Categories
Open Thread

Persephone Lounge is Open for Business: Open Thread for 9/13/12

Thursday again? Really?

Another week almost gone, folks. Come on in, grab a drink, pull  up a comfy seat and tell me a good story. What’s new, exciting, funny, sad, surprising, or just interesting in your life these days?

By [E] Rachel

I punctuate sentences with Oxford commas, and I punctuate disagreements with changesocks. Proud curmudgeon. Get off my lawn.

39 replies on “Persephone Lounge is Open for Business: Open Thread for 9/13/12”

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to unfuck we go.

We have had a day of unfucking our habitat, and I am utterly exhausted. Rather last minute arrangements made yesterday for a dear friend to visit today and stay the night, followed by the realisation that this meant the entire house had to be relatively clean and tidy. So a few minutes Persephoneering and then off to finish unfucking.

 

So, dude in my extended social circle is getting ordained in a few weeks and I had to explain to his aunt (non-Catholic) that this is a Big Deal and that a card is kinda not cutting it in terms of giftage. This is like graduation from college/wedding level of gift time. She’s also doing this really ugly thing where she’s going around telling everyone how she won’t introduce him as Father or mention that he’s a priest so that, “When he grows out of this in a few years, he’ll still feel like he has a family to come back too.” I just can’t even… He’s been in the seminary for six years. I think he knows what he’s getting into.

But then she was the one telling me that a Catholic church couldn’t be called Divine Savior, because Catholics apparently don’t believe that. It took every bit of willpower and tongue biting I had to not just snap back that, “Of course not. Catholics don’t believe in Jesus. Silly me. We have no clue who that dude nailed to the cross in the front of the church is. Thank you for explaining it to me.”

I just keep telling myself that taking her by the throat and shaking her is (probably) not what Jesus would do.

First off- way to go him! That’s awesome!

Secondly- what the hell is she thinking? Forget for the moment that he’s being ordained, which is HUGE and AmaZING! He has stuck with something for six years and making a major life achievement regardless of whether she agrees with it or not, she should dig deep, find a little family solidarity and be happy for and proud of him.

Thirdly- what is it with people who keep thinking Catholics aren’t Christian and aren’t “saved” because we aren’t all WASP-y? If you ever bitch slap her, give her one from me too.

You are right probably not what Jesus would do.  He would shake his head sadly though.  As for the dude, so awesome.  In today’s world when you can be ordained online without any real studying of the Bible or without any real credentials, to spend six years is an accomplishment.  Plus to enter the priesthood in today’s society it takes a strong person who knows God’s calling on their life.  Way to go Dude!

I am almost done substituting in third grade!!  (Thank God.  I was ready to glue some of them to their chairs today and put tape over their mouths so that they would just SIT STILL and SHUT UP.)
I have a question for another lawyer (preferably American?).  Is it acceptable to use an opinion ghost written for a judge or administrative board (I worked for a labor board in Illinois) as a writing sample?  They were researched, written, and presented to the Board 100% by myself last year, and are an example of writing in the field that I want to go into.  Is this a huge no-no?  Of course I would ask my former boss if she is okay with this first, I just want to know if I will look like a huge idiot if I ask her.

So I’ve been dating a married couple. We’ve been on three dates together. The last one was dinner/tv (always sunny, best show evar) at their house and there was lots of group cuddling on the couch but nothing more than some hand holding/thigh caressing going on. The wife is super bashful so apparently it’s pretty much going to be up to me to make the first move. I really wanted to last time but I’m not so good at first moves, much less first moves towards my first girl kiss with her husband watching. Tomorrow night is pizza/movie at their house and I really, really want this to go past G rated activities.

Does anyone have ANY advice on this kinda thing?

So on Monday night, I was informed that I am the new primary investigator of a research project I did in the summer of 2011 (and thought was finished). After three days of working this stupid thing into my schedule, I’m down to only two sections left to complete of the research paper that’s due tomorrow to my adviser. Have I mentioned how much a hate group projects? Luckily I only have one more report and one more poster to put together before it’s done, and if my schedule holds, maybe I can finish it all before the end of this year.

I had to google it earlier when the Masterbitch Theater went up: it is when you take a sock, fill it with quarters (change) and bean someone with it. A changesock is the Pmag editors weapon of choice “to defend ourselves and each other against foes actual and imaginary, real and physically impossible. ” Coined by the wonderful host of this very thread.

I’ve been PMS-ing for a week straight and eating ALL THE FOODS. I’m pretty sure I’ve had at least 4 chocolate Pop Tarts today. And pasta. And yogurt. And granola bars. And chicken. And butternut squash. And PB&J.And now I’m hungry again.

Anyone else start consuming mass amounts of calories while PMSing? I need to feel not quite so alone in my gluttonous behaviour.

Dude, you are so not alone. I go through huge food cravings while PMS-ing. Sometimes I’m all about the fried foods or greasy diner breakfasts, other times I can’t get enough chocolate or apples. And one time, I wanted nothing but pepper jelly on cheese and crackers. It was so good and satisfying. I ate like an entire jar of pepper jelly, a ream of cracker, and a block of cheese in one go. It was lovely.

I no longer have a uterus, but I still have ovaries, so I still have PMS. It took me forever to figure that out, until the one day when I was pouring chocolate chips directly into my food hole from the bag, and crying during ASPCA commercials (not just sniffle crying, full, ugly, sobbing) that I put two and two together.

Anyway, this always makes my PMS better:

Bears.

Yes.  I have been known to eat potato chips with one hand while eating nutella off the spoon with the other hand.  It is the perfect combo of salty and sweet.  I pretty much spend 3 days eating non stop, from the minute I wake up until the time I go to bed.  And then I am full for three days after that.  In short, totally normal.  I think.

That is exactly what I want and in the order I want them.  Except, my eggs are poached with a lot of pepper on them.  Every few months I’ll go all out and hit up fast food and have all at once, which is amazing.

I have a friend who used to dip her fries in a frosty from Wendys.

For me my body is literally like “feed me all the meat” during PMS- I think it’s because I lift weights?? And possibly because I was anemic as a kid?? Back when I was a vegetarian I would CRAVE steak like whoah (which I never consumed) but now I can usually curb these feelings with some chicken, fish, and eggs.

Leave a Reply