“In that case, allow me to say, f”“k all of you. You are destroying the world based on a book that is thousands of years old. You call that evolved? That’s the opposite of evolved.”
This is what True Blood does to me every year. They start out the season with a hot mess, pissing me off more every episode that airs. And then things start to coalesce – not make sense, mind you, just plots slamming into each other every which way – and then once all the stupid stuff is out of the way (e.g.: Ifrit subplot), the show gets good again. There was a moment in “Gone, Gone, Gone” that actually brought me to tears. Without needing to jump between nearly as many storylines, the episode seemed to make sense and most importantly, progress. Which is a good thing, because we only have two more episodes to go in season 5.
Who wants to do the over-under on Bill redeeming himself in time for people to be sympathetic to him next season, and, also, for him to be sexily emotionally tormented by guilt for his behavior?
The Authority, Bill, Eric
Now that all 5 True Blood factories have been destroyed, it seems like some time has to have passed since the last episode. Pesky things like timelines aren’t very well defined in the True Blood world, but notice that: 1) the stores of True Blood have either run out everywhere or are running out everywhere, and 2) people are on the alert for increased vampire attacks. No one is going out at night. Everyone is armed. This implies that the Authority’s plan has had time to really get into action.
Which, if true, is weird that they are just getting around to punishing Tech Vamp and Eric. Tech Vamp is unimportant to the promo posters, so she actually gets staked for compromising Authority security ““ though, because now they’re all fundamentalists, Bill offers to convert her before death. He’s such a thoughtful guy. You can just see the “totally not at all untrustworthy” vibes radiating off him as he pushes the iStake trigger.
Now Eric is on the promo posters, so he’s been “chosen” to be part of the new vampire world order, so the Authority (read: Bill) spends a little more time trying to convert him. First, they torture him by force feeding him Lilith’s blood, and then he hallucinates Godric coming to shame Nora for failing to see the right way. And then hallucination Lilith rips the throat out of hallucination Godric. The last thing that Godric says is that he is not the one that needs to fight Lilith – so we can be pretty sure that Eric’s conversion experience is a lie. But what about Nora? She’s the wild card here.
Bill is watching all of this through the security cameras and doesn’t see any of the carnage, so there’s verification now that the hallucinations aren’t objectively “real.”
Russell is done playing at being in charge – he’s 3,000 years old, and talk of education initiatives is his last goddamn straw. He’s gonna go out and slaughter humans for fun, he’s gonna drink the shit out of some fairies, and then he’s gonna rule the daytime, too. Why everyone looks surprised that Russell is uncontrollable is just testament to how deep in their delusions they are. He’s been working with them at his own pleasure, not theirs.
Bill looks like he’s finally rethinking his “forgiveness of Russell” idea about the time it takes him to process that Russell means to go kill Sookie. That happened earlier in the season too, Bill. Way to keep up.
Important to note ““ the concept of “evolution” comes up a number of times in this episode and most frequently in conjunction with the Authority. Russell, Godric and Tech Vamp specifically mention evolution in their monologues. That’s been a theme all year: how do we move ahead? So many of the subplots – the Ifrit, The Authority, the Obama Gang – are all about the past; going back, revisiting sins, reclaiming lost dominance. No one is moving forward.*
Lala doesn’t have a lot to do this week except pull a gun on some rednecks at Merlotte’s. Then he cooks a romantic meal for Andy and Holly. It’s a nice little moment in between all the blood baths.
Anna Paquin’s pregnancy seems to have been an unexpected boon to Sookie’s storylines because she has really been unusually awesome. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that this year’s Sookie is closer to the book version than in any previous season. When she gets attacked by Creepy Medical Examiner, she unwraps the chopsticks from her dinner and stakes him without hesitation. She’s carrying a gun around, traveling only in groups or during the day, and generally acting like someone who is very well aware of what lurks in the dark.
Jason questions Sookie more about Gran’s message, which had very little to do with Bud Dearborn and a hella lot to do with the secret hidey hole under her old bed. In it is an old fairy scroll that is written in even older fae tongue. With some effort, the striptease fairies are able to translate the message. It’s a contract that trades something (probably fae protection) to Sookie’s ancestor in exchange for the Stackhouse’s first female fae descendant. Which is Sookie, natch.
Jessica, Jason, Hoyt
*There is one person who is moving ahead on this show and that person is Hoyt. Literally and figuratively. His life in Bon Temps has really gone to hell over the past couple of months. His girl left him, his best friend betrayed him, and the Obama Gang tried to feed him to pigs. So he’s taking a job in Alaska. Before he goes, he needs one thing.
I haven’t been so emotionally moved by anything in the True Blood universe in a long time. As Hoyt begs, begs, Jessica to remove his memories of her and Jason, my chest started getting tight. These are three people who really love each other and their lives have gotten so tangled and messed up that love isn’t going to fix things. Jessica could have just ripped herself and Jason out of Hoyt’s mind, but she shows how much she cares by how she slips them so gently out of Hoyt’s memories and gifts him with a future full of love and kindness and new beginnings. Jessica (Deborah Anne Woll) is one of the best finds of the show – she makes every moment of her speech feel achingly real. And the way she sniffs Hoyt’s hair before she goes? Ugh. Like a gut punch.
Jason tries once more to convince Hoyt to stay when he runs into him on the way out of town. But Hoyt doesn’t know him and Jason trips over the memories they no longer share.
And the rest
- Tara is settling nicely into her post-vamping life. Pam and her harsh approach to mothering seems to fit Tara’s personality and when the new Sheriff threatens to split them up, Tara isn’t going to have it. So she cuts his damn head off.
- Russell and Steve go out for “Greek” and slow dance to “Teenage Dream” in the midst of a slaughtered frat house. Then they make out. It’s kinda of romantic, really, even though they’re both unapologetic assholes.
- We miss out on Luna flipping her shit on Martha, which I have absolutely no doubt totally happened. Sam and Luna have been tracking Steve around the state. When they get an opportunity to catch him in person, they turn into mice and hitch a ride into the authority. Mice seem a bit large for this kind of skullduggery. Why not fleas?
- Bill orders Jessica to come into the Authority for advanced Evil Bible Studies. She compares him to her real parents, but he doesn’t seem to understand this doesn’t make him more trustworthy to her. If there’s someone who is going to recognize the bullshit of the new religious order, it’s going to be the little girl who grew up a fundamentalist on the other side.
- There is no hide nor hair of Terri and Arlene this week. They killed some dude, lalalala.
- I think we see more vampire staking this episode than in any previous one. Sheriff, Tech Vamp, and Creepy Medical Examiner. Did I miss any dustings?