I went to a party this weekend with my extended family, most of whom I see very rarely. As with most large family gatherings, someone opened their stupid mouth and was a total jerk.
I was sitting with two cousins I hadn’t seen in 15+ years, their wives that I had just met, and another cousin I had never met before. A brief explanation– my nana had 13 brothers and sisters. I’m pretty sure I have close to a million cousins, second cousins, third cousins twice removed, whatever. I don’t understand how the first/second/third cousin thing works and I refuse to waste brain space remembering it because I am stubborn like that. I will be referring to all extensions of cousins as just “cousins” from here on out. Because there are so many of them strewn about the country, there are quite a few I have never met. I also have a hard time keeping the ones I have known my whole life straight. I am hopeless.
Moving on– another cousin walks up to the table and, as a greeting to me, says, “Awww, look! Married life is treating Kym so well! Look at how plump she is!” Record scratch. Who. Fucking. Says. That? Seriously. I’m curious. What kind of person thinks it is acceptable to say that to anyone? Who on earth likes to be told they are plump? I gave her a death glare and said, “Are you fucking kidding me?” She, in faux surprise and innocence said, “What? I’m just saying you look plump! Not bad!” I replied, “Can you tell me one person who likes to be told they look fat? No, you can’t. Go fuck yourself.” The three family members at the table who I had just met looked uncomfortable and taken aback. Now I was the bitch for telling her to go fuck herself. Luckily, I don’t particularly care. After my asshole cousin walked away, I explained that yes, I can be the bitch, but only when provoked.
The whole thing really pissed me off. When I was getting ready for the party, I was looking at myself in the mirror and really happy with my body. I have been eating well and working out with a trainer and definitely notice a difference in how I feel. I am healthy, strong as shit, and you could bounce a quarter off my ass. People whose opinions I value have commented that I look great. But all it took for that confidence to come crashing down around me was one dick comment from someone I couldn’t care less about. It’s not just the comment that got to me, it was, and is, my reaction to it.
It makes me angry that one jerky comment can undo 100 positive ones. It makes me angry that people don’t think before they speak, or they do, but they enjoy being assholes and making people feel bad about themselves. It makes me angry that I care, even though the person’s opinion of me means nothing in the greater scheme of my life. I know in my head that she needs to bring me down because her life sucks and mine is awesome. I know the comment was rooted in jealousy and resentment, and yet still, she got to me. She got a response from me, and she got to pretend like she was making an innocent little comment that I took the wrong way and overreacted to.
In the season of family reunions, I’m sure many here can commiserate with jerkoff assface family members. Please feel free to vent in the comments.