Mid-Week News: Rejoice

Kittens and caboodles, rejoice! Here you are again, back for more. I welcome you back to another round of the mid-week news, where we relish in the current events, cringe at headlines, and jump all over what’s happening in our dear world like kitten caboodles eating noodles and noodles. Too quirky? No one asked for your opinion. Let’s get started, shall we?

Animated gif from Toddlers and Tiaras of a young girl posing, captioned "When Alanna grows up she wants to reunite Destiny's Child and find a cure for cancer."
Can’t we all just get along and have dreams like Alanna?

Gen. Abdul-Fattah al-Sisi, Egypt’s top military and defense officer, warned Egyptians on Tuesday of the potential “collapse of the state” if political forces in the country did not reconcile. (NY Times)

Everyone’s favorite windsurfer and snowboarder, Senator John Kerry, has been confirmed as Secretary of State for Obama’s upcoming second term. Hang ten or something like that. (NY Times)

Because gun control arguments are reaching points of absurdity right now, let it be known that Neil Heslin, the father of a 6-year-old boy who was slain in the Sandy Hook massacre in Newtown, CT, was heckled by pro-gun activists at the Gun Violence Prevention Working Group at the Legislative Office Building in Hartford. Yeah. (Huffington Post)

Is Obama going to officially lay out an actual immigration reform that isn’t about throwing people in jail? Yes, and the new statutes can be found here. (Mother Jones)

The bodies of at least 80 Syrian men and boys were found along a river bank in Aleppo, all with single gunshot wounds to the head. (Al Jazeera)

These are the stories that churn through our lizard brains as we stare blank-eyed and slack-jawed at the news headlines and think, “How did I get here?” So until next time, kiddies, may the bridges you burn light the way, and may the news of the day be the stuff that doesn’t keep you up at night.

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