Takedown: Press 1 for English

This week’s crapdate is a sleeper hit. I have seen the sentiment floating around for, well, probably for as long as there have been Internet memes. It’s the ol’ “I hate pressing buttons” problem.

It’s a button. It takes less than one second to push it. America is the LAND OF THE FREE! and the HOME OF THE BRAVE! and I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING AMERICAN!, USA!!! USA!!! USA!!! But we are so lazy that pushing a button offends us to the core?

Well, no. It’s what it symbolizes, as this crapdate clearly shows. There are people who don’t speak English in this country, which is, it apparently goes without saying, terrible. Even though America doesn’t have an official language. Even though America is a country built on immigration and we could have borrowed French or German from Europe, but we borrowed English instead. Even though we all should really be speaking Cree or Cherokee, if it comes down to it.

The thing I love about this particular image is how unbelievably stupid it is. The designer of the image is trying to say that instead of having to go through the incredibly rigorous exercise of pressing a button on a phone, they will instead choose AMERICA. You know, capitalism. America = capitalism and capitalism = America, so I will post this status to show that if you are okay with immigration, you hate America.

But capitalism is more than a buzz word. One of capitalism’s main tenets is the belief in competition and the free market, which is touted by those on the right as the solution to all of America’s problems. Get rid of regulation! Let the market decide! Obama is a socialist so he is evil! Any government intervention is bad government intervention!

Anybody who believes that the government should be as small as possible, should intervene as infrequently as possible, and should encourage competition on all levels must be in favor of immigration. Unchecked, unregulated, free border immigration.

Right?

Because if you look at the world at large, there are only a certain number of resources, and capitalism suggests that people should duke it out over these resources, compete so that the best products can be created the most efficiently, everybody looking towards profit as the main goal. America has a large amount of the world’s resources (money, infrastructure, military, etc.), and people, as is human nature, respond to this global allocation of resources and want to move to get a bigger piece of the pie. Our entire American system is built on the idea that people need resources and will be most productive when in competition for said resources–a true capitalist would say that we must open the borders completely so that competition can be king. It might be painful for people who currently benefit from government regulations on residency documentation, just as dismantling social services sucks for those who rely on medicaid to stay healthy. But it’s all in the name of progress, right? Capitalism! Prosperity!

How is it that the GOP loves the free market and hates regulation, but gets so bent out of shape when people talk about deregulating immigration?

When it comes down to it, the right supports deregulation and capitalism when it is beneficial for them. Get rid of social services (government intervention!) because I am not on social services and therefore feel like it is money that is being stolen from me, but build a wall between us and Mexico (government intervention!), because I don’t want to have to compete with Mexicans for jobs. It is hypocrisy, plain and simple.

On a smaller level, capitalism is the reason why we have to push those language-deciding buttons in the first place. Companies have a Spanish menu because it makes them money. America has great customer service because it encourages profit, and having different language options is part of great customer service. In other words, the crapdate poster is saying “Capitalism is great when it benefits me, but if it doesn’t protect my interests, PROTEST!”

I am consistently surprised at the Republican platform. It is supposed to be the party of Christianity (“We support the public display of the Ten Commandments as a reflection of our history and of our country’s Judeo-Christian heritage, and we affirm the right of students to engage in prayer at public school events in public schools”), and yet, it doesn’t believe in supporting the poor or the sick (“If we hand over to the next generation a legacy of growth and prosperity, rather than entitlements and indebtedness”). It is supposed to be the party of the free market and deregulation (“We are the party of maximum economic freedom and the prosperity freedom makes possible”), and yet, we can never have enough regulation of the borders (“Our highest priority, therefore, is to secure the rule of law both at our borders and at ports of entry”). It is supposed to be the party of the average Joe, and yet, its policies benefit mainly the extremely wealthy.

I understand, and even sometimes agree with those who consider themselves to be “fiscal conservatives,” but crapdates like this remind me that there are a lot of people out there who vote the party line, spout off buzzwords and phrases that make them feel good, but don’t stop to think about the blatant hypocrisy that defines the Republican party today.