Good afternoon, kittens! Welcome to the news! From sitting at Brad Pitt’s dinner table to really old elephants, we’ve got everything you need to sound smart at this weekend’s dinner party.
NYC is rationg gas. My uncle, however, never rations gas at Thanksgiving dinner. NYTimes
Jared L. Loughner, who shot Congress Woman Gabrielle Giffords, got life in prison, escaping the death penalty. Obligatory mention of her astronaut husband. NYTimes
Brad Pitt is designing his own furniture. In other news, Brad Pitt is turning into Ted Mosby. NYTimes
McDonald’s monthly sales fell for the first time in nine years. That’s not because we’re eating better. It’s because Chipotle is more delicious. LATimes
Some dude fired 22 people. For America! Fuck yeah! Wonkette
Chinese leaders are transitioning power. Same old leaders, same old system, same old iPhone. NPR
A very well preserved wooly mammoth has been uncovered in France. Did I mentioned I wanted to be a paleontologist as a kid? Salon
Want to know why Romney lost? Blame Faux News. Slate
Iran fired on one of our drones! Get ready for some passive-aggressive speeches. Huffington Post
One reply on “News Appetizers: Less Toothpick, More Meat”
That guy in Vegas firing employees ..”I warned them before hand wah wah wah”, I just want to insert an one-armed bandit in his ass hole. Excusez le mots.