First of all, I’ve seen enough horror movies to know you don’t split up when you’re in a big, scary asylum and there’s a crazed killer on the loose. Second, I think it’s fair to say my microwave fingers and the sun are about the only things around here that seem to have any effect on Russell. So the way I see it, it’s me protecting you from him instead of the other way around. Third, I got a headache and I gotta pee something fierce so I’d just as soon get this over with.
I really love the turn Sookie has taken this season. Sure, she’s screwed up, but she owns screwing up, she’s tolerating a lot less bullshit, and she’s not really making moony faces at anyone. If there’s anything the show seems to have learned from last year, it’s that the overemphasis on the romance angle can really drag down the plot.
Sookie, Alcide, Bill and Eric
I would like the record to show that Bill and Eric have both had sex with Salome, and Eric also banged Nora within days of breaking up with Sookie, so maybe the boys can shove their judgmental noses back up their asses about who Sookie might be making out with, those hypocrites. Not that Sookie gets to have sex with Alcide anyway. She pukes on him, with Bill and Eric watching.
Bill and Eric deliver the bad news that Russell is out of the ground and likely to start looking for Sookie immediately. Since she’s got all that juicy fairy blood and all. Must be Thursday! Instead of insisting that Sookie needs to be protected at all costs like they might have in past years, the gang devises an actual useful and productive plan that utilizes Sook’s on-again/off-again telepathic powers. Remember when that was, like, a big thing? That was important to her character? But seems to get conveniently forgotten whenever it would ruin a surprise? Now it’s important again – she’s able to sort through Gary the construction worker’s glamored memories to figure out who let Russell out (a female Authority member) and where they took him (abandoned mental hospital, natch).
For the four-episode build up to tracking Russell down, he’s found relatively easily, lying in a hospital bed, apparently unguarded, waiting for the gang. Why this didn’t immediately shout TRAP in neon letters a mile high for the two vampires old enough to know better is anyone’s guess (Sookie does point out they don’t watch many movies) and Alcide is attacked and dragged off from behind.
So we’re all in agreement that Nora is the fall guy for Salome, who dug Russell out, right? Right.
Tara, Pam, Jessica
And Hoyt! Tara is disappointed to find out that undead life is a lot like live-life, except with better clothes. She gets half her brain blown off and comes back from the dead just to look forward to endless nights tending bar at Fangtasia and not being allowed to eat who she wants because her Sire doesn’t want bad publicity. Could you imagine dying and then finding out you still had to keep paying your credit card bills? Or your student loans?
Jessica, who doesn’t have a lot of vampire friends in a place like Bon Temps, beelines for Tara, offering to be BFFs. This is, I believe, the first time the show has acknowledged how lonely Jessica must be with no one to confide in – there’s a real sense of desperation in her voice when she’s trying to lure Tara into conversation. And Tara bites, figuratively, at the offer. There’s a promise of a real friendship there.
For what amounts to a couple of hours. Jessica catches Tara feeding off of poor, depressed Hoyt, in the bathroom and starts a hair-pulling, cheek scratching chick fight powered by vampire speed and strength.
Obviously, yay! for Jessica revealing she still has fee-fees for Hoyt. But, seriously, a cat fight? A fucking cat fight? Every time I think the show is taking a step forward on a promising storyline for Tara, they throw in some crap like this.
Sam and Luna
Was anyone else surprised that Sam actually reported his friend’s deaths to the police? Everyone on this show is always hiding bodies and lying to the cops, so that I was actually taken aback to see Andy and Jason 1) doing their jobs and 2) investigating a shifter murder. Sam even admits to Andy that his friends were supes. The bullets used were wooden, like what the Fellowship was supplying to their vampire hunters, but as Sam points out, a bullet to the head will kill a shifter just as fast as a human, no matter what kind of material it was made from.
By the end of the episode, the (likely) same hunters have tracked Sam to Luna’s house, where they shoot both of them on the front lawn. Emma turns into a wolf puppy and escapes.
Luna seems most sincerely dead. Sam will recover, because his face is on the advertisements. And the pack will get caught back up in the storyline again, now that humans are hunting supes and Emma is on the run.
Guesses? The pack and shifters will fight against radicalized humans, who are being manipulated by the separatists vampires in a bid to convince vampires that mainstreaming is impossible and they need to bring humans under their thumbs?
- Terry and Patrick get tied up by their unstable army buddy, because an Ifrit is hunting all the members of their unit for massacring a town square full of people. I know it was a big part of the episode, and I love Terry, but I just can not find it in myself to care about this subplot. Maybe the Ifrit will kill Lilith or something.
- Jason and Andy wake up naked in their respective houses after being kicked out of the fairy burlesque club.
- Jason has a truly disturbing dream about his parents that involve them bleeding into their cereal and his mom offering to perform sexual favors on him. Remember when it seemed like the show might deal with Jason’s rape? Or the revelation he was statuary raped by his teacher? Well, now he’s going to go solve his parents’ murder by vampire, apparently. I sure hope the fairies were lying about that. That would actually be interesting.
- Jesus’s severed head appears to both Lafayette and his mama separately. Jesus’s lips are sewn shut but Ruby Jean seems to know what he wants. Welcome back Alfre Woodard!