Lunchtime Poll

Lunchtime Poll: Stealing Stuff

I learned on Sunday that it is easier than you think to steal a catalytic converter off a car.

We had gone to brunch with friends and had a really good meal. We returned, all happy with life and ready to take a carb-induced nap, when my handsome [ed note: he added that] boyfriend turns the key only to hear a terrible, terrible noise. He looks under the car to see that the catalytic converter has been sawed out. It also happened to our other friend who had gone to brunch with us. So we spent the rest of the afternoon filing police reports and dealing with insurance.

So, my persephoneers, what is the craziest thing that anyone has ever stolen from you?

By [E] Sally Lawton

My food groups are cheese, bacon, and hot tea. I like studying cities and playing with my cat, Buffy.

15 replies on “Lunchtime Poll: Stealing Stuff”

Someone stole the Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker off my car when I was in college. Pro tip: don’t park on the street with a liberal bumper sticker during the weekend of a major SEC rivalry game.

More recently, I thought someone had stolen my bass guitar out of storage at my grandparents’ house (while it was on the market) but later my dad found it in a closet.

In middle school, I had my Ti-83 plus stolen from my locker the first week of school.  My mom was so mad at me.

Then about a month ago I had my actual locker stolen from me at work. It was a coveted top row locker and I refused to go down with a fight (I’m tall, god-dammit!).  One picture of my dog, two notes, and nine days later, I got it back. :)

Worst I’ve had was my bike, it was locked up outside my apartment with my boyfriends bike, they cut the lock, tossed his (nicer) bike aside and took mine. 6 months later I got validation that police reports CAN do something because the thief had discarded my bike so I got it back. A friend of a friend had the best story about something stolen ever. She moved to grad school and a crazy ex bf followed her. While she was at class he managed to get his way into her apartment, steal all her stuff AND her cat! He then tried to blackmail her into getting back together with him in order to get the stuff back. She said screw you and went to take the cat back figuring the furnishings were a worthwhile loss. Craziness.

I knew no good could come of inventing a cordless sawzall. Catalytic converters have platinum in them, that’s why they get stolen.

I have lived a relativly theft free life. The family lawnmower got stolen once when I was a kid. Oh, and someone stole the Kerry/Edwards campaign sign off our lawn twice. We called the cops about it and it never happened again after they showed up on our porch to file the report, so it must have been someone on our street.

My car was broken into once when I was with some friends at an event at a local park. They took the standard stuff: keys, phones, wallets, my book bag (two weeks before finals!!).

They also, however, opened the trunk and took my 12-pack of diet coke.

And a sweatshirt I had back there which I had acquired about a year previously when someone else broke into my car, rifled through my glove box, didn’t take anything, and left their sweatshirt. I totally wore that thing until it was stolen.

Left-over theft used to be a huge problem in our house, but we have finally come up with a solution everyone can live with. Left-overs are not to be touched by anyone but the owner until 1:00 the following day, after that they are fair game. Anyone who eats all but one bite out of a take-out container and puts it back in the fridge gets shanked (metaphorically).

Ugh, food theft. There’s nothing worse than having a shitty night at work and going into the break room to find your food missing. It was pretty common a couple of years ago because the majority of us had the same lunch bag (courtesy of the hospital). Mine was stolen and returned to the break room counter a week later with moldy food inside of it.  Needless the say, I never used that bag again.

Now people just steal my frozen burritos and coffee…which is not cool.

I once lived in a place where I got broken into 2x in one week.  One of the times they cooked up my fish sticks in the oven (totally ignored the grass-fed, organic ribs) and took ice cream, pickles, peanut butter, and bread.  I only know this bc they found the dude (and my stuff from *that* robbery) in one of the abandoned houses on my block.  I wouldn’t have noticed the foodstuffs for DAYS.  And I probably wouldn’t have noticed had he not broken down my front door and stolen my computer (with my thesis stuff), my boyfriend’s comp (with his dissertation stuff), and my bike and guitar and some heirloom jewelry.

Ug. *That* was fun times with insurance. “Hi, my house got broken into.” ” I know, I’m working on it.” ” Nono, again.” Needless to say, they refused to renew me.

Underaged roommate once stole all of my liquor and took it to a frat party.  Response? “Are you KIDDING ME? I could get in trouble for providing a minor with alcohol and I have NO LIQUOR to deal with the stress!  If you are going to behave like a selfish child, I’m putting a lock on the liquor cabinet.”  And I did.  It was all out war between the two of us and luckily she left in January.

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