Welcome back, welcome back. Here we are for another roundabout recap of all the news that proves that everything is absolutely rational and you just might need to put your big girl pants on. This week’s news is sure to make even the most glittering and glamoring turn hastily sour, provoking dry heaves, dreads, and a whole lotta slip-sliding in between.

Boston police said Thursday that they had linked DNA from the man believed to have been the Boston Strangler to seminal fluid found in the home of a 19-year-old woman who has long been thought to have been his final murder victim nearly 50 years ago. The strangler is believed to have killed 11 women in the early 1960s, terrorizing the Boston area for 20 tense months as he hunted women who ranged in age from 19 to 85 years old. (New York Times)
On Thursday, the House, on a party-line vote, forced through a stalled farm bill, despite Democratic objections that stripping the food stamp program would leave poor Americans without a safety net. House leaders, stung by the surprise defeat of the farm bill last month, worked late Wednesday night to line up Republican votes for a bill that split food stamps and farm programs into separate measures, paving the way for Thursday’s vote on only farm programs. (New York Times)
Tens of thousands have gathered in Bosnia for the funeral of 409 newly identified victims of the 1995 Srebrenica genocide on the 18th anniversary of the atrocity in which about 8,000 Muslims were slaughtered. Among the victims are 43 teenage boys and a baby that was born during the ordeal. They were laid to rest on Thursday at a special cemetery near Srebrenica where victims are buried as their remains are gradually found in mass graves. (Al Jazeera)
President Barack Obama recently stated the United States was not taking sides as Egypt’s crisis came to a head with the military overthrow of the democratically elected president. But a review of dozens of U.S. federal government documents shows Washington has quietly funded senior Egyptian opposition figures who called for toppling of the country’s now-deposed president Mohamed Morsi. (Al Jazeera)
Major earthquakes thousands of miles away can trigger reflex quakes in areas where fluids have been injected into the ground from fracking and other industrial operations, according to a study published in the journal Science on Thursday. Previous studies, covered in a recent Mother Jones feature from Michael Behar, have shown that injecting fluids into the ground can increase the seismicity of a region. This latest study shows that earthquakes can tip off smaller quakes in far-away areas where fluid has been pumped underground. (Mother Jones)
So remember childrens, even in the worst, we have to find the light in everything. And if that doesn’t help, well then, just remember, Thelma’s leg hair is always watching.