A garbage collector with an operatic bent is annoying his coworker, who wants him to try some Jay-Z or Cee-Lo. Opera Guy says that if Hip Hop Guy sings some opera, he’ll sing some Kanye. The wonderful singing turns into screaming, though, as Hip Hop Guy spots some human body stuck inside one of the emptying garbage cans. At least your day didn’t start out like that, hmm?
The victim is female, early- to mid-20s, and has been dead about 36 hours. Lots of tissue, muscle, and viscera were ripped from the bones, which Hodgins finds in another bag that proceeds to split, spilling all over the ground. Ew. There’s lots of incisions on the body, the face was scratched off… it’s the perfect case for creepy squintern Colin Fisher. Angela thinks it’s awful and just wants to know that the victim was dead first. Cam and Hodgins assure her that she was. Brennan remarks to Fisher that they don’t know yet and they’re just lying to make Angela feel better. Cam says that actually, they have ascertained that… the victim was alive. And the cuts were very deep, suggesting a large, strong killer. Fisher brings up Ed Gein, which leads to talk of Aztecs and nipple belts. There’s too much chipping on the bone to get a facial reconstruction (really? she’s worked with less), but Cam suggests using the pieces of face skin they can find. Angela actually works some pretty neat computer magic, matching up pieces with freckles and such, and makes a face… just like one on the applesauce they buy for their son, Them Apples applesauce, owned by Jessica Pierson and Brooke Gaminski. Jessica is the unfortunate victim.
Booth and Brennan go to the artisinal community Them Apples is located in to question Brooke, who is shocked. She last saw Jessica Saturday afternoon, when she dropped her off at the free clinic after the farmer’s market. Jessica went in monthly for lupus blood testing. Brooke points B&B to Adam, a butcher down the road, who was getting stalker-y. When B&B arrive to question him, he’s got a surly attitude and a huge cleaver in hand. He claims innocence, saying that Jessica could barely afford to eat, so the meat drop-offs were just to help her out. A big angry guy came and threatened to crush his skull anyway if he didn’t leave Jessica alone.
Back at the lab, Hodgins has found money in Jessica’s clothes… twenty, sequential $100 bills, to be precise. A lot of money for a girl who can’t afford to eat. Cam comes in with the news that Jessica didn’t have lupus… she was completely healthy. And lying about her monthly doctor’s visits. When her doctor, Cole Reese, is questioned, he tries to hide behind HIPAA, but is informed that doesn’t apply when the patient has been murdered. He confirms that she was healthy and that she had her blood checked monthly for STDs. Suggesting she was moonlighting as a prostitute.
Fisher buys some pig parts from the butcher to compare the cuts to the victim (quicker than getting a warrant), and they do appear to be similar. However, the cuts indicate that her throat was slit by a right handed person… the butcher’s a lefty. Add on some micro-fracturing in the wrists suggesting she was restrained and everyone’s sure there’s a serial killer. Fisher’s doubly excited because he thinks they’re mimicking Jack the Ripper. Booth shuts it down by pointing out that serial killers don’t dump their bodies in the garbage. Cam finds a super rare type of gin in the victim’s stomach (drunk with her last meal), and they find that one of the local artisans makes it in their micro-distillery… that happens to be owned by Dr. Reese. They bring up his record and find that he was arrested for solicitation in 2003. When they arrive at the distillery to question him, he’s in the backroom, dressed like Jack the Ripper, with a girl tied up on his bed.
Dr. Reese claims it was harmless roleplay. He admits to giving Jessica a drink to loosen her up, as she’d never been handcuffed before. Sweets suggests that since Reese likes bondage, he liked seeing in pain at the handcuffs (adding Bones to the list of pop culture that misrepresents BDSM), but Reese says that he hated seeing her struggle and let her out. Then, a huge guy burst into the room and stuffed him in a closet. No words, just action. They take all of Reese’s surgical equipment (including his antique stash) for examination, but none matches the wounds. Brennan and Fisher notice that all the wounds are at a 45-degree angle… incredibly precise. Seems like a machine to me, but there’s still 20 minutes to go, so they won’t come to that conclusion yet.
Sweets decides that he doesn’t like the doctor for the crime anymore… he’s thinking about the big guy who they think is a pimp. What if he was a client? And the jealous type. Cam and Angela look through security footage, but there aren’t a lot of cameras in the area. Cam mentions that the Son of Sam was caught by a traffic ticket and Angela gets the idea to look at red light camera footage. She finds a big guy at the right time, standing in front of Reese’s building.
And it’s good old Hey It’s That Guy Abraham Benrubi! Aw, Jerry from ER could NOT have killed anyone! He says they have it all wrong. Jessica was his niece, kind of… he was best friends with her dad, who died ten years ago. He promised he would take care of her, but as she got older, she didn’t need him. She called him recently about a guy who was scaring her (the butcher) and he took care of that. He figured out that she was a prostitute, too, and so when he heard her screaming, he went for the guy. “You got anybody you’re responsible for who needs help even though they feel like they need to be out in the world?” he asks Booth. He offered to find her investors so that she didn’t have to do that anymore. She said she’d think about it and that’s the last he saw her.
When the team looks at the overall spacing of the wounds, they find her arms were up protecting herself, so why were the wounds so precise? Did she just lie there? Was she paralyzed? Nope, they finally come to the machine conclusion. Sweets suggests that Brooke could have been upset at the idea of selling out and when B&B go to question her, they find a big, scary, ribbon blender. Brennan says that’s the murder weapon… Jessica was wedged to the side and continuously sliced. Brooke starts crying. It was an accident. She slapped Jess and she fell in. Brooke turned the machine off but it was too late and she didn’t know what to do.
I really like that Bones has cases that are just accidents gone wrong, but man is it unsatisfying sometimes.
Sweets has been sleeping in his office since giving Daisy the apartment in the breakup. Booth stops by with some apartment listings for him and invites Sweets to stay at Casa B&B for a night or two… give him a chance to clear his mind, regroup, find a new place. At the crime scene, Booth apologizes to Brennan got not asking her first, but she shrugs it off. “It takes a village,” she wisely states, finishing “I learned that living in a village.” Oh, Brennan. Hodgins starts a pool betting on how long the arrangement will last.
Despite Booth’s misgivings about Brennan and Sweets butting heads, Sweets turns out to be a great houseguest for Brennan. He’s vacuuming, he’s cleaning up, he’s helping her fold the laundry… including Booth’s Captain America boxers, which Booth isn’t too happy about. He’s especially not happy to later walk in to his bathroom to find Sweets using their tub (it has jets). Sweets apologizes for not locking the door and Brennan tells Booth that because of his history playing on sports teams, she thought he was okay with male nudity.
Sweets apologizes for the tub stuff and says he’s leaving and finding a place. Brennan is surprised when he’s leaving, but Booth make a 180 and says that he should stay a while longer. Sweets asks if this is because of the pool. Booth confesses that he has two weeks in the pool. Brennan (tipsy on wine and the glee of Christine being in bed) makes Sweets dance in celebration of his freedom. I will leave you with screencaps of that because it’s glorious.