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Persephone Lounge is Open for Business: Open Thread for 8/23/12

You guys, I have really important news.

Trader Joe’s s’mores ice cream sandwiches are proof that the universe is an inherently good place.

What good news do you have for us?

By [E] Rachel

I punctuate sentences with Oxford commas, and I punctuate disagreements with changesocks. Proud curmudgeon. Get off my lawn.

53 replies on “Persephone Lounge is Open for Business: Open Thread for 8/23/12”

I got my exam results and despite being absent thanks to illness for a lot of the year I got good results and have been accepted into Uni which I am incredibly relieved about, because it will allow me to get out of a bad home situation.

I’m kind of freaking out though, because I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to get by financially next year. Until recently I lived with my mother who is on benefits, and the plan was for her to support my student finance claim   which would mean I had enough to live on, but she continually refused to sign the application and kept using it as leverage to make me go along with what she wanted. Because of this and the fact that I’m not a particularly confrontational person I’ve spent the 4 years since my parents divorce staying quiet about her lying and attempts to brainwash myself  and my brothers about my Dad, but a few weeks ago she went to far and when I called her out on it and lost my temper she kicked me out.

While on the one hand I’m really glad to be out of that situation and wish I had left before, my Dad can’t afford to support me and so I cant afford to pay all my accomodation fee’s and I’ll have £60-£70 to live on. I do think that that is more than possible (hopefully) but I’ve never had the experience of living by myself and on a budget so I’m really nervous.

But the important thing is I got in so YAY!

I have SO MUCH GOOD NEWS.

1. My beloved MacAir is FIXED! She has a new keyboard and she’s like new again!

2. I can never find good jeans. I have a long waist and thick thighs. But I ordered a pair of “yoga jeans,” which they don’t sell around here, and they miraculously FIT and look fantastic and feel comfortable! They are basically skinny jeans that don’t look ridiculous on me or make me want to cry because they pinch so much.

3. The thing Publishers Weekly wrote about my book! You’ve probably already seen me going crazy about this on FB!

http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-1-4268-9450-3

Everything is perfect.

Gah, it’s Friday, which is supposed to be a good thing, but I’m stressed out. My husband has this habit of getting obnoxious any time I need anything and/or any time a discussion of women’s issues comes up, and now is no exception. We were watching a TV show and he started talking about how he felt that he related to the main character, and we discussed it, and then talked about how the show dealt with things like machismo and gender roles (and PHMT), then started talking about how prevalent those tropes are in TV and film, and it went downhill from there. We talked about a bunch of things (and he kept mansplaining things to me), and got to a point where he said something akin to how women aren’t slaves, which I said of course there are women who are slaves; sex trafficking, mail-order brides, forced marriages, heck even personhood laws are a slippery slope. But he started going off about how I was inaccurate as to what slavery meant (he seems to feel that the definition doesn’t apply to the slaves I described) and that I wasn’t a slave (I never claimed I was; I did later add that women in our society are oppressed and that it’s worse elsewhere), and then he told me I was out of line and needed to apologize for saying there were women slaves and then, when I wouldn’t do that, for not allowing him to talk about how he felt about relating to the TV character (I should add that this show, like 99% of what we watch, is male-centric with few and weak female characters). Well, he did talk about it, and I listened, and asked questions, and then the conversation evolved after a while, and he didn’t say, ‘but I want to keep talking about my feelings’ or anything; just after talking, discussing, debating, and then finally arguing for about an hour he thinks he can pull some sort of card from his sleeve to make me feel guilty for discussing women’s issues or my own opinions or feelings. I told him he should consider examining why he becomes hostile and argumentative every time women’s issues come up (it is consistent). I don’t know if I can deal with it anymore. The one thing I need from a partner is the ability to have a balance; give and take of support and reassurance, trust and respect. I’m too old for these games and power plays and sexist crap. Ugh. Just…ugh. I hope everyone else has a stupid-drama-free weekend…

I got my hair cut pretty short yesterday. But it’s turned out to look like a haircut that I had when I was 12 that I hated (and dislike now because it’s reminding me of my awkward, nerdy 12yr old self). Question: Do I put up with it until it grows out some, or go back and get it cut even shorter and hope for the best?

A couple of facts about me, to give some contex to my advice: I have had hair lengths ranging from an inch and a half to the current length which I can tuck into the waistband of my pants, and it took me roughly 3 years to go from one to the other (my hair grows fast).

My gut reaction would be to go shorter, but only if you can find a short style that you really like. Otherwise, short styles always seemed like they lost their shape pretty quickly to me, so you might not have that long to wait before you can transform it.

My good news is that the 2nd day of New Job was way better than the first day of New Job. I had a district-wide meeting with all of the people in this position, and there are 7 newbies this year including me! So many that they actually put together a standard-while-still-a-draft set of forms to use with clients, which is invaluable- everyone’s pretty much been doing things their own way but now the leadership is trying to move toward a program focus rather than a ‘this is a job we have funding for, go figure it out’ thing.

