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Five Crossovers That Haven’t Happened But Need To

A few weekends ago, I caught the very end of Sharknado, which was so ridiculous, it was hilarious. But it needed a little something. Moby Dick, maybe? So, without further ado, here are five absurd crossovers that have never happened, but need to happen:

1. Sharknado and Moby Dick. No, really. Maybe Captain Ahab was really after Moby Dick so they could stop the first sharknado. And maybe Moby Dick did stop the sharknado by eating all of those sharks, but he accidentally ate the Pequod, too, and guess who the lone survivor was? Call me Ishmael, indeed!

2. Jack the Ripper and AC/DC. This is all Slay Belle’s. This stemmed from something posted a long time ago about real people fic here, I think (which I didn’t know was a thing, but if you think about it, historical fiction is real people fiction). Anyway, Slay Belle said something about AC/DC and Jack the Ripper. Come on, picture it: AC/DC chasing Jack through the alleys of Whitechapel in the middle of the night, and they end up capturing him and someone says, “You’re on the highway to hell, Jack.” Okay, maybe it was funnier at the time?

3. Twilight and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy and friends come to Forks to take Potential Bella off to Slayer training, but Bella is slavishly in love with broody vampire Edward. Then Bella meets Spike and discovers that Mr. Right-Now is a thousand times better than Mr. Right, because Mr. Right-Now isn’t so concerned about her fragile womanhood or keeping her from her destiny.

4. Ghostbusters and The Hound of the Baskervilles. This could be some steampunk Sherlock Holmes goodness. A phantom hound, a family curse, Holmes and Watson on the case, and a giant marshmallow man stalking the moors of Devonshire. And of course Egon remembered his collection of spores, molds, and fungus for Holmes’ perusal.

5. Downton Abbey and Boardwalk Empire. During series 3, the Crawleys were in need of money for the failing estate. They could have cashed in on Prohibition! Edith and Mary have the savvy to run the operation, and Matthew can act as legal counsel if needed. And we have Lady Violet to deal with Nucky Thomas with her snappy comebacks and wisdom.

So yes, five goofy crossover what-ifs all for your enjoyment. Do you have any you would care to share that aren’t John Barrowman and your pants?

9 replies on “Five Crossovers That Haven’t Happened But Need To”

The Twilight/Buffy crossover needs to happen and it needs to happen NOW.

Also, SciFi channel did a Moby Dick/Dungeons and Dragons crossover kinda thing where Ahab (played by Danny Glover) is obsessed with a white dragon instead of a white whale. And all dragons have this organ that gives them the ability to breathe fire that dragon slayers harvest from them (sorta like whale blubber). Brilliant idea, poor execution. Its still cool to bring up though.

Wait, are we talking about Nucky Thompson, or in this alternate crossover world, has Thomas really taken his black market flour smuggling to a whole new level and is now a bootlegger? I imagine Thomas having an empire based on illegal trade of alcohol laden cakes. I would gladly assist in this operation.

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