News Appetizers: Greetings, Monday!

Mondays. What a ripoff. I mean, having to wake up and deal with the week ahead is hard enough, but then to check all your sources to see what’s going on in the big, beautiful world… oy. Yet, like a moth to a flame, we return each week, offering tidbits and bites of the world around us, for better or worse. Mostly worse. There seems to be a lot of worse. But fear not! We aren’t here to make your Monday even more Monday, only to bring you the current events with a touch of sass. Just a touch. So grab that cup of stale work coffee and swallow your dreams, here’s to the world around us!


A rare “land hurricane” struck several states over the weekend. Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia, Maryland, the District of Columbia and New Jersey all saw damage from the extremely rare storm that, “is a gigantic wind storm coupled with thunderstorms“¦ powerful as tornadoes, but they don’t twist; they drive in a straight line. They’re described as land hurricanes because they have wind gusts of at least 58 miles per hour and higher.” In laymen’s terms, omg, wtf. (NPR)

While most folks are still celebrating the recent healthcare decision (including this health insuranceless lass), the GOP is throwing one hell of a tantrum. Just ask Senator Mitch McConnell, who thinks that providing health care coverage to 30 million uninsured Americans is ” not the issue.” Oh, vraiment, Mitchy? (Huffington Post)

In the ongoing fuckery that is the Sandusky trial, emails have surfaced that show how a former Penn State president agreed not to take allegations of child sexual abuse against former assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky to authorities. From the LA Times: “The emails show that athletic director Tim Curley and retired vice president Gary Schultz intended to report the allegations, then reconsidered. Then-president Graham Spanier responded that he was ‘supportive’ of their plan, but he worried they might ‘become vulnerable for not having reported it.'” In other words, these guys are assholes. (LA Times)

Unmanned drones in Pakistan killed eight people early Sunday. Because nothing says fair like a giant drone strike coming into your house at four in the morning. (Al Jazeera)

Dear people of color, don’t even think about voting here. Love, Florida’s HB 1355. (Colorlines)

And since Monday seems to be a little on the downer side, let us all enjoy this moment when House Democrats staged a walk out, as the Republican-led House voted to hold Atty. Gen. Eric H. Holder Jr. in contempt on Thursday.  Because, seriously. (Colorlines)


Are you sufficiently worked up for your Monday? Cringing about land hurricanes? Wondering if old man Paterno is hiding under your bed? Girl, me too. But fear not! The day is almost over, and with this one ending comes another dawn, another day, and another new news bracket to keep you busy in a state of worry and denial. Until next time, you beautiful kittens.

6 replies on “News Appetizers: Greetings, Monday!”

Downtown Chicago got hit pretty hard. I freaked out when it got pitch black and looked like the apocalypse outside. I grew up in a trailer and high winds sometimes bring up a primal fear in me. I called my mom who told me that I live in giant concrete building that will not blow down, and if the sirens go off to head to the stairwell. My sister told me to put the blinds down and go the interior room so I would stop freaking out. I yelled “But then I won’t be able to see out there!” It was pretty pathetic.

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