Is Worrying About Your Weight Thwarting Your Happiness?

What would you think about, do, be, create etc. if you didn’t think about your weight?

If you never worried about your clothing size, the size of your thighs, the size of your belly, what might be different?

Our Primary Distraction

(image being shared all over facebook)

I don’t know for sure that Albert Einstein never worried about his appearance, but given his long wild hair and penchant for not wearing socks (a trait I share with the man, and surely a sign of my genius, tee hee) I doubt that his appearance was foremost in his mind.

In a world where all of us are bombarded with reminders that we’re too fat, too short or too tall, our teeth aren’t white enough, our hair isn’t shiny enough, and on and on, it’s hard to not put a great deal of energy and attention on how we look.

And when it comes to fatness, we have extra pressure to contend with. Since the latest marketing ploy is that fatness means you’re unhealthy, you’re forced to put extra attention on your fatness. Fatness is seen as such a societal scourge that managing your fatness is a huge priority for many, many people.

Learning To Refocus Your Attention

One of the things I like most about the work I do is that I get to see this question in action. I get to see what happens when my clients lessen their worries about food and weight and begin to have more mental and emotional space to think about and experience what they want. Whether what they want is to get a new job, shift things in their relationships, go back to school for something they love, or just have the space to relax and play and dream, letting go of these struggles is a major first step.

So how can you start to do that? How can you start to create the space for more of what you want?

There are a lot of ways to go about this, but I want to share two steps here today: allow for possibilities and check out alternatives.

Allowing For Possibilities
What do I mean by allowing for possibilities? All I mean is that in order to create shifts in your life, you must allow for the possibility of change, the possibility that you may not know right now how to think less about your weight and more about what you want, but that it is possible.

When you allow for the possible, you create space for new information to come into your life. You create space for new teachers, new knowledge, and new support. You start to feel less stuck, you start to hear things a little differently, and you start to find answers you may not have known existed before.

This may sound like b.s. to you now, but that’s okay. All I ask is that you try it. You can do something as simple as telling yourself, “I’m allowing for possibilities.” Just try it and see what happens.

Check Out Alternatives
For those of you who read my blog a lot, you know that my work is based upon the principles of Health at Every Size® (HAES®). Very briefly, the core principles of HAES® are eating intuitively and with pleasure, moving your body in ways that are appropriate for your body, and accepting that your body is a wonderful example of the diversity of bodies in the world. These practices have been proven to result in better health than dieting. Seriously. Plus, applying these principles creates that respect for your body that allows you to let go of worrying about your weight all day long.

It’s seriously powerful stuff, and it’s incredibly healing to realize that you can give up the struggle with weight and still experience health.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. In about 10 days I’m hosting a two day, online event called the HAES® Master Class, with 16 amazing speakers, talking about everything from plus sized pregnancy to HAES® and disabilities to the disastrous rhetoric of the obesity epidemic and so much more. Seriously, check it out here. I hope you’ll join me.

Um, I even dove into video making to invite you to the HAES® Master Class.

If you have any questions about the event, check out our F.A.Q. here.

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.

5 replies on “Is Worrying About Your Weight Thwarting Your Happiness?”

Worrying about my weight today is threatening to thwart my happiness!




I gained about 7 pounds in the past year, and according to the BMI thing I am just on the side of overweight. My doctor told me to lose weight. But I really don’t think obsessing on the number is productive? I do want to get into better habits, though! Like not snacking late at night (I don’t even think it’s good for my sleep patterns), and exercising.

Even with exercising, when I read about people’s badass workouts I feel like my exercise (stationary bike for 30 or 45 minutes, walking 4 miles, things like that) aren’t good enough? But really, any exercise is good and better than no exercise. I’m not an athlete. I’m a middle-aged writer who’s never been super interested in exercise.

I don’t have to be perfect at every damn thing, OK? It’s not possible, and it’s not necessary!

I feel better now.

Gaining a bit of weight as you get you get older is normal. I’ve read that it may be healthier, but those results are muddied by the fact that certain diseases can cause you to lose weight.

Anyhow, obsessing about the scale is certainly not productive. Stress can make it harder to lose/ easier to gain weight since it messes with your hormones. (I think this is sometimes why you see someone lose weight suddenly while taking a diet “break.”) Just being more mindful of what you’re eating and exercising more (without fixating on the scale) will help.

As far as exercise goes, I truly believe “the best exercise is the kind that you will do.” For one, there’s no need to do “badass” exercise if that is not something you enjoy. Plus, it can sometimes be counter-productive: I’ve seen many people get derailed from ALL exercise by going from virtually no exercise to super intense and/or super long routines. Then they get overtrained, tired, injured, discouraged, etc. It’s way better to make gradual, sustainable changes. If you do decide to do hardcore exercising, you always have time to build up to it. One exercise I do think is a good idea- for almost everyone- is strength training, though.

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