Mid-Week News: 12/5/12

Welcome back, you lovely peaches, you lovey dovies, you children with the faces I could just kiss and ravish. It’s all about the news, and well, the news can be what the Americans refer to as, oh Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

Latrice Royale, a female impersonator who was on season 4 of RuPaul's Drag Race, looking heavenward and saying "Lord Jesus, where is Jesus, I need him to sop me up right now bitch."
I feel you Latrice. And I need to be sopped.

Yet we triumphantly return, perhaps out of bravery, perhaps out of absurdity, watching the semi-uncontrollable events that define the world unfold in internet-land. So strap on your big girl undies and get prepared, because this news review is about to head into events unknown.

President Obama rejected a Republican fiscal proposal yesterday, stating that he “would not agree to any deal that did not include an increase in marginal tax rates on the wealthy.” (NY Times)

A mortar attack aimed at a Syrian school has killed dozens amid the already heavy fighting. The United Nations said on Tuesday that the increasingly dangerous situation in the country was making it hard to provide enough food to displaced Syrians. (NY Times)

Rep. Dick Armey, former House majority leader and GOP sweetheart, has resigned as chairman of FreedomWorks, a faction of the Tea Party. “The top management team of FreedomWorks was taking a direction I thought was unproductive, and I thought it was time to move on with my life,” said Armey to Mother Jones. Damn. When Republicans start leaving the Tea Party, you know that shit cray. (Mother Jones)

Anti-Morsi demonstrators were tear gassed in Cairo, outside the presidential palace. Thousands are still gathering  to protest the proposed constitution. (Al Jazeera)

NASA’s awesome little man, Mars rover Curiosity, has found traces of carbon on the planet. While carbon is an essential building block towards life, the rover’s find does not prove that there was life on Mars. David Bowie would be bummed. (Al Jazeera)


These are the current events that churn through our brain juice, as we lie here, staring blank-eyed and slack-jawed. “How did I get here?” one may ask. The answer? Nobody knows. So until next time, kiddies, may the bridges you burn light the way, and may the news of the day be the stuff that doesn’t keep you up at night.

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