After a night of procrastinating online, I click – with a load of frustrations – YES when Word asks me if I want to save changes to this document. After all, it’s a bloody 30 words.
Yet, if I don’t write at all, which you’d think would spare me a lot of frustrations, my ideas gather in crazy nightmares. So I write.
But why does it take me a holiday and scribbling on scraps of paper to remind me how much fun it is to write?
Growing up, I was the story-telling girl. I made the mistake of thinking that I could easily become an author because of that in my early teens. That’s when the deadline-fear and writer’s block-anger blossomed. I started hating the book I was working on. I kept editing it and re-writing it because that was less horrible than not seeing that small word count thingy change. In the end it took me twelve years to finish that one.
Several times during the years I decided that I didn’t even wanted to be an author. It would be hard to make it happen, you would have to let other people read your stuff and I simply didn’t want to be ruled by “Write At Least 5000 Words A Day.” But after every decision I would stumble on an article about “How To Turn Into a Published Writer,” or “Don’t Call Yourself A Writer, Be A Writer,” and I would scuttle off to a new document again.
While I could easily write 10.000 words a day for a fanfictional story and enjoy every minute of it, or crank out seven rp posts in an hour, I continued to be cranky about my “real” work. What was wrong with me if I could produce, but not create?
Not everything you write down is worth international publication and a Pulitzer (wouldn’t it be scary if it would be?).
You write to get something of your mind, to create a (fragment of a) world, to share your opinion. Do not forget the joy of puzzling with words, the satisfying click of a wonderful sentence, the FYEAH when the story turned out better than it was in your head. Enjoy and surprise yourself, because it is so much fun.
I wrote large parts of this post on scraps while going to bed. It’s a special feeling to let some ideas escape in pencil scribbles at the end of your day. Maybe that’s one of the biggest fun killers: the blinking cursor.
Still need to get your write fun sparkle going? Find support in our writing groups: Writers-unite and Nano-and-beyond. For the next four weeks I will post every Wednesday a completely random, silly and definitely not publication-worthy writing challenge in those groups. Because writing is FUN!