS with your new beauty!)

The standmixer is definitely going to be used for unhealthy baked goods, which I will attempt to eat in moderation. Considering our first week at the job was 4 days of all powerpoints, they would give us juice in the morning sessions and cookies and pop in the afternoons. That’s gonna stop either this week or next, so I think I’ll be fine once I go back to 3 meals a day minus the bottle of OJ and two cookies and a Coke.

So jealous.  I was making frosting yesterday and kept thinking, “If only I had a stand mixer, my frosting would always look good as well as taste good.”  Stand mixer is also going to be my first grown up job purchase (okay, second.  I want so many shoes), but mine is going to be yellow.  They were on sale at Kohl’s this week and I had a coupon, but I still couldn’t pay $120 for something to put in a kitchen I don’t currently have.  :(

The yellow mixer sounds cute! I’m ashamed to admit that once I saw that I had unexpectedly got paid, I ran home and bought the mixer on Amazon without checking for deals or sales elsewhere. Which is hypocritical considering my aversion to buying anything full price, but this was emotional buying at its finest. (And I may have been influenced that my mixer-owning boyfriend had just arrived in town and I was eager to prove that I will now have one too! Although he’s still beating me considering he has the ice cream maker attachment…)

I bought one about six months ago.  Amazing.  You will never regret it.  I too have the red Kitchenaid.  Don’t feel bad about not looking for a deal – I’ve always been told (at least where I am) that the Kitchenaid Stand Mixers don’t go on sale.

I am currently on a bread kick because the dough hook works like a mofo.  It is amazing!

And I’m not gonna lie – it looks amazing sitting on my countertop!

Oh, man, I love my standing mixer. I don’t use it nearly as often as I should. Pretty much if I’m making a big batch of stuff. I wish I had room to keep it on my counter full-time.

Maybe I should try making souffle later this week….

:(((( Took my little sis to the airport very early this morning- she’s off to a summer program for a month and won’t come back til after I move, so I won’t see her til Christmas. We cried at the dropoff point, but I know more crying will come for me later. We’ve been joined at the hip since she was born.

Halp? I advertised a tractor on craigslist last Sunday and the man who emailed, and called, and called came to look at it today. Aaaaa I like him! He did scrutinize the tractor, and he drove it around the yard and such and then it was hot so I invited him in for refreshing mojitos – and as I was walking him out to his truck he kissed me he kissed me he kissed me a lot – a WHOLE LOT!

Persephs, I have not been kissed. like that in quite some time! The 8th grade feeling (he likes me!), the realistic stuff (he is not currently married! his kids are grown and do not live with him!), the sadness (I am in need of a new man), so do I email him?

And then I read this and think: Of course someone kissed me. I am kissable, desirable, I am cute and have a great house and a pretty car and I know how to keep my automatic gates functioning. I may or may not have a screwdriver in my pocket. Men love me, I love them.

Email? No email? Some would text but I don’t think he’s a texter. He’s out of town next week because he works at very important and socially relevant things 00 I like him…

sorry to be so helpless, but I was dating before you were born, and not really since, and you could also get off my lawn. Thanks!


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