Gifts for the More Immature, Inappropriate, and Inane People in Your Life

I have the sense of humor of a twelve-year-old boy. My husband’s farts still crack me up after years, and my own will send me into fits of hysteria that just create more farts. The cycle is endless.

I totally get this from my dad. “Pull my finger” still gets me, even though my mom has banned it from the dinner table. The word “balls” slays me when properly deployed. To make a long story short, I want everything in this gift guide. Follow me on a journey for gifts for that special person who makes you roll your eyes, hang your head in shame or disbelief, or walk five steps ahead of on the street so nobody knows you’re together.

Rude Hand Gestures of the World | PLASTICLAND.

Allows one to go far beyond giving someone the middle finger. I need this because some days flipping off all the people who need it starts to give me a cramp.

Amazon.com: It Ain’t Gonna Spank Itself Women’s Stripper Shorts: Clothing.

Who doesn’t like a good spanking now and then? I need these because the hubs is always a little hesitant with the rougher stuff. I love my vanilla boy, but damn it, sometimes a girl likes it rough.

Shit I Gotta Fucking Get Done Notebooks – Cool Material.

I have a number of inappropriate office accoutrements. My coffee mug says “Queen of Fucking Everything.” They are used to my foul mouth, so this handy notebook wouldn’t surprise anyone around here. Also easily DIY; just get a plain Moleskine notebook and find a cool font to trace this or any other saying you would like.

J!NX : Release the Kraken Boxer Briefs – Clothing Inspired by Video Games & Geek Culture.

These are just funny. What nerdy guy hasn’t at least thought this when unsheathing his boner?

FredFlare.com – Farts Around The World – A Spotter’s Guide.

I wish I were still capable of being embarrassed about the number of hours I have spent being highly amused by fart machines. Unfortunately, that ship has long since sailed. I feel this could keep me amused for days. I mean, come on, this book includes this picture–

Amazon.com: The Hillary & Bill Clinton Combo Set: Everything Else.

These things were potentially made to be offensive to the awesomesauce Clinton power duo. I personally think they are fucking awesome. Bill, as most people who have been in his presence or watched him on TV, is sex on a stick, so why not use his corkscrew cock to open some wine? Hillary is cracking nuts and taking names all over the world, so why not in in your kitchen, too? In the immortal words of Tina Fey, “Bitches get stuff done!” Pretend like each nut you crack is some dickbag dictator.

I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats: Francesco Marciuliano: Amazon.com: Kindle Store.

If you go to the Amazon page, you can read some excerpts of this book. It is pretty freaking funny, and would be well appreciated by any cat owners in your life.

And last but certainly not least in any way…

A Round Up Of Fucks

MATURE sterling silver naughty saying necklace Go by inthegate2009.

Gold Studded FUCK Beanie by tiffanymamone on Etsy.

Eff You See Kay necklace Fuck funny curse word by Exaltation.

Fuck Necklace 14kt Gold Filled Brass Curse Word by viancamercedes.

Swear Purse FUCK / Betty by Fache on Etsy.

No fucks to give button 1 inch by frostovision on Etsy.

F CK OFFSmall Disc Necklace Brass Necklace Brass by MetalTaboo.

Profane Funny Threat Coasters Dont fuk up the by 4pointsbarware.

porcelain FUCK ring by christinaroot on Etsy.

You cannot imagine the immensity of the fuck by AnyaNerdStitching.

Shit’s Fucked Up Girly Grey Tshirt by pinklineproject on Etsy.

Fuck You That’s Why by hermanandivy on Etsy.

Hopefully this will be helpful in providing ideas for those you buy for who have more discerning tastes.

Happy shopping!