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Seriously? Who Says That?!?

I went to a party this weekend with my extended family, most of whom I see very rarely. As with most large family gatherings, someone opened their stupid mouth and was a total jerk.

I was sitting with two cousins I hadn’t seen in 15+ years, their wives that I had just met, and another cousin I had never met before. A brief explanation– my nana had 13 brothers and sisters. I’m pretty sure I have close to a million cousins, second cousins, third cousins twice removed, whatever. I don’t understand how the first/second/third cousin thing works and I refuse to waste brain space remembering it because I am stubborn like that. I will be referring to all extensions of cousins as just “cousins” from here on out. Because there are so many of them strewn about the country, there are quite a few I have never met. I also have a hard time keeping the ones I have known my whole life straight. I am hopeless.

Moving on– another cousin walks up to the table and, as a greeting to me, says, “Awww, look! Married life is treating Kym so well! Look at how plump she is!” Record scratch. Who. Fucking. Says. That? Seriously. I’m curious. What kind of person thinks it is acceptable to say that to anyone? Who on earth likes to be told they are plump? I gave her a death glare and said, “Are you fucking kidding me?” She, in faux surprise and innocence said, “What? I’m just saying you look plump! Not bad!” I replied, “Can you tell me one person who likes to be told they look fat? No, you can’t. Go fuck yourself.” The three family members at the table who I had just met looked uncomfortable and taken aback. Now I was the bitch for telling her to go fuck herself. Luckily, I don’t particularly care. After my asshole cousin walked away, I explained that yes, I can be the bitch, but only when provoked.

The whole thing really pissed me off. When I was getting ready for the party, I was looking at myself in the mirror and really happy with my body. I have been eating well and working out with a trainer and definitely notice a difference in how I feel. I am healthy, strong as shit, and you could bounce a quarter off my ass. People whose opinions I value have commented that I look great. But all it took for that confidence to come crashing down around me was one dick comment from someone I couldn’t care less about. It’s not just the comment that got to me, it was, and is, my reaction to it.

It makes me angry that one jerky comment can undo 100 positive ones. It makes me angry that people don’t think before they speak, or they do, but they enjoy being assholes and making people feel bad about themselves. It makes me angry that I care, even though the person’s opinion of me means nothing in the greater scheme of my life. I know in my head that she needs to bring me down because her life sucks and mine is awesome. I know the comment was rooted in jealousy and resentment, and yet still, she got to me. She got a response from me, and she got to pretend like she was making an innocent little comment that I took the wrong way and overreacted to.

In the season of family reunions, I’m sure many here can commiserate with jerkoff assface family members. Please feel free to vent in the comments.

 

6 replies on “Seriously? Who Says That?!?”

My dad’s side is notorious for making comments about my body. Not really negative ones, but they will almost always say “Have you lost weight?!” To which I reply “Nope! Actually I’m pretty sure I’ve gained weight. I just look fabulous – like always.” After saying this a couple of times they seem to have gotten it through their heads.

Of course It’s invasive to comment on someone’s body. I’m not thrilled with the implication that “plump” and “fat” are insults, though. That’s not cool, and justifying it with the “bounce a quarter comment just makes it worse. A lack of quarter-bouncing on the booty does not make someone look LESS great, as your post implies. Maybe you should focus on how inappropriate her comment was because it was unwarranted body commentary, not because being fat is such an insult.

That was definitely not my intention, so I apologize if it came across as such. I had hoped by explaining that it was my reaction to the comment was the main thing that was bothering me would make it clear that my problem was with the body commentary as opposed to any shaming. It can’t be ignored, though, that she was trying to be insulting, so as much as I believe that “plump” or “fat” should not be seen as negative, her intention had to be addressed. As far as the ass comment, I was trying to illustrate how much I love my plump ass, not that other asses are inferior. I was trying to explain how frustrated i am that the confidence I have in my larger body could so easily be affected by rude body comments, which is frustrating as hell because I DON’T believe any body type should be seen as “lesser”, but social conditioning still has me in its grips on occasion. Please accept my apologies if my language came across as shaming.

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