News in Haiku Featuring the Blues

Hello, kittens. If you can’t stand the news, read it in haiku.

George Jefferson Actor Dies at 74, Move on Up

Hemsley moves on up
To that great big apartment
In the sky so high.
LATimes

OMG, the Drug War Benefits Uncle Sam. No shit! 

CIA said to
Manage drug trade according
To Mexican source
Al Jazeera

Drop Dead Fed

Ben Bernanke says
New stimulus crucial to
Avoid implosion
NYTimes

Apple Makes Buttload of Money, Investors Still Cranky

Ginormous profits
Still disappoint rich white dudes
Where’s my iPhone 5?
BBC

Are You Employed, Mr. Lebowski? 

L.A. stoners frown
Councils bans dispensaries
Time to call The Dude
LATimes

And now the blues: