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This Open Thread is Cool as a Cucumber

Do cucumbers have particularly low temperatures? What makes them so cool, anyway? Well, I know what makes you so cool: hanging out in tonight’s open thread.

How’s your week so far? Anything new, exciting, boring, horrifying, or hilarious? Tell us all about it.

By [E] Rachel

I punctuate sentences with Oxford commas, and I punctuate disagreements with changesocks. Proud curmudgeon. Get off my lawn.

57 replies on “This Open Thread is Cool as a Cucumber”

Is it a job “Kiss of death” if I checked “no” to the question about a prospective employer contacting my former employer? I was a TA as part of my master’s degree at a Canadian university, but I withdrew from the university on bad terms with the department. Job performance as a TA was not part of the reason why I withdrew (that I know of), but it was just more of a political climate with the department,I just didn’t see myself as part of the ideological circle jerk perpetuated within the department (And I got my ass handed to me as a result). I really enjoyed what I did, but I am apprehensive at what the former employer can say to the hiring manager. Please help?

As far as I understand it, your former employer can legally only confirm that you worked there and for how long. They can’t trash talk you OR praise you. I could be wrong but this is what I’ve always heard

When I apply for jobs, I always check ‘No’ because I don’t want my current employer to know that I’m looking for another gig.

I think I added some bonus points to my karmic balance today. Went to use an ATM at a supermarket, saw some guy leave – then realized he’d left his card, took it, chased him down the parking lot and gave it back to him. So far so good. Went back to the ATM, got cash, then an older dude behind me found a driver’s licence and asked if it was mine – nope, but it looked like the same guy whose debit card I had just returned. So I left the driver’s licence at the supermarket help desk, then went home, looked the kid up on Facebook and sent him a message to go get it.

 

GUISE!

I’ve been out of my mind lately and am checking back in to let you all know that I fly out tomorrow to the interview for my dream job.

I credit you all with the confidence I needed to go for this position.  Thank you all, sincerely, for your advice, counsel, kind words, and awesome .gifs over the last few months.

Love you all and I’ll check back in once I get back!

Confession : I have become obsessed with cucumbers as of late. I slice half a cucumber every afternoon after work and eat it with red pepper hummus. It is the best thing ever. And my mom showed me how to make the cucumber and tomato salad that my grandma always made. Nothing is cooler than a cucumber.

My week has been…alright. My friend came over to dinner Monday which was awesome. I co-bought a car with my mom to help her out because her credit is bad and mine is good, so we got a great deal. I have gotten stronger and faster at running. But, on the flip side, I strained my wrist and even typing this has been rather painful. And only one month to get my shit together and move across the country for grad school! So terrifying/exciting.

(edit: idiotic typos)

Burned the inside of my arm when I went home for lunch today (I decided to make eggs real quick). Had to get back to school so all I had time to was run cool water over it really quick. Luckily, my after lunch class was cancelled and was able to run more water on it, but now I have an almost circular red burn on my arm. If it scars it could be a match for the one I got at my 30th birthday party when a lit bulb fell on my arm. I need to come up with a cool story for it instead of burned my arm while cooking because I’m a klutz.

Hmmmm. This week has been strange.  Mr. Nonsense and I got into a couple of disagreements early on in the week that had me all worked up, but last night we finally worked through it.  I think a big part of the problem is that we’re both stubborn and sometimes forget this fact.

I saw Magic Mike with some work girls and that was an interesting experience.  The women next to me were drinking Daiquiris throughout the movie, so they were quite hilarious. The theater was also packed so we had to sit in the second row and holy wow, I’m never doing that again.

But overall, I’d say I had a semi-productive week so far.  I managed to keep my apartment unfucked and hopefully I can keep it up after I go back to work tomorrow because that’s usually when the fuckery happens. Cleaning after working 12 hours just doesn’t happen, but I’m determined to maintain…Determined!

A friend and I went to Magic Mike this weekend (what? she had a gift card to burn and it was 100 degrees in NYC — we had to do something). We were probably the laughing girls in the theater as we had a large flask of Elijah Craig 12 and a pile of candy. We lost it laughing every time McCounaughey said “alright, alright, alright!”

Time change has left me late to the party so hopefully tomorrow people weigh in.

I just finished reading “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” and I realized something.  I think, with the amazing exception of Judy Blume, that male writers in YA write about masturbation at a significantly higher and better level than female writers.  I was a voracious reader growing up and have recently been on a YA genre kick and I realized female masturbation just isn’t a topic like it is for males.  This makes for a sad Frigg.  So…

1.  Is there anyone but Blume who does teenage female masturbation well?

2.  Is it because of something trite, like good girls don’t get off or something?

3.  Why smart ladies, why?

I’d say there’s a few reasons: generally speaking, I just don’t think it’s as common as early in girls as it is in boys; prudery and cultural norms leading writers to write less masturbation for their female characters and/or editors+publishers to discourage it if they do. Off the top of my head I can’t think of any YA with a female character who masturbates, though there may be in Losing It. Which I recommend you read solely for Patrick Ness’s story It’s Different for Boys.

There’s this theme in YA recently…at least for the books trying to snag the female audience. It’s like they’re trying to be the perfect young woman molded by the patriarchy. Part of that is being so virginal that you don’t even think about sex or masturbation. I think the reason why so many young women gravitate toward this is because a lot of girls live under the thumb of a domineering father or patriarchal community that praises them anytime they act a certain way.

It hurts my head even more when I read the books that could be considered the next step after YA. Usually the female protagonist (still perfect and doesn’t masturbate or think sexually explicit things really) will meet Mr.Right and have amazing sex with orgasms upon orgasms. I know in fiction you want to read about great sex…but usually it’s just so unrealistic that it makes you feel like shit since you don’t orgasm like these women.

Sorry for my rant…and my total abandonment of the topic…

Also I think there are female writers who could do great masturbation stories. But female writers are judged differently than male writers. An agency might approve of a man writing a somewhat vulgar story about first-time masturbation, but not a woman.

I went to my first cancer support group tonight. Was pretty interesting. Seemed strange to go after treatment but the majority of us were in the recovery stage. I guess for me it would have been hard to go while I was in treatment – just didn’t have the extra energy for those sorts of things. It was for young adult survivors which was what I was looking for. Cancer is such a surreal experience that I was curious about what other people my age have gone through. I’ll definitely be going again was a very positive experience. Has anybody else ever been to a support group?

And this might be a little TMI but I just have to say I’m having my first period in about 3-4 months and omg I forgot how much these things sucked. Very few benefits to chemo but damn I did not miss this. NOPE.

Glad to hear you are in the recovery stage! And that you found a support group for people your age. I’ve never been to a topic specific support group, though for awhile I attended a sort of ‘we’re all fucked up so let’s get together and talk about it’ group through my church. I found it very helpful and comforting.

As to the TMI, I’m pretty sure that is a unicorn around these parts. You’ve probably noticed. However, I am wondering where the weekly orgasm challenge went to, I miss those. Periods suck though. I recently got the Mirena IUD and I was so excited, because I read somewhere that something like 60% of women lose their periods all together. You can imagine my disappointment when I found I was among the unlucky 40%. Not only did I not lose it, it isn’t even lighter and is in fact longer. (Talk about TMI….)

Congrats again on being done with chemo!! That is so awesome!

That sounds like a group I could get behind! I’m glad you found comfort in it. Thanks for well-wishes. It’s still weird to me that it’s done. Has been a really strange year that’s for sure!

Honestly the period is so friggin heavy that I’m having flash-backs to “Flowers in the Attic” and how she didn’t have a period for months and then it came on all of a sudden (it scarred me – I was in 7th grade). I know that this doesn’t actually happen in the real world but I think my uterus has been saving it up all these months and just decided to jump out and say, “HA! BOO!”

…I don’t know why my uterus would want to do this to me. I think it’s angry because I don’t have any nutella ice cream.

That does happen sometimes if you haven’t been ovulating (which is probable given everything you’ve gone through!) – the lining just builds up and up so when the hormonal stars do align there’s loads to come away. Hopefully this means your system is just getting back to normal and it’ll be better next time.

I went to a cancer support group for a couple of years.  My husband had multiple myeloma, and I was his primary caregiver. It was a very positive experience for me, as a caregiver, and for David, as the person with terminal cancer. There were people in a variety of stages of treatment involved with the group, which made the whole thing multilayered and more interesting. We didn’t have a huge age range, though – most folks were 40’s and up.

I managed to get a kindle with gift cards I’ve saved up today. The best part, I went on to buy the refurbished version but they were out so I sent amazon a sad email and they emailed back with a $20 off coupon for me which meant I could get the new kindle for the same price as the refurbished! As of Friday I will enter the digital reading world! Yay :)

I was reluctant about Kindle’s at first but now I am sold. So sold. Solidly sold. I love my Kindle like burning. My brother and I just pitched in on one for my dad’s birthday since his arthritis is getting bad. I still love books but damn… Kindles are fine.

I have access to three library systems that all do Kindle loans and it is how I read. I’ve bought maybe 2-3 ebooks since I got it for Christmas? Majority of books I get are from the library. You should make sure to see if your local system has Kindle books to check out. It’s the best.

I was extremely reluctant about kindles for ages, but then was stuck in a cramped car for four hours next to a friend who was reading one, in those four hours I became a convert.  I’m totally planning to use the library free lending stuff. Also there are a few websites that tell you what books are available for free on amazon so you can “buy”  them. Not a ton of amazing books but lots of great classics and some trashy books for those times when you wanna read but don’t want to think. I. Am. So. Excited. :)

I’ve had a Kindle for a few months now and it is awesome, I haven’t worked my way through the selection of free books there are yet. Like you said, a lot of classics, some trashy, some just weird. I did just read a short story by Philip K Dick that was amazing.

It’s my 4th day into vegetarianism. I had been meat free for 4 years before and a vegan for 1, but the past few years I went back to the meaty side. As for this time around, so far so good. Although I’ve been filling up on cheese and bread…which, while delicious, is maybe not so heart healthy? I did whip up some zucchini boats for dinner which were awesome. And I have some black beans/onions/orange bell peppers in the slow cooker for tomorrow’s lunch.

Oh and I also did 99% of the gross dishes that were sitting around for…hours days weeks. But I didn’t do laundry…or write anything…so….A for effort?

 

You guys. I feel weird, and not really in a good way.

I also recently asked my sex friend (more sex than friend, it’s like that) for boy advice. Boy in question may or may not be close to both sex friend’s and my ages put together. But he made me smile a lot. But I don’t know how to talk to this one because he may actually be a man? I never learned how to communicate.

More things, my bestie who moved away came to visit and it left me feeling incredibly weird and uncomfortable and I’m not completely sure why.

Too much weird, you guys.

Boo to weird awkwardness.  I had lunch with a good friend yesterday that had moved away and I also experienced the weird vibe. Normally I just pick up where I left off with my friends…but I was relieved when lunch was over then proceeded to feel terrible about feeling that way.

Hopefully you have less weirdness tomorrow. :)

This kid!  I get him!  Mostly because the very first time the Britney Spears song “Oops I did it again” came on the radio, I was dancing in my room to it and hit myself on the jaw so hard that I have had wicked TMJ ever since.  True story.  (Sadly, the only dance I know is the Carlton.  And I dance it with WILD abandon.)

Guess what I made today?
NUTELLA ICE CREAM!!!!!!

It was fabulous. Of course, that means I have more dishes in the sink now. But nutella ice cream! It tastes fabulous. Also, today was free Slurpee day at 7-11. Today hasn’t been too bad, besides being hotter than the surface of the sun. Have I mentioned the fabulous nutella ice cream? It makes not getting anything done that I was actually supposed to do today, worth it.

I love both chocolate and hazelnut soooooooo much. I had never thought of nutella ice cream before. I love nutella more than the chocolate and peanut butter combo.

Teriyaki is also excellent! I just moved, so I haven’t found a good teriyaki place (or a good Thai place, or a good Chinese place…). I have been having an unfortunate amount of pizza. There is a Vietnamese place fairly close by. I’ll have to try it one of these days, maybe when it isn’t so hot.

It is truly amazing. I might add more Nutella next time.

You take approximately equal parts Nutella and sugar, slightly more cream, and double amount of milk. Mix together until smooth and liquidy, put in ice cream maker. After ice cream maker is done, put in freezer for as long as you can hold out (more than 2 hours is best, but who are we kidding here?), then eat and be transformed.

I love your gif and may have to steal it. Have another Nutella gif in trade (I think I stole it from @Selena).

An ice cream maker is absolutely a rational decision! Especially this summer. I have the one that fits on to my KitchenAid. Though if you’re short on cash, but long on patience, you can take a number 10 coffee can, a quart yogurt container, some ice, and some rock salt, and voila! you have your very own manual ice cream maker. You roll it back and forth for 30-60 minutes (like I said, long on patience) and it freezes the ice cream the same way a fancy automatic ice cream maker does. I may have done this often as a teen working at summer camps.

Yay gifs!

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