And I know what my work is for Friday and Monday and that feels good.

Also, the lovely BF stealth-ordered me Lucy Knisley’s French Milk and had it waiting on my pillow last night. He’s awesome.

I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. Via text. I don’t even feel like I should cry or anything.

I know that it’s horrible to break up with a person via text (or anything that’s less than face-to-face), but I am tired of not being to communicate like an adult with him (he’s 34, I’m 26). Instead, it’s been him freaking out every once in a while about something he doesn’t like that I’m doing at that moment, followed by periods of not talking at all. I’m not asking that he tells me EVERYTHING that’s going on in his mind, but just some things that keep a relationship going. I mean, shit, open communication and rapport are good things for a relationship, right? I get that we are both in a bad situation (recent college graduates and unemployeds). So, dear reader, I’m tired of waiting for him to come around, as I have tried to get him to talk at a total of four times (Riot Act reading of “This is what’s going on, we are both in a relationship, can we work on this?” to a response of somewhere between Taylor Swift surprised face, followed by a mumbled “I have no idea” – to just plain ignoring me). I say that after the first few times, if he cannot figure out that a) Something is wrong; b) He might be a part of the problem; c) Something will happen if he doesn’t address it with me. Well, he deserves nothing but a Darwin Award.

tl; dr I just feel like I have just thrown a year and a half away for someone who doesn’t care about me. And all I got back were two text messages and two missed calls with a canned “I’m sorry I treated you badly” apology.  Let me know when “Too little, too late” sinks in, bro.

 

Hey, don’t beat yourself up about the text thing. It happens; if you’re not getting respect from your partner, you lose respect for them in turn, not to mention the weariness that accompanies a relationship that isn’t working. I’m glad you’ve taken steps to be happy in life :)

Yeah, I’m right there with you on the stance of using text messages for breaking up.  In this case, it just seemed like I had no other options.  So, I figured, screw it; the worst thing that can happen is that it implodes.  It didn’t, and it was super disappointing to see that he put his half-assed effort into trying to salvage the relationship.  So, the text message was my way of gauging how much he cared, and he gave me an answer.  Yay?

tl;dr rant blah blah blah

Good on you for getting rid of him! Sounds like quite a load off your back. All I can say is that you should just get busy forgetting about him and having a good time finding better people to hang out with. (I know, I know, easier said than done, I’ve been there.) Good luck! :)

Ice cream sandwiches: worth all the weird gasness and stomach roiblings hours later.

In other news, I’m terrified of moving, hope my roommates don’t suck, and am trapped in a downward spiral of moving paranoia and unspeakably terrified that I will be living with awful, lying, scheming people-beasts of the underworld. (I don’t handle social conflicts well.)

Glass half-empty, much?

It’s 4.47am and I’m locked out of my house -_- I’m terrified of knocking the door/ringing house phone since I just can’t give my dad another reason to think I’m a terrible person. I need to pee so badly. I’ve managed to build a nest in our conservatory but it’s freezing. Nobody can hear their mobile phones.

I’m making the situation sound worse than it is. It’s actually kind of funny.

To help me pass the time, see how many words you can make out of this word: Resolution.

Route, role, lute, lout, rout, rose, sore, roe, rue, eros, solution, lore, lure, rule, lose, sue, use, sure, user, loser, rote, tore, tour, our, rut, rot, sot, lot, tun, tune, lune, runt, run, nor, son, sun, sin, snore, runs, rune, runes, noise, lion, lions, loin, loins, ruin, ruins, ruse, rues, suet, set, ret, net, let, nest, lest, lost, lust, luster, rust, toes, not, note, ores, ore, ire, tire, lie, ties, tie, tile, rile, tiles, riles, nit, nits, onto, loot, root, toon, soon, soot, loose, noose, too, on…

Yeah, that’s all I can think of right now. (That was fun!) Hope you get back in your house soon!

It’s till my birthday, and after my one exam tomorrow I get to start celebrating. I’m going to Saint Louis to visit some friends and see The Lion King at the Fox. I can’t wait! :D I think I’m also going to get a new piercing if I get a chance. It’s going to be awesome. :)

I miss having a TJ’s since I left Chicago. (Dark chocolate covered caramels, I miss you so!). My parents left for vacation today, and I am dog sitting for the next week. Already bored. Plus side, they get bbc America, so I get to watch dr. Who’s Season 7 premiere next week in HD on the 60 inch tv. (Win!)

Tomorrow is Friday!

Also, I went to Trader Joe’s today, but it was a Rice Drink only trip (my kids drink it- and they go through 2 gallons  a week. I buy it by the case, and I love that  I can call and they set it aside for me). While we were there we sampled the chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches- they are for sure going on my list the week of my birthday :)

 

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