Open Thread

This Weekend Open Thread is Buckling Down

April really came out of nowhere.

Didn’t the semester just start? I’m confused. I swear it was January, like, yesterday and now it’s suddenly April. That means I’ll be spending this weekend semi-frantically working on my final papers, which are due in just a couple of weeks. So talk amongst yourselves, because I’ll be alternating between typing and sobbing under a desk with a bottle of wine.

By [E] Liza

PhD student. Knitter. Brooklynite. Long-distance dog mom. Reluctant cat lady. Majestic unicorn whose hair changes color with the wind.

42 replies on “This Weekend Open Thread is Buckling Down”

Sticky situation Sunday post!

So I haven’t talked much about this part of my life on PMag, but my fiance and I are non-monogamous (which we have somehow made work GREAT) and one of my significant others and I have had this weird kind of relationship for a long time. Like six years. He predates the fiance. It’s pretty good, it’s like love but with the complete recognizance that as a couple, we wouldn’t work. We know that we’re really important to one another and pretty much everyone who knows the both of us knows it too.

Recently, he was sleeping with a girl we both went to university with, and it didn’t work out. She got a bit obsessive and started blowing up my Facebook page (being part of the cohort that knows our history and current status), doing that thing where it’s “what does she have that I don’t”- I’ve been that girl, so I didn’t mind. But now she’s decided to focus her e-stalking on my wedding- inappropriately liking my RELATIVES’ FB statuses about planning, sending me messages wanting to know what my arrangements are so far. I’m not telling her anything specific because at no point has she been on the invite list.

I guess my actual question is pretty general- wtf should I do?

I don’t think she’s stalking you with malicious intent and she probably doesn’t realize how weird she’s being but in my opinion, engaging her at all re:wedding stuff will only spur more weirdness. If I were a more mature (and brave) person, I would probably suggest talking it out with her but since I’m not, if it were me I would just ignore her messages.

Unless you are close friends with her, which doesn’t seem to be the case, you’re not obligated to make her feel better about a relationship that didn’t work out/be her shoulder/validate her. I bet after an ignored message or two, she will get the hint, realize that she’s been acting a bit cray, and start to move on in a more healthy manner.

….change your Facebook settings so she can’t see anything you post? It doesn’t sound like she’s magically going to be ok with the situations and you don’t want her shitting all over your wedding plans and potentially making your relatives ask awkward questions (not sure if they know the situation or not).

I just remembered that Mad Men starts tomorrow and I’m not even excited. That’s sad.

Also, has anyone watched Hell on Wheels, the AMC program set around the building of the railway in the west? Granted I’ve only watched two so far, but meh.

Book rant! If another book I read mentions ‘To Kill a Mockingbird,’ or names a character ‘Scout’ or ‘Boo Radley,’ I think I might actually lose it. Especially if that book is laced with sexism, because I always thought To Kill had a horrible underlying message about all-women-lie-about-rape. I actually have several problems with that book, as well as 1984 and other classic literature. In general, I hate it when books mention other books. Sorry! Your book is not made better by hinting to the reader that you’ve read better books! It doesn’t trick me into believing you’re smarter and so therefore your book must be good! /EntRant

This is why we are friends and why I love it here so much. I was silly and did not buy any, but the farmers market opens back up next week, and I will eat my way through all the delicious veggies (which is probably better for my self-health motivation).

my phd cohort and I clinked our 32oz beer glasses (steins? vessels?) this evening while commiserating over the date.

I have seven weeks. Seven weeks until I will be defending my dissertation proposal and I will be all-but-dissertation up in this bitch. At that point I will be running naked through the streets, laughing maniacally while holding at least two bottles of wine. But until then, make some space under the desk for me…

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