Mid-Week News: Les Entitleds

Oh, childrens. Greetings and welcome back! We convene again for another recap of all the news that proves that this dear country is headed to hell in an rhinestone-encrusted hand-basket full of things like “the gays” and “feminazis.” Damn minorities, can’t they be happy that they got thrown some type of bone, I say. Well, on that progressive note, gather your wills and wiles, let’s meet this week’s news head on with a brave face and a smile that’s sure to fool everyone.

Two stills from The Simpsons. Top frame: Grandpa and Lisa sit at the kitchen table looking glum. Grandpa says, "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you." Lisa says, "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you." Bottom frame: Homer walks in and says, "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me - no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Image courtesy of Fuck Yeah Springfield!

With a 71-to-27 vote, the Senate on Tuesday cleared the way for Chuck Hagel’s confirmation as defense secretary, “despite Republican complaints over his readiness for the job.” (NY Times)

“75 top Republicans signed a legal brief to be submitted to the Supreme Court this week in favor of gay marriage as a constitutional right… the Supreme Court is preparing to take on the subject of gay marriage late next month, when it will hear arguments on the constitutionality of California’s gay marriage ban, Proposition 8, and the Defense of Marriage Act. It is expected to render a decision in early summer.” (Huffington Post)

Indiana state senators have dropped a requirement that would force women to undergo an ultrasound procedure both before and after having a medication-induced abortion after the legislation attracted national criticism. (Huffington Post, The Raw Story)

“It’s been one year since Trayvon Martin was confronted, shot, and killed in Florida by George Zimmerman. Ever since Zimmerman was charged with second-degree murder last April in the death of the unarmed teen, a story that sparked a firestorm of debate over racial tensions, law enforcement, and gun regulations has mostly faded from the headlines. Zimmerman’s trial is expected to begin this summer.” (Mother Jones)

“British, French, Hungarian, Hong Kong and Japanese nationals are among 19 tourists killed in a hot air balloon crash near the Egyptian city of Luxor.Officials in Luxor say they have now banned all hot air balloon flights.” (BBC)

Does it ever get better? Kids, life is scary and looking at the news can be downright”¦ bleh. So hug tight to your friends, and hope for a better tomorrow. So until next time, find some positivity, treat others well, and pass me my entitled person’s drinking mug I got at the Conservatives Throw You a Bone Garage Sale.

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