Categories
Life

Rage at All the Things

There are too many things to be ragey about right now. I need to shower myself and our lovely readers with some joy.

We have horrible rape apologists, more brutal rapes in India, abortion and contraceptive rights are still being attacked regularly, the House passed the Ryan budget and is starting the same old debt ceiling nonsense, and worst of all, some yahoos are trying to contain Jon Hamm’s penis. What the fuck, world? Why are you doing this to us? With all the other shit you throw, you could at least leave us the Hamm’s junk to marvel at. Sheesh.

On the home front, I just found out that due to the foreclosure on our house, I am facing some unanticipated–though, unfortunately, totally legitimate– tax issues to the tune of around $8k. Awesome. We also found out we have termites and need to tent Nana’s house, which isn’t at all stupid or inconvenient. My truck is 13 years old, and while she’s the best little truck in the whole wide world, she isn’t going to live forever. She has more than 250,000 miles on her, so I really can’t ask a whole lot more from the little lady. Long story short, things are starting to pile up. The money I was able to save is dwindling much too quickly. And yet, I have so many things to be thankful and grateful for.

It is hard to stay positive in the face of adversity. Those who smile and claim “everything is fine!” when they are dealt super stressful situations are often one small mishap away from full on breakdown. I don’t fault anyone their right to be mad, sad, pissed, or overwhelmed when life gets to be too much. Those emotions can often spur us on or can give us the strength to keep going, keep fighting. For me, though, I need to remind myself regularly of how much worse off I could be. I have to force myself to keep some perspective. I don’t intend to minimize the suffering or hardships of others; this is merely what I have to do for myself.

For example, I could be going through crappy stuff without a supportive and loving family. I could have a strained relationship with my husband; instead, I am married to one of my best friends. I could have these tax issues and also be paying the outrageous California rental prices; instead, I pay Nana very reasonable rent and cover utilities. For me, it could be worse. Much worse. So I look around, find things that make me smile, and realize there are so many things that make life just a little bit better because they exist.

For example, one of my most awesome artist friends, Jessica Starkey, who is also a professor at UNLV, just got written up in the student paper and will be having a show of her work this summer. In case you all were ever wondering what I would look like in a stovepipe hat and an Abraham Lincoln beard, here you go.

photo of two women on a beach in SF with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. The women are in bikinis and wearing black stovepipe hats and long black beards
Photo courtesy of Jessica Starkey

These photos were shot on the beach in San Francisco and it was freaking freezing, as you can tell from my nipples. While I never had any desire to be a bikini model, throw in a beard and giant hat and I change my tune. I can’t help but smile when I see these.

Miley Cyrus made a ridiculous music video, and she is wearing a unicorn onesie. This is something that exists. Why do I not have one in my closet already? Also, at about 38 seconds into that video, Miley does an amazing booty pop. I have tried for years to get my body to do that, and it just won’t. I’m not saying I have moves like Beyonce or anything, but I can shake my groove thang pretty decently. Why, oh why, can I not do a booty pop? It is one of my life goals. Anybody have any tips? Also, searching “booty pop” on YouTube yields some fascinating results.

And then there are animals. Few things make me happier than animals. It is hard to be mad at the world when a dog is trying desperately to lick your nose.

photo of a woman with red hair holding a yorkie dog

 

This is her hipster, downtown, I-don’t-give-a-fuck look

 

photo of a yorkie with a close cropped haircut cocking her head to one side and looking absolutely adorable

This is her uptown, I-don’t-like-a-smelly-mutt look. Photo by Rachael Harms Photography. Check out more of her beautiful work here. Seriously, I marvel at how that is the same dog. But goodness, she is so cute either way.

Or when you dress your cat up in an Elvis costume.

photo of a black cat wearing a white jewel encrusted Elvis jumpsuit

Or when you put creepy glasses on the dog.

photo of a dog wearing glasses that have fake eyes printed on them.

Or when kittens are so sleepy they just need to nap, no matter where they are.

photo of a guy with two kittens sleeping across his chest

Or when you realize how happy your old foster kittens are in their new home.

photo of a black and grey kitten and an orange and white kitten snuggled up on the couch napping

One last thing that cheers me up when I am feeling blue is this last photo. I like to imagine the meeting that took place in which the people in attendance decided this was the route they wanted to take. I like to wonder if most of them were thinking “chicken” while one sneaky, immature, and totally awesome employee sat in the corner hiding their giggles behind their hand. Because seriously, Panda Express?

photo of a Panda Express cup that has a cartoon of a panda with a thought bubble over it's head that reads "I Heart Cock"

That panda hearts cock.

What makes you all smile when you are close to going into a rage blackout? And, as always, adorable animal pics are welcome in the comments! Or anything smile inducing.

11 replies on “Rage at All the Things”

A) people really need to leave Jon Hamm’s free-range junk alone.
B) you look totally awesome in a Lincoln beard+ hat.
C) your dog is freaking adorable.
D) it’s totally going to be cat-dress-up-night tonight…

Friday always seems to be the day that a large percentage of friends post ridiculous things on Facebook while obviously at work. This was my favorite for the day:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/animals-that-cannot-even-handle-it-right-now

I needed this post today as my job keeps making me want to cry and yell. I had a good progress meeting with one supervisor then the head of school told me he wants a meeting and copy and pasted a message that I just discussed with other supervisor with its fun threat of not renewing my contract. I’ve never been in a job where I felt so neglected and ignored even when I’ve worked as a temp in a government agency. Yet when I spend my time with the kids in the library and the faculty and help them out, I feel like I’m making a difference but the people in charge don’t see it and don’t care. They have their idea what working looks like and its not me.

When I feel like this, I write it out and talk it out on my locked personal journal, to family and friends, then I write fiction, I get lost in words other people have written, drive with the music turned up loud, cook as an excuse to chop lots of things and in time it helps. For this one, I’m also going to be getting back in touch with my job agency that helped me find this job since I love being a school librarian, but not for these people. I love the kids and faculty but the administrators make me feel like I don’t exist. Even the language the head of school uses with me makes me feel condescended to, that’s he’s fucking disappointed in me. He doesn’t know me, he hasn’t worked to try and get to know me, he has no right.

Thank you for providing this space, I needed it.

I think he is to me. What sucks so much is I’m the daughter of an anthropologist so I can see exactly why they’re freaking out. The school is a private school and hasn’t kept up with the times and now is losing students. The head was brought in recently to help turn things around so his focus is on money and change things now. Library needed to be changed but they have their idea of what that means and don’t see me as a professional to listen to. It sucks and I might end up looking for another job, but I know no matter what happens. I made a difference in the school.

Oy, Kate, I am so sorry that work is sucking. I have a friend who is a high school librarian, and I think you both have incredibly similar frustrations as well as motivations. It is so infuriating to enjoy your coworkers and the kids but feel totally unsupported by the people in the administration. I can’t imagine how torn that must make you feel. Please know, even though it can’t really change your stupid shit of a boss, that the p-mag crew has the UTMOST respect and admiration for the librarians of the world, so we will always try to have bookish fun to help you feel better. Or, you know, fast food cups with cocks on them.

Hope you got some much deserved relaxation in this weekend!

Thank you, its a confusing place to be as I can see how to make things better, but I’m not being trusted. The last person in my job wasn’t a librarian but more of a campus organizer and I think they haven’t figured out, no, I do different things. No matter what happens, whether I’m working here or at another school next year, I’ve changed things for the better.

Also I have a break coming up and a shorter week, which will be nice.

Leave a Reply