Brace Yourself: Gardening Season is Almost Upon Us



I used to be one of those jump in with both feet and ask questions later kind of gals. Then I killed a bunch of plants and felt like a murderer. So I decided to get my shit together lest my plants all fear and sideye me.

So for all of you, my darling readers, I’m composing a list of shit to compile lest you be caught of guard and your garden season sucks.


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  • Seeds (or starter plants) This seems pretty obvious but you’d surprised how often people wait until the last minute. And by people I mean me.
  • A viable gardening space, be it a tilled patch of your yard, pots, etc.
  • Appropriate climate/sun for what you’re trying to grow (Bananas in upstate NY? You best have your ass a greenhouse.)
  • A water source (a rain barrel or your sink, but just be prepared to have water on hand) along with a hose or watering can
  • Tools appropriate for your gardening space (outdoor gardening means you’ll need at least a few basics like a hoe, hand trowel, some gloves and a shovel)
  • Mulch (for outdoor gardening, you’ll need grass clippings, hay, etc.)
  • Some fencing if pests like rabbits are in your area
  • A sturdy knife for harvesting and trimming plants
  • Posts or stakes to label your plant rows
  • A notebook for logging your season
  • A little bit of love


If you’re starting seeds yourself:

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  • A quiet space that’s draft free and unlikely to be disturbed
  • Seed trays
  • Growing medium
  • A sunny spot or appropriate lighting
  • A spray bottle for watering
  • Popsicle sticks for labeling seed varieties


This is a list of the very basics to survive your first gardening season. The beauty about most of this stuff (the tools, the fencing, etc.) is that if you take care of them, they can last a lifetime. I found my first year of gardening was the most expensive, and after I dropped the money on enough fencing and tools, I was set. This also goes for seeds if you get heirloom or OP varieties. If you save them properly, you’ll never have to buy new ones again. This also leaves you with money to spend on new seed types and branch out in your gardening endeavors. This also means basically feeding yourself for free, which is pretty fucking awesome.

Not vital to your list but something I found useful is a scarecrow of sorts.  Just a sweater on a wooden T with a few pie tins hanging worked to fend off many of our neighborhood critters (we briefly considered adding a Dick Cheney mask but this was just to piss off our neighbors), but this depends on your zoning and neighborhood codes.


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