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New Show Recap: True Blood, Episode 5.05, “Let’s Boot and Rally”

First of all, I’ve seen enough horror movies to know you don’t split up when you’re in a big, scary asylum and there’s a crazed killer on the loose. Second, I think it’s fair to say my microwave fingers and the sun are about the only things around here that seem to have any effect on Russell. So the way I see it, it’s me protecting you from him instead of the other way around. Third, I got a headache and I gotta pee something fierce so I’d just as soon get this over with. 

I really love the turn Sookie has taken this season. Sure, she’s screwed up, but she owns screwing up, she’s tolerating a lot less bullshit, and she’s not really making moony faces at anyone. If there’s anything the show seems to have learned from last year, it’s that the overemphasis on the romance angle can really drag down the plot.

Sookie, Alcide, Bill and Eric

Thanks to fanpop for the image!

I would like the record to show that Bill and Eric have both had sex with Salome, and Eric also banged Nora within days of breaking up with Sookie, so maybe the boys can shove their judgmental noses back up their asses about who Sookie might be making out with, those hypocrites. Not that Sookie gets to have sex with Alcide anyway. She pukes on him, with Bill and Eric watching.

Bill and Eric deliver the bad news that Russell is out of the ground and likely to start looking for Sookie immediately. Since she’s got all that juicy fairy blood and all.  Must be Thursday! Instead of insisting that Sookie needs to be protected at all costs like they might have in past years, the gang devises an actual useful and productive plan that utilizes Sook’s on-again/off-again telepathic powers. Remember when that was, like, a big thing? That was important to her character? But seems to get conveniently forgotten whenever it would ruin a surprise? Now it’s important again – she’s able to sort through Gary the construction worker’s glamored memories to figure out who let Russell out (a female Authority member) and where they took him (abandoned mental hospital, natch).

For the four-episode build up to tracking Russell down, he’s found relatively easily, lying in a hospital bed, apparently unguarded, waiting for the gang. Why this didn’t immediately shout TRAP in neon letters a mile high for the two vampires old enough to know better is anyone’s guess (Sookie does point out they don’t watch many movies) and Alcide is attacked and dragged off from behind.

So we’re all in agreement that Nora is the fall guy for Salome, who dug Russell out, right? Right.

Tara, Pam, Jessica

And Hoyt! Tara is disappointed to find out that undead life is a lot like live-life, except with better clothes. She gets half her brain blown off and comes back from the dead just to look forward to endless nights tending bar at Fangtasia and not being allowed to eat who she wants because her Sire doesn’t want bad publicity. Could you imagine dying and then finding out you still had to keep paying your credit card bills? Or your student loans?

Jessica, who doesn’t have a lot of vampire friends in a place like Bon Temps, beelines for Tara, offering to be BFFs. This is, I believe, the first time the show has acknowledged how lonely Jessica must be with no one to confide in – there’s a real sense of desperation in her voice when she’s trying to lure Tara into conversation. And Tara bites, figuratively, at the offer. There’s a promise of a real friendship there.

For what amounts to a couple of hours. Jessica catches Tara feeding off of poor, depressed Hoyt, in the bathroom and starts a hair-pulling, cheek scratching chick fight powered by vampire speed and strength.

Obviously, yay! for Jessica revealing she still has fee-fees for Hoyt. But, seriously, a cat fight? A fucking cat fight? Every time I think the show is taking a step forward on a promising storyline for Tara, they throw in some crap like this.

 Sam and Luna

Was anyone else surprised that Sam actually reported his friend’s deaths to the police? Everyone on this show is always hiding bodies and lying to the cops, so that I was actually taken aback to see Andy and Jason 1) doing their jobs and 2) investigating a shifter murder. Sam even admits to Andy that his friends were supes. The bullets used were wooden, like what the Fellowship was supplying to their vampire hunters, but as Sam points out, a bullet to the head will kill a shifter just as fast as a human, no matter what kind of material it was made from.

By the end of the episode, the (likely) same hunters have tracked Sam to Luna’s house, where they shoot both of them on the front lawn. Emma turns into a wolf puppy and escapes.

Luna seems most sincerely dead. Sam will recover, because his face is on the advertisements. And the pack will get caught back up in the storyline again, now that humans are hunting supes and Emma is on the run.

Guesses? The pack and shifters will fight against radicalized humans, who are being manipulated by the separatists vampires in a bid to convince vampires that mainstreaming is impossible and they need to bring humans under their thumbs?

And the rest

  • Terry and Patrick get tied up by their unstable army buddy, because an Ifrit is hunting all the members of their unit for massacring a town square full of people. I know it was a big part of the episode, and I love Terry, but I just can not find it in myself to care about this subplot. Maybe the Ifrit will kill Lilith or something.
  • Jason and Andy wake up naked in their respective houses after being kicked out of the fairy burlesque club.
  • Jason has a truly disturbing dream about his parents that involve them bleeding into their cereal and his mom offering to perform sexual favors on him. Remember when it seemed like the show might deal with Jason’s rape? Or the revelation he was statuary raped by his teacher? Well, now he’s going to go solve his parents’ murder by vampire, apparently. I sure hope the fairies were lying about that. That would actually be interesting.
  • Jesus’s severed head appears to both Lafayette and his mama separately. Jesus’s lips are sewn shut but Ruby Jean seems to know what he wants. Welcome back Alfre Woodard!

