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Lunchtime Poll

Lunchtime Poll: Mad Money

OK, folks. You’ve come into a huge amount of money. More than you could have made in a hundred lifetimes. Inherited, won the lottery, whatever. Your debts are all paid, and your family and friends are well taken care of. What’s the first thing you buy?

My answer: first thing is a custom-made goddamned wardrobe. I’m sick of nothing fitting properly, and I need to look fabulous while I shop for mansions. Second thing is a huge plot of land that will be turned into the biggest, nicest, most well-run and progressive animal rescue facility/shelter known to mankind.

By [E] Rachel

I punctuate sentences with Oxford commas, and I punctuate disagreements with changesocks. Proud curmudgeon. Get off my lawn.

14 replies on “Lunchtime Poll: Mad Money”

I came up with a plan when there was the huge 500 million whatever Mega Millions going on (which, if I’d won, I would TOTALLY take the payout-over-26-years plan.)

Step 1: Buy a house. There’s one on sale in my town that I really like that I really like, so look at this one plus a few other fancy ones. There are some really interesting houses in town. Here’s the one I know I like: http://www.trulia.com/property/3050619180-2719-Alexander-St-Endwell-NY-13760 (the site doesn’t show the beautiful porch that wraps around the back of the house)

Step 2: Buy a bunch of furniture for the house. And shoes and clothes an fancy closets to store those things.

Step 3:  Fenced in yard for my dog and also adopt 1-2 senior dogs (probably pit bulls)

Step 4: Charities. Special Olympics, Planned Parenthood, animal rescues, and my church

Step 5: Family gets gift certificates to a travel agency for Christmas, so that they can take fun trips

Step 5: Volunteer? I guess? Since I imagine I wouldn’t have to work anymore.

A house. Something in NYC that no normal human could afford. I’d pay for it in full so no mortgage, and stockpile enough to pay the taxes and utilities forever.

Then wardrobe. Custom-made because most high-end designers don’t make my size.

I’d probably adopt several animals and keep them well-fed and happy. Or like you I’d bankroll a no-kill animal rescue. Maybe I’d rotate what animals from my rescue got to live in my mansion.

I’d donate a bazillion dollars to Planned Parenthood and other charities that help ladies, animals and gay people.

First thing, a pair of top-of-the-line, best-there-ever-can-be headphones. (Unless by then it;s possible to have speakers implanted in one’s head, in that case I’ll pick that option).

Then all the music. And an extensive array of new perfumes.

Then a huge island to turn into my very own country.

(and my good deed would be permanent funding for all the food banks and homeless shelters)

I would funnel that money into the existing NPOs in south Seattle and fund free job training. Or maybe I’d make a foundation to provide scholarships to youth in the area. And then of there was any money left, I’d hire a private tap dance instructor so that I could keep taking lessons since all the tap classes in the area are during hours I’m unavailable.

Hell yes to the animal shelter. I’d help along the one here. But the first thing I’d buy is probably a building downtown here and fix it up exactly how we wanted so that there’s a community arts center downstairs and we live upstairs. It’s actually doable for us if we ever get rid of this godforsaken house we’re trying to sell, BUT this would make the process a lot easier/faster.

ALSO, we’d go on the best vacation somewhere. SomeWHERES.

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