Where did the Rose-Colored Glasses Go?

My first two pregnancies were wonderful. Well, maybe not wonderful. In fact, they were really tough. But I think I looked at life back then through rose-colored glasses. I went through everything for the sake of my children–thus it was worth it. For some reason, this time, those glasses have slipped off.

I see every change and step of this pregnancy for what it is: difficult. Maybe it is my age. Maybe it is the fact that we struggled so long to get pregnant that I felt I could handle anything to have my children. And I have amazing children! This pregnancy came as a surprise. I remember thinking, “Huh, I think I am pregnant.” And I was.

I may not be overjoyed with this one, just now, because of the miscarriage I had back in August. They say your pregnancy is “safe” after 12 weeks, and I am only 11 weeks, technically still in the “danger zone.” I haven’t bought anything yet, other than clothes for me. I am waiting. That is not fair to this baby, but that is where I am emotionally. I have to wait–although I did pick out the diaper bag I want.

The other part of my realistic view could be that this will be our third child. That is more than the American family average of two–the ideal family size according to the Gallup poll. You know the joke: when you are first married, people ask when will you have kids. When you have one child they ask when you will have another, when you have a third, they ask you if you are done. Yes! I am done. Thanks for asking. I will be one of 17% having a third child.

I also worry about the transition from two children to three. I have always heard going from two to three is the hardest, and after three everything is easy. Uh–it took a year to figure out routines and life after the second child. Friends tell me that one to two is the toughest. So I don’t know, again I wait.

How do you view your pregnancy? What worries or thoughts do you have?

By Trulybst

Pursuing life to its fullest. A woman, a mom, wife, and struggling teacher who knows the importance of treating myself right.

3 replies on “Where did the Rose-Colored Glasses Go?”

You don’t have to be instantly joyous – I think our culture(s) have a bit of a binary attitude when it comes to pregnancy and motherhood… you know, if you planned the pregnancy then you must be delighted all! the! time! and if you’re not, there’s something wrong with you. That really doesn’t seem to be how it works for most women. Give yourself time – you have a bit of it, which is the advantage of a 40-week pregnancy :)

As for 2 to 3, I have no personal experience of it, but witnessing friends and family it seems to depend on the spacing of the kids. If the youngest is young when the baby is born, it’s harder because you have two babies – whereas if the youngest is at least toilet trained there’s less physical work involved. My parents planned their children <2 years apart so they could “get all the baby stuff out of the way” and I take my hat off to them while thinking to myself Hell no :)

Oh my goodness. Yes. I found it very had to buy anything but one of the very few things I did buy early on was a beautiful sleepsuit to hang up in our bedroom. It was something positive to try and focus on. In the end, it was a sleepsuit I couldn’t bring myself to put on Little Juniper because of what it had been to me whilst I was pregnant with him.

Our friends told us that going from one to two was far harder than going from two to more. For us, two is where it stops.

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