News Appetizers: Mittens Is Shittens

Muffins, kittens, poodles, and mittens, oh, here we are again. Yes, here we are, taking to the brimming hob-gob of news, highlighting the events that are enough to send us screaming for the mountains, the hills, the ditches, and the whatever natural landmark you care for.  Always a trip, always a small mental price to pay. Let’s get this show on the road, like never before.

Parody of a Swiss Miss hot chocolate box: It has a picture of Mitt Romney and the box says "Swiss Mitt Deliciously Tax-Free Off-Shore Banking"
The debate gives me “feelings”

The goddamn debate was last night and all we know is that sluts cause gun violence, birds are privileged assholes, and anyone named Mitt Romney won’t actually have to pay taxes. Oh, and some other stuff. (

Paul Ryan decided to come wash dishes at a soup kitchen! After they were done! And the dishes were washed! And the president is pissed! That’s my favorite republican tactic – take credit for shit you didn’t do. (Washington Post)

Cuba is dropping its controversial exit visa policy. The New York Times reports that, ” The Cuban government announced Tuesday that it would terminate the exit visa requirement as of January 13, letting many Cubans depart for vacations, or forever, with only a passport and a visa from the country where they plan to go.” (NY Times)

All-time fun guy, decent dude, and real nice guy, Radovan Karadzic, is on trial trying to convince a jury of his peers that this is all just one big misunderstanding? The misunderstanding? Oh, no big thing – just that whole war crime charge from the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia and the genocide of 7500 Muslims, the Siege of Sarajevo, and the Srebrenica massacre. Nice guy. Real nice guy. (Huffington Post)

Airstrikes are hitting the Syrian provinces of Idlib and Aleppo hard. Syrian government warplanes have unleashed the attacks and the pre-dawn air raids around Maaret al-Numan. (Al Jazeera)

Will it get better? It has to get better, right? Kids, all I know is that life is scary and that looking at the news can be downright depressing. Even more so if that is your every day-intimate-dyed in the wool reality.  So hug tight to your friends and your teddy bear, and hope for a better tomorrow. But until then, can you pass me my drink?

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