Everybody loves a good game of bingo, right? Just because somebody is racist and classist (among other things) doesn’t mean they can’t play along. At least, that’s what this crapdate poster wants you to believe.
To start, let me say that there are lots of reasons to avoid Walmart, and two gigantic reasons not to: it has very cheaply priced merchandise for those without a lot of money, and it is extremely convenient for those without a lot of time. People short on money and time shop at Walmart because it’s the only reasonable option. People who don’t shop at Walmart out of principle are able to make that choice because they can afford something else.
In other words, the crapdate poster is making a joke out of a group of people, many of whom are forced into that group because of circumstances outside of their control. Awesome.
Let’s break up the different squares into different sections.
#1) People from the country are poor, act in stereotypical ways, and are therefore funny. They wear camouflage (because hunting is a sport, and why is free range organically fed deer meat awesome, but those who actually go out and get it ridiculous?)! Their children are barefoot! (I wish Sofia would be more barefoot more often. Her tender citified feet make me feel like a failure as a parent.) They wear Rebel Flag T-shirts (because only poor people from the South are racist)! They eat part of candy bars and then leave them behind (that’s not something poor people do, it’s something thieves do, and guess what? That’s not the same thing)!
The whole point of this game is to look around at the customers of Walmart, laugh at how terrible the poor country people are, and put some distance between yourself and those who live in poverty. It might make the crapdate poster feel better about themselves, but that’s just because they aren’t secure enough in their own position to feel good without making other people feel bad. Congratulations, crapdate poster, you’ve just shown how insecure you are.
#2) People who work at Walmart are poor. These jokes write themselves, amirite? Is that a greeter? Or a homeless person? I can’t tell because the greeters are all probably poor homeless people! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh wait, it’s not funny. It’s a disgusting side effect of the free market.
#3) People who go to Walmart have health problems, which are obviously hilarious. There is a person with an eye patch! They have no teeth in their middle age! Isn’t it funny when people can’t afford health care, and then have the nerve to shop in a discount store?
#4) People who go to Walmart are bad at being adults. They go to Walmart in their pajamas! They buy beer and diapers! There is a kid riding a bike in the store! There is a man with vomit on his shirt! There is a car decal depicting urination! There is a family giving away kittens!
Perhaps this is because lately I’ve been feeling very defensive about everybody judging every aspect of my life, but for the love of all things holy – who gives a shit if somebody is shopping in their pajamas. Does it really hurt you if somebody else thinks urination is funny? And if I have to start worrying about buying beer at different times than when I buy diapers, I actually might lose my mind for real. If I need diapers, and I need beer, I’m going to buy them. Together. And it’s not any of the crapdate poster’s business.
#5) People who go to Walmart make bad fashion choices. They smell bad! They have bad haircuts! They wear Wolf Boy shirts! They wear Crocs and ugh. Wifebeater. Ugh.
My little brother has a Wolf Boy shirt, and he’s the most incredible person I’ve ever known. Seriously, there is not a single person who doesn’t like him, he’s hilarious, and you, crapdate poster, can go fuck yourself.
#6) Walmart has cheap stuff. What is wrong with pickels [sic] sold in bulk? What is wrong with low prices? Is this part of the joke? That Walmart is cheap? Because… that’s stupid.
#7) The person who wrote this bingo is an asshole. A White girl with 3+ multiracial kids is only funny if you think races shouldn’t mix, and if you think that women shouldn’t have sex with more than one person. A person weighing more than 300 pounds is only funny if you think that the thin (and only the thin) shall inherit the earth. A pregnant girl with a tramp stamp is only funny if (again) you think that women who have sex are funny and shameful, and while I appreciate the convenience of having a short name to describe both a tattoo and its placement, “tramp stamp” needs to fucking die.
To the crapdate poster: Instead of wandering around Walmart and thinking about how much better you are than the other customers, your time would be better spent thinking about what frightens you about people who are poor, people who are disadvantaged. If they don’t frighten you, there’s no reason for you to artificially widen the distance between you and them by making such a display of the differences between you. Poor people aren’t worse than you, they just have less money. And, most likely, more class, given the shit you are spreading around the Internet.