Welcome to Love It/Hate It, where two opinionated P-Mag writers mouth off to each other about pop culture.
Today, Moretta and I square off about Dunkin’ Donuts. We’ll each put forth an argument explaining our position, which the other will then rebut. We’ll leave you to decide who’s right.
PoM: Dunkin’ Donuts coffee tastes like it was filtered through dirty underwear that someone then put a cigarette out in. For all that people complain that Starbucks’ coffee tastes burned, Dunkin’ coffee always tastes and smells like it’s been sitting on the burner since 1957. You walk into a DD, and you walk out smelling like DD until you can properly decontaminate. Where I live, there’s a DD almost every mile. There are 21 Dunkin’ Donuts in my town. It’s ubiquitous, it tastes terrible, and I’d rather drink instant coffee, and that’s saying a lot.
Moretta: There’s a reason why Dunkin’ Donuts are ubiquitous ““ they are America’s donut shop, and the folks at Dunkin’ Donuts test kitchens have done everything they can to optimize the experience. Like Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts coffee is not meant to go it alone: its flavor is calibrated to partner with something comforting and sweet. In fact, in parts of New England, where DD originated, asking for a “regular” coffee gets you a cup generously filled with cream and sugar. [Yup. True story. ~PoM in NE] There is no better example of this pairing, though, than the marriage of donut and coffee: when dunked into a cup or black coffee, the ever-so-slightly-doughy glazed donut becomes more than just a sum of its parts.
PoM: I’ll give you that the donuts aren’t terrible. I just feel like you shouldn’t need pastry to make your coffee palatable. Since my main beef with DD is their coffee, I think we’re at a stalemate. Get it? Stale. Like their coffee.