It was a swinging good time during last week’s episode of SYTYCD. Join me after the cut for all the details.
The show opened with a tribute to Gene Kelly, since the show aired on what would have been his 100th birthday. It was FANTASTIC. You all know I’m a sucker for the old school dances, and I wasn’t disappointed. Plus, ALL STARS are back! Get your popcorn or your coffee or whatever you need to get through a Selena recap, we’re going to have lots of fun. Cat wore a flapper dress made from a disco ball, I wore my pajama pants with owls on them. The guest judge is another pro, The Guy Who Married Natalie Portman.
Tiffany and All-Star Brandon
IT’S DORIANA SANCHEZ! OMGZ! I love her. Tiffany struggled to keep up, and she apparently had to wrestle a cat for her costume. The lifts were, to use a terrible phrase, AMAZEBALLS. Brandon was flinging Tiffany all over the place, I got dizzy just watching. Disco gets such a terrible rep, but did you see what those dancers had to do? Disco is not for weenies. Everyone do their best Travolta point in honor of this routine.
Witney and All-Star Nick
Nick was the season one winner, which means Witney was roughly eight years old when he won. They dance a broadway number by Travis Wall. It was pretty slick and Nick brought out the best in Witney. When I danced in musicals in college, I never got to do any cool moves like these dancers did; I always had to stand in back and try to kick in time to the music.
Sidebar: Mr. Natalie Portman is dreamy. Go Natalie!
Cole and All-Star Anya
Anya makes me feel feelings, because she is made of fire and sexy things. Before this routine began, I was fairly confident she was going to chew Cole up and spit him out. Especially once I learned it was a Cha Cha, which should be renamed Anya Anya, because she is the Empress of Cha Cha. I was pleasantly surprise, because Cole kept up, for the most part. He doesn’t sweat sexy like Anya, but he was more mature in this routine than he’s been at any other time on the show. His feet were sloppy, which Mary called out, but he did a good job.
Another sidebar: I am already tired of political ads, even for the candidates I agree with. Election years are exhausting in a swing state.
Lindsay and All-Star Jakob
Jakob! I freaking love Jakob. He and Lindsay danced another Broadway number, and it was… okay. It had some Fosse in it, it had some Gene Kelly-esque bits, but it lacked the electricity I expect this late in a season. Nigel gushed about Jakob’s feet, because apparently season nine is the season of feet.
Will and All-Star Katherine
Oooh, it’s Bollywood. We already know I have feelings about Bollywood, so I’ll leave them out of this recap. Will was completely flummoxed by Katherine, who is undeniably gorgeous. The routine had Will acting as a snake charmer to Katherine’s sexy cobra. (Halloween costume alert! SEXY COBRA! Who’s with me?) Will was a bit wobbly, Katherine was luminous. They both seemed to have a lot of fun, which I think the American voting public likes.
Cyrus and All-Star Jamie
I had to look Jamie up, because I forgot that she did the amazing Hummingbird dance with Hok, way back in season four. She and Cyrus had to dance a dystopian contemporary routine, and I was a bit scared for Cyrus. Cyrus was also pretty scared, but he picked that shit right up. Choreographer Travis really brought out his strengths, and he had a lot of chemistry with Jamie. I’m writing as I watch this episode for the first time, and this is my favorite number so far. You go, Cyrus! You’ve got a ton of heart.
Chehon and All-Star Lauren G.
Lauren G. was never one of my favorites. Chehon is one of my favorites, so I worried about him. (I am prone to worry, it’s my natural state.) I was pretty sure he’d keep up with or even out-dance Lauren, and I was right, but I was afraid she’d be ridiculous. Happily, she was not, except her stupid silver booties were ridiculous. The routine was unique, as lyrical as Nappy Tabs try to be, but with the edge we’d expect from choreographer Dave Scott. Was it “buck”? I don’t know. I’m a forty-year-old white woman from Indiana, I shouldn’t even be allowed to type that word.
George and All-Star Allison
The big question before this routine started, for me, was, “Will I love or hate this Tyce routine?” I hated it, keeping my 50/50 track record for Tyce routines right on track. Tyce can’t do weird, no matter how hard he tries, and this was supremely weird. The music was awesome, and both dancers danced the shit out of it, but I just didn’t like it. I know, I’m fickle.
Eliana and All-Star ALEX FUCKING WONG
I knew before I watched. I knew it would be glorious. I was not disappointed. I want to type a series of swears and nonsense sounds, it was so good. FUCKING SHITWEASELS ON FIRE BMF GOOG JIBBER FUCK. YES. YES. YES. More, please. Commenters, can you elucidate how incredible this dance was better than I can? Selena no have more words. Selena lie down now. Selena want the Eliana and ALEX FUCKING WONG show on Selena’s TV every day.
Audrey and All-Star Twitch
Audrey needs to go home. I watched Twitch the whole time. Twitch rocked.
The Bottom Four
Witney, Audrey, Chehon and George were in danger. Everyone did a solo. Audrey danced to Jennifer Holiday’s “And I Am Telling You,” which was an odd choice. Witney shimmied a lot. I liked Witney slightly better. Chehon emoted a lot, but created a strong solo for himself. George was great, too. I was hoping the judges would let both men stay and send both the women home. No such luck.
Mr. Natalie Portman choreographed the L.A. Dance Project, and I must reiterate that Natalie is a lucky woman. Her man has mad skillz. The dance was lovely, emotional, and very modern. I’m a big old sap, so plenty of dances make me cry, but I had a really strong emotional reaction to this piece.
Bye bye, George and Audrey. We’ll miss you terribly and think of you often.