My kittens, my kittens! Greetings and salutations! Here we are again and here we are, with four more years and a whole lotta good stuff.
So let’s buckle up our safety belts, and strap on our tiny helmets, as we dive into the mess that is ‘Murica, the news, and much, much more.
Paul Ryan, in the ultimate form of grace and civility, thinks Obama won because of the “urban vote.” Hey! Get off his back! He had a black girlfriend! God, y’all are so reverse racist”¦ (Huffington Post)
Sooooo”¦ what’s up with this Petraeus thing? You can go to Afghanistan and have all sorts of chaos, but have an affair? Out. (CNN)
Oh shocker, people are calling for secessions post Obama’s reelection. And in other news, water is wet, day turns to night, and racists be racists. (Mother Jones)
A severe case of yellow fever has killed 107 in Sudan’s Darfur area. The World Health Organisation says more than 500 million people in Africa are at risk of infection. (Al Jazeera)
A massive blast from an unknown cause has killed at least two people and flattened homes in Indianapolis, as well as forcing 200 people from their neighbourhoods. (Al Jazeera)
France has become the first country to to recognize Syria’s opposition coalition as the sole legitimate representative of the Syrian people. (BBC)
That wraps us up for this mid-week-stravaganza’s worst and best news. Tune in next time for a delicious hapdashery of news that matters, news they want you to think matters, and matters that you think should be news. But for now, it’s all over but the tears.
7 replies on “Mid-Week News: Safety Belts, Everyone!”
Go away, Paul Ryan. Nobody cares about you anymore, you damned whiner.
Ready for Texas and others to secede. They can dig a Not So Great Canyon and maybe get some tourist money out of it. As a Real American Republican (RAR) it’s a win-win, right?
Nooo! There are nice people (me!) in Texas! To take a page from the conservative playbook, if they have a problem, THEY can leave. I like being part of the US.
So basically, I apologize for the asshats in my state.
Wouldn’t an extra canyon be cool though? But okay, they can leave the planet. Or go live in Afghanistan, where a lot of the laws they want are in action (or was that Pakistan? Iran?).
I think leaving the planet would be better. We can send them to colonize the moon, and then when they die from lack of oxygen, we can just shrug and say that it was God’s will.
Me too!
A small part of me is surprised by this, but most of me is just side-eyeing errbody.
I’ve read from several news sources that they’re predicting Texas to go Blue in the next few years. They’d better hurry up and secede before that happens.