Lunchtime Poll

Lunchtime Poll: 12/18/12

It’s almost over, kittens.

Yea, that’s right. I’m that grinch at every gathering, the one who wears a frowny face when the caroling starts, who screams like a banshee when the holiday music comes on, the one who drinks the holiday cheer away. Friends: I hate Christmas.

See, I like lights and tinsel and some of that frou frou shit. I love me a peppermint moch-whatever-cino. Add some schnapps in that baby and I am rip roaring to go.  Hell, I even like hanging out with my family, an event which consists of at least five dogs, a hoard of drunk southerners, and someone breaking out “Jingle Cats.” But good lord, past all that, the holidays wear me thin and wear me out. I do not wish you a merryhappychristmaholiday whatever. I do not carol. I do not wear sweaters – not even ironically. Hell, even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, Christmas is there, haunting your every move. Christmas is like that guy at the bar who bought you a drink and won’t LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE. I GET IT, CHRISTMAS, THANKS FOR BEING HERE, BUT I DON’T CARE. But Christmas doesn’t care. Christmas thinks the world owes it a dick sucking just because it exists.  Christmas is an asshole and the worst part of Christmas? It ain’t going nowhere.

There’s not much to do for the month other then grin and bear it till about January 3rd. I take a deep sigh when I hear Mariah Carey’s “First Noel” for the 80th time, saving my eye rolls and wincing for the heavier stuff like the “Baby it’s Cold Outside ” debates (as our girl Slay will tell you all about).

So kitten doodle – how do you deal with the holidays? Let me know after you watch this spectacular example of what I was subjected to all throughout my childhood…

5 replies on “Lunchtime Poll: 12/18/12”

Nine years of holiday retail killed a lot of the Christmas spirit in me. I used to love shopping for people, but now it largely stresses me out. I managed to get my Secret Santa stuff in the mail yesterday, but I haven’t even started on my holiday cards yet. Lexie is SUPER excited about Santa, though, so that’s been a ton of fun this year. She’s super concerned about how we’re gonna get to the North Pole to get presents for people and she was loudly singing “Feliz Navidad” while sitting on the toilet the other day, so there have been some definite highlights this year.

I’m not a fan of the Christmas music, the theme that money spent/gifts/massive displays of wealth equate with how much a person loves another, and the ridiculous hypocrisy of every nearly every media outlet. However, I love making things for other people, spending time with my fam, and the copious amounts of baked goods and candy that seem to plague pretty much every holiday ever.

I deal with it by ignoring it all mostly. One of the things I appreciate most about my family (and it’s basis as something both my parents grew up doing) is that my parents might go out and get a tree the weekend before Christmas, but it only goes into the house and gets decorated on Christmas Eve. They live in the backwoods and I’ll go out and cut some boughs to make a wreath. I think the most I have to muscle through this year is three different holiday parties… but that’s why they make Bailey’s! It also gives me an excuse to wear my bright red heels that I am often otherwise too self-conscious to wear.

I try my best to avoid Christmas carols. I like the funny ones (which they don’t usually play on the radio) and I don’t like the way the singers slow down the songs to try to make it more solemn. My family usually waits until the last minute to do any decorating (we’ve bought a tree the afternoon of Christmas Eve before), so it doesn’t really feel like Christmas until a week before at the earliest. Which I like. It makes it a separate holiday from everything else. (And if you’ve been following what I write, yes my family celebrates both Christmas and Hanukkah).

This month has been too busy for me to enjoy Christmas cheer, but I am looking forward to spending time with family this Sunday and Tuesday. I’m also looking forward to our Christmas Eve service at church, even though I’m still a little nervous since I’m sharing the (short) message in the service.

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