By [E] Slay Belle

Slay Belle is an editor and the new writer mentor here at Persephone Magazine, where she writes about pop culture, Buffy, and her extreme love of Lifetime movies. She is also the editor of powderroom.jezebel.com. You can follow her on Twitter, @SlayBelle or email her at slay@persephonemagazine.com.

She is awfully fond of unicorns and zombies, and will usually respond to any conversational volley that includes those topics.

19 replies on “New Show Recap: True Blood, Episode 5.05, “Let’s Boot and Rally””

To be honest, I started watching this ep, wondering if there is a storyline left that I care about. And they went to Lafayette immediately, thankfully – I’m not sure if he even has much of a storyline, but I’d watch this guy read bingo numbers. Also, Jesus and Lafayette’s mother are actually characters I’m glad to see making a reappearance.

Moving on, drunk Sookie is fun, and Russell is entertaining as well, so perhaps there is still some hope for this season? Then again, the Salome thing is too obvious, there better be a twist coming (I doubt there is though). I think the entire Authority is rather poorly conceived and executed, and at worst, comes off as self-congratulatory (iStakes, really?).

It’s a bit of a mystery to me how the murderous shifter-haters can creep up on their supe targets unnoticed, despite being, you know, a gang of burly dudes in a big truck in a quiet neighbourhood – but for once, I don’t entirely hate a storyline that involves Sam. Extra props to him for calling the police and owning up to being a shifter.

I wish someone decided on a goddamn storyline for Jason already. And I adore Terry, the actor is fantastic, but his storyline is a waste of time.

Also…

Jessica catches Tara feeding off of poor, depressed Hoyt, in the bathroom and starts a hair-pulling, cheek scratching chick fight powered by vampire speed and strength.

Wasn’t Tara some cage or ultimate fighter or something last season? Wouldn’t she wipe the floor with Jessica? Slapping? Really?

I’m really interested to see how Sam will grow this season. I was sad to see Luna die, and I think she’s dead too.

Just like Community, I’m glad they’re getting away from romantic plot lines. They’re really not good at it when they try. They need to learn from Buffy and let these things happen on their own.

Obviously, yay! for Jessica revealing she still has fee-fees for Hoyt. But, seriously, a cat fight? A fucking cat fight? Every time I think the show is taking a step forward on a promising storyline for Tara, they throw in some crap like this.

You’re probably right about this, but I hope not. This damn show spends more time having characters melodramatically get over lovers than they do making them fall in love. When they were fighting, there was that voice-over about vampire-nature and I thought it meant that Jessica fought with Tara because she had been feeding off a vamp Jessica had claimed. Like, vamps don’t like to share people they think of as “mine.” I thought that’s what it was about. But maybe Jessica does have feelings for Hoyt…sigh.

 

Oh, I agree. We know Jessica and Hoyt care for each other, even though they’re not a couple. What I mean is that I hope she didn’t fight Tara off because she was jealous. I want it to be because either A.) Vampire-nature or B.) She’s worried young vamp Tara might hurt Hoyt. I really don’t want Jessica and Hoyt to start up again as a couple.

I was super annoyed when it became obvious that Sookie wouldn’t be actually screwing Alcide. The Vampish Twosome get all the sexy, naked times fun and she gets none? A travesty, I say!  And yes, I bet Salome dug Russel out and is letting Nora take the fall.

Oh, Jesus! I’m actually wondering if he has the mouth shut because they’re going with the theme of needing to give blood to the dead before they can talk.

Unfortunately, we’ve already seen people talk to the dead on the show — the pretty ghost lady from last season, for instance, didn’t need blood shed to communicate with her. I’m going to guess that Jesus is in some way cursed or punished, and that it might have to do with Lafayette having his demon.

Must be Thursday! 

First time I laughed out loud at a Sookie joke in a long time. I agree that Sookie got all the good lines this episode and I’m glad about that. For once I’m not wishing she wasn’t the main character. But I am kind of irritated she didn’t get it on with Alcide. Why do the boys get to have all the hot, consequence-free sex?

Why do the boys get to have all the hot, consequence-free sex?

That has been super glaring these season. Did you see Zach and Miri Make a Porno? Zach made sure that Miri couldn’t have a sex scene with anyone but him because he was jealous — and when you tally up how much on screen nookie the boys have gotten versus Sookie, it reads like that.

It’s really annoying to read other reviews online about that, too. Because when Sookie *is* getting some people are all, “ERMEGAH What’s so great about Sookie? Why do all these men want to bang her? She’s not hot enough!” Meanwhile no one says that about Bill or Eric. Or even Andy Bellefleur.